


Dead Ringer

by Anonymous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Dark, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Disturbing Themes, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Instability, Multiple Personalities, Mystery, Physical Abuse, Psychological Drama, Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Thriller, Unhealthy Relationships, Unreliable Narrator, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-02-26 05:25:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 66,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13228977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Chanyeol knows there is not one but two of him. He doesn’t know where this other Chanyeol comes from but he doesn’t care because it’s messed up anyway.Chanyeol thinks that having a roommate to befriend will help him, but things take a turn for the worst when the unsuspecting Baekhyun moves into the mansion together with Chanyeol.There, Baekhyun will learn that there is more than meets the eye.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This is a dark fic which features abuse and really unhealthy relationships. It's not going to be fluffy nor will this romanticize mental illness and abusive relationships. Chanyeol is going to be a deranged and frustrating character here who experiences psychotic episodes and I'm going to be honest here to tell you that Baekhyun will be frustrating in his own way too.  
> Also contains non-con/dub-con situations, disturbing themes/revelations and possibly triggering themes such as violence and depictions mental health illness.

 

On a snowy early January morning, Baekhyun carried up his boxes from his car up the stone pathway and steps leading into the large and sturdy mahogany doors, with a large brass knocker hanging from it.

The place was a modestly sized stone mansion with whitewashed walls and an equally moderately sized front yard. The yard did look pretty dead, so dead that Baekhyun almost felt like it was that way even in the summer.

This was Baekhyun’s home now.

 

Baekhyun had been couch surfing for the past few weeks between the houses or apartments of his few friends, the number of which he can count on the fingers of one hand. Baekhyun didn’t have many friends, to begin with, but he believed in quality over quantity.

All the places Baekhyun had looked at were somehow not suitable for him. The rent was either too expensive for him to afford, or it was too far from work, or it was in a bad part of town or the person trying to rent out their place really didn’t look trustworthy.

 

Baekhyun thought that he had struck gold when he called the number for a “Tenant needed” advertisement in the newspaper. When Baekhyun first met Chanyeol, his new landlord, he was already awe-stricken and even more when he saw the place he would be renting at.

Baekhyun did admit that he was intimidated by the size of the place and almost backed out of it until Chanyeol told him that the rent was whatever Baekhyun could afford to pay.

It really did seem too good to be true but Baekhyun was eager to get back on his feet after being kicked out of his own home. Without much thought, Baekhyun signed the lease agreement for a whole year at a rent he could afford in a large home he always dreamed of living in and with an attractive roommate that was nice to look at too.

 

 

 

“So, this is your room.” Chanyeol smiled, showing Baekhyun to his room on the second floor.

Baekhyun was trying to come up with a reply but was too busy struggling with the boxes in his hands. Baekhyun was almost about to fall over and drop the boxes in his hands when Chanyeol easily caught it for him just in time.

“Steady there” Chanyeol chuckled, lifting the boxes and setting it down on the bed.

“Umm…thanks” Baekhyun was slightly embarrassed at his clumsiness.

“Be careful there. You don’t want to get hurt don’t you?” Chanyeol grinned, looking very warm and cheerful even in the dead of the cold winter.

“I will” Baekhyun replied, trying not to smile too hard himself.

Chanyeol already seemed like he was a very joyful and cheerful person, and Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel infected by it. There was this uncontrollably warm mood and the urge to just smile back at Chanyeol.

“My room is the last door down the hall. You can knock if you need anything. Please don’t hesitate if you need help with anything.” Chanyeol urged, stretching out a hand to Baekhyun, “I hope we can be good friends.”

“Me too” Baekhyun smiled, shaking Chanyeol’s hand.

“Okay, so there aren’t many rules around here because I just want to keep it simple. Just help around with chores when you can-I know you have a job so you’ll be busy, so no pressure either. We’ll split grocery bills in half and if you bring anyone home, make sure to properly see them off in the morning in case they steal anything.” Chanyeol added in a joke which sent the both of them chuckling and laughing away.

Baekhyun felt happy and that he had never smiled this much since before he arrived here.

“Well then. I’ll prepare dinner tonight and I’ll call you when it’s ready.” Chanyeol politely excused himself away.

Chanyeol had a tight firm grip and handshake, Baekhyun noticed.

 

Baekhyun had gotten a room with a four-poster bed, the view of the front yard outside and his own bathroom attached to it. The floors were carpeted and all the furniture were made of dark-colored wood which gave the place a gothic feel to it.

Baekhyun laid down on his new bed for the first time. It was snug, warm and comfortable. He almost felt like falling asleep from just lying on it for a few seconds. Baekhyun smiled to himself because he felt really lucky and like his life was now taking a turn for the better.

 

Now that Baekhyun had a permanent place and address to stay in, he felt like he could worry less about that and focus more on other aspects of his life he had wanted to such as career advancement, part-time studies and even finding the right person to spend his life with; although Baekhyun thought that could come later on.

This was a start and something, however.

 

 

“So, what do you do for a living, Chanyeol? I mean, you got this place and all.” Baekhyun tried to make small talk to get to know each other, over their first dinner together.

Chanyeol had made a nice simple meal for two to commemorate Baekhyun moving in. It was agreed that after that, they would try to share the meal cooking duties. Chanyeol was no master chef but he was a decent cook indeed and Baekhyun found his cooking to be somewhat tasty too.

The dining room was quite small compared to the rest of the house but the table was still larger than anyone which Baekhyun had sat at before. Chanyeol still chose to sit opposite from Baekhyun even if there were a lot of chairs he could sit at.

“I don’t work actually. I got this place from my parents but they passed away over six years ago so it’s just me here since my sister and I don’t really talk to each other anymore. They left me some money so I can afford to not work and spend my time taking care of this house” Chanyeol informed, feeding himself a spoonful of food.

“I see” Baekhyun nodded, “Did anyone else rent from you before me?”

“No. You’re the first one actually. It got lonely and I wanted to have company. Then, I thought I could help someone who needed a place to stay but didn’t have much money for it, so I decided to rent out the rooms. In return, I get to see some life around the house. It’s been dead for so long.” Chanyeol gently smiled. It always seemed like Chanyeol was always smiling and always happy.

“Oh, really? Well, I hope we can be best friends then.” Baekhyun lightly chuckled.

“I hope so too.” Chanyeol agreed.

“There are a lot of rooms though. Are you planning on looking for more people to rent out this place with? I mean this place is so big, even with the both of us, it seems pretty quiet. It’ll probably be livelier with more people around.” Baekhyun suggested.

“I haven’t thought of that yet but I’ll look into it. It’s just us now.” Chanyeol affirmed.

 

To end the night, Chanyeol and Baekhyun toasted with glasses of wine after their dinner. During the toast, Baekhyun wished for a brighter future and Chanyeol said nothing but smile and agreed along with Baekhyun.

Baekhyun didn’t know Chanyeol that well yet to trust him, but Chanyeol didn’t really look like he was someone that Baekhyun should be afraid of.

Sure, Chanyeol was way taller and larger built than Baekhyun but apart from physical form, Chanyeol appeared and seemed to be a very nice person.

Baekhyun still slept with his door locked that night though and all the lights turned on in his room so nothing could creep up on him in the dark.

But leaving the lights on only helped the person looking at him from the keyhole that night while Baekhyun slept.

 

 

Baekhyun spent the first few days after moving in, to explore the mansion. There were at least six or seven rooms all with bathrooms and toilets attached to it. The only room Baekhyun couldn’t get in was Chanyeol’s room because he didn’t want to seem rude and intrude upon his landlord’s room.

There were one main living room and another one for guests on the first floor. In the main living room was a large grand piano beside the staircase which Baekhyun didn’t dare to touch yet.

The house was well lit at night from artificial lighting, but during the day when the lights were turned off, the house was eerily dark. It didn’t help that the interior was mostly decorated in darker colors either. There were large glass windows to let light in but the heavy curtains were almost always drawn close.

Baekhyun had tried drawing the curtains open but Chanyeol told to keep it close because he claimed to have sensitive eyes and didn’t want to have snow blindness from the snow outside in the yard.

 

 

Baekhyun also discovered that on windy nights when the wind blew hard enough in the right direction, the branches of the tree outside Baekhyun’s window would tap and hit the glass panes from being pushed by the wind.

It startled Baekhyun the first few times but he eventually got used to it and soon he could no longer distinguish between the tree branches and a person tapping on the glass.

 

 

 

Baekhyun worked long shifts at his job where he sorted goods in the warehouse of a shipping company, from morning until evening, with sometimes only getting one day off a week. When he got home, he was almost always exhausted and beyond means tired.

Baekhyun’s off days were mostly spent resting and sleeping too to regain the energy lost during the week. That or he was busy going around town searching for a new job which paid more than the current one he had and was less physically straining.

Baekhyun didn’t have much time to talk to or hang out with Chanyeol because, by the time he got back home in the evening, he only had enough energy in him to hit the shower and eat a little bit before passing out from exhaustion.

 

If Baekhyun got home late and missed eating dinner with Chanyeol, he would find dinner already cooked and waiting for him with a note telling him to eat up, with a smiley added and drawn onto the note.

No matter how tired Baekhyun was that day, reading the note and seeing the thoughtful gesture by Chanyeol never failed to put a warm smile on his face. It was nice to sleep later on not on an empty stomach because he had been too tired to get something to eat.

 

 

For a while, Baekhyun did feel bad about it because Chanyeol had wanted some company and Baekhyun was just too busy to spend time with. But, Baekhyun also found out that he rarely ever ran into Chanyeol outside the kitchen and living room.

Chanyeol was almost, if not always, cooped up in his room behind that shut door at the end of the hallway.

 

 

 

One evening after a busy day at work, Baekhyun got home and was about to turn the handle to the door of his room when he thought that he should at least knock on Chanyeol’s door, and maybe check up on Chanyeol.

Baekhyun walked down to the end of the hall and was about to knock his fist on the door when he heard a loud smashing thud sound from Chanyeol’s room.

“Chanyeol! Are you alright?” Baekhyun immediately reacted, knocking on the door, concerned. “Chanyeol, are you there? Do you need help?”

There was dead and utter silence for a minute and Baekhyun was beginning to get worried, and even beginning to wonder how he should break down the door if Chanyeol had injured himself and needed help in there.

“I’m fine” Chanyeol’s voice piped up, slightly muffled. “It’s good. I just dropped something.”

“Oh, okay then. Let me know if you need any help.” Baekhyun replied, loud enough to make sure Chanyeol heard him from behind the door.

“Thanks” Chanyeol was heard loudly replying back.

Baekhyun backed away from the door and left, returning to his room, choosing to believe that Chanyeol was okay, especially because he heard nothing else coming from Chanyeol’s room that was concerning.

 

 

 

Several evenings later when Baekhyun had returned from work again and was heading to his room, he heard slightly different sounds from Chanyeol’s room down the hall.

This time it was screeching noises as if fingernails were being scraped on the walls. It wasn’t that loud but it sent shivers down Baekhyun’s spine anyway from how tingling the sounds were.

The noises abruptly stopped when Baekhyun was about to walk down the hall towards Chanyeol’s room. Baekhyun stood there in the middle of the hallway for a bit longer but the noises never returned, so he decided to mind his own business and return to his room.

 

 

That same night, Baekhyun got up in the middle of the night feeling that his throat was dry and parched. No matter how hard he tossed and turned and tried to go back to sleep, it seemed like he wasn’t going to be able to until he got that glass of water.

Only then, Baekhyun realized the downside of living in such a large place was that the kitchen was way too far from his room. It wasn’t a problem until you were half asleep and it was dead in the night.

Baekhyun sighed and after much going through over it with himself, he got up and left for the kitchen to get a glass of water only to find Chanyeol already there.

 

Chanyeol was wearing a light colored sweater, like he usually did and his black hair was rather messy as if it had been pulled and tugged on. He really did look tired.

Chanyeol was standing by the sink and staring at the wall behind it when he heard Baekhyun walk into the kitchen. “Oh, you’re awake. Hi” Chanyeol greeted, smiling weakly at Baekhyun.

“Yeah, I just came to get a glass of water,” Baekhyun explained, smiling in return and walking past Chanyeol to grab a cup from the shelves.

“Yup, I hate when that happens. It feels like you can’t sleep until then.” Chanyeol sounded relatable.

“Exactly” Baekhyun agreed, filling the cup with water from the dispenser beside the fridge.

 

For a moment, Baekhyun’s eyes caught on a glimpse of Chanyeol’s hands which were partially hidden from the long sleeves of the sweater.

Chanyeol’s hands were bloody but it looked like the blood had since dried up and was now stuck to his skin, flaking and painting it a dark red color.

Baekhyun didn’t feel right about it especially because of what he had heard earlier on and chose to ignore it, quickly excusing himself under the pretense of being tired so he could return to his room as soon as he could.

So what if Chanyeol liked scraping the walls with his hands until it bled, it was none of Baekhyun’s business, he believed.

 

 

 

One morning, just about three weeks since moving into the mansion, Baekhyun found out that his old scrape of a second-hand car was broken down and would not start no matter how hard he tried to. The car had been faulty from the start, hence the cheap price Baekhyun got for it, but he didn’t expect it to be a loss so fast.

“Shit” Baekhyun sighed, slamming down the hood on the engine. He was already late for work and thought that he should just catch a bus instead before the snow grew any heavier. Weather forecasts didn’t look too favorable that day and it was not like he could just call up a mechanic to fix the car right now because he wouldn’t be to pay for it later on.

Chanyeol’s expensive imported car was parked in the garage just beside Baekhyun’s own car which was as good as scrap metal now. Baekhyun had never seen Chanyeol drive it but he did leave the house to get supplies, so Baekhyun safely assumed that Chanyeol could actually drive.

 

 

Baekhyun hated to owe people but he had no choice. His manager was a grumpy old man who would cut his shifts and working hours if he skipped work that day because of a broken down car. Baekhyun would have to ask Chanyeol to send him to work that day.

Baekhyun went back into the mansion and knocked on Chanyeol’s door, “Chanyeol, are you awake?”

After a few more knocks, there was still silence and Baekhyun assumed Chanyeol was still asleep, so Baekhyun turned around to leave and decided to just catch the bus before it got any late.

Baekhyun had just taken a few steps from the door when he heard Chanyeol’s door creak open slowly, the hinges on the door making a sound then.

Baekhyun turned his head around to see Chanyeol, standing straight behind the ajar door. Chanyeol was wearing his usual sweater, in a light khaki color this time. It seemed like Chanyeol was really fond of lighter colors despite how dark the mansion’s interior was.

Chanyeol was smiling at Baekhyun, slightly tilting his head, “I’m sorry, I just got up. Did you need anything?”

“Oh, it’s okay. It’s just that my car broke down and I needed help to get to work. I can take the bus though. It’s fine.” Baekhyun assured.

“No. Let me drive you to work.” Chanyeol insisted.

“Really, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just thought you were awake already.” Baekhyun tried to refuse.

“No!” Chanyeol firmly exclaimed, his voice almost growling. “I said I’ll drive you to work. We’re friends now, aren’t we?”

“Yeah…sure”, Baekhyun was slightly startled by Chanyeol’s sudden change in tone, but he casually brushed it off and accepted Chanyeol’s offer.

“Okay then. Let me get dressed. I’ll be a minute.” Chanyeol excused himself for a while before emerging from his room dressed in a light grayish-white coat.

 

The drive to work was pleasant though. Chanyeol was smiling, joking and laughing along as he made Baekhyun tell stories about work and the fussiness of his boss and the antics of his co-workers. Baekhyun was actually impressed that someone bothered to ask him about his work, which no one had bothered to ask about before this.

“So, what time do you get off from work so I can pick you up?” Chanyeol asked when they had pulled up in front of the warehouse office Baekhyun worked in.

“Today I get off around 7 pm but I can take a bus or an Uber. Don’t worry about it.” Baekhyun informed.

“No, it’s alright. I don’t have anything to do so I’ll be here at seven this evening then. I don’t mind dropping and picking you up until your car gets fixed.” Chanyeol smiled.

“Thank you. You’re so nice, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun hesitated but ended up accepting Chanyeol’s offer anyway, because he didn’t want to seem rude to turn it down. He almost couldn’t believe that he was flustered from having someone be so nice to him. Baekhyun just wasn’t used to these kinds of things.

“Well then, have a good day at work.” Chanyeol waved Baekhyun off.

 

 

Baekhyun’s car proved itself to be scrap metal indeed, however. The mechanics at the repair shop all said it was a lost cause and that the engine was beyond salvageable. Baekhyun would either have to fork out almost his entire three months’ salary for a new engine or sell the car to a junkyard and at least get some money in return.

Baekhyun chose the latter instead because the old car was bound to come up with several other problems in the future even if he got the new engine for it now. Baekhyun knew that he wouldn’t be able to afford the upkeep costs.

 

Chanyeol continued dropping off and picking up Baekhyun from work every day. Baekhyun tried giving Chanyeol the money he got from selling off his car, as sort of a payment for Chanyeol ferrying him around.

Baekhyun didn’t want to feel too indebted and like he was taking advantage of Chanyeol’s kindness. As far as kindness went, Baekhyun believed that Chanyeol was very kind indeed-maybe even a bit too much for Baekhyun’s own good.

Chanyeol refused it despite however Baekhyun tried to make him take it. Baekhyun even tried slipping the money under Chanyeol’s door but he would always find the envelope of money under his own door later on.

 

 

Eventually, it turned into a game of some sorts for them to be hiding the money so the other could find it. Baekhyun would end up finding the money in places such as inside his shoe, under his plate and even under his pillow.

The most striking one was definitely the morning where Baekhyun woke up to find the envelope of money- taped with scotch tape to one of the four posters of his bed. But when Baekhyun got up to check the door to his room, it was still locked from the inside and the door chain still in place.

Baekhyun admitted that he was slightly creeped out by that. After that, Baekhyun used the money to buy Chanyeol’s share of the groceries so he could still repay Chanyeol in a way, and put an end to their hide and seek game gone weird.

 

 

But apart from that, everything else seemed fine. Baekhyun no longer heard questionable noises coming from Chanyeol’s room down the hall anymore, so he dismissed it as a onetime thing.

Chanyeol really was a nice and kind person with actions to back it up too. Baekhyun was even beginning to feel bad for even doubting or being wary of Chanyeol in the first place.

 

 

 

About a month into living at the mansion with Chanyeol, Baekhyun finally managed to secure his first two days straight off from work. Baekhyun allocated one day for him to rest and the other to hopefully spend some time with Chanyeol.

It snowed heavily that February day. The news reported that it was better to stay indoors due to poor road conditions. Because of the heavy snow, Chanyeol had all the curtains drawn shut because he didn’t want too much sun later reflecting off the snow.

Baekhyun stayed in with Chanyeol to watch movies together in the TV room. The TV room was a nice cozy room with large and soft couches. The lighting was dim and the large TV was hung on the wall. The room’s ambiance was just perfect to sit in for a movie.

 

After the second movie, Baekhyun soon found himself nodding off and falling asleep even if it was probably noon at latest. It did not help that the couch he sat on was way too comfortable to put him to sleep. He didn’t even really remember what movie they were watching in the first place.

“Are you alright? You look tired there. Do you want to stop?” Chanyeol asked, concerned and sounding like it as he pressed the pause button on the remote control.

“Oh, no. I’m good. Don’t stop for me” Baekhyun brushed it off, opening his eyes wide and sitting up straight despite being obviously tired.

“Really?” Chanyeol further inquired.

“Yes, really” Baekhyun insisted.

“Well then, I believe you but let me know if you want to stop anytime,” Chanyeol added.

“Don’t worry about me, Chanyeol. I am fine. You should worry more about yourself instead” Baekhyun lightly chuckled, half-asleep.

“Why do you say so? I am fine.” Chanyeol stated after asking.

Baekhyun almost instantly fell back asleep again on the couch, with his head slumping on Chanyeol’s shoulder to use as his pillow. Chanyeol let Baekhyun did that anyway.

In his half-asleep and half-awake state, Baekhyun let his mouth run, mumbling, “Yeah you’re fine but those sounds from your room really don’t sound like it is. Let me borrow your shoulder, okay?”

Baekhyun fell asleep right away after that.

Chanyeol let the movie play on but for the next two hours, he watched Baekhyun sleep on his shoulder insteatd of at the TV screen.

 

But, Chanyeol was later talkative and cheerful during dinner so Baekhyun didn’t suspect anything was wrong or that what he said had quite set Chanyeol off.

 

 

 

The following morning, Baekhyun was about to step out of the door connecting into the garage with Chanyeol following behind him. This had been routine for about two weeks since Baekhyun had sold off his old car, and Chanyeol had been driving him to and back from work.

Instead, Chanyeol grabbed the handle of the door still in Baekhyun’s grasp. Chanyeol pulled the door back and slammed it shut just a few inches from Baekhyun’s face.

Baekhyun’s stepped back in with his eyes wide and round in surprise from what Chanyeol had just done, releasing his own hand from the handle of the door.

 

Baekhyun turned around but was caged between Chanyeol’s hands, pressed against the door behind him at each side of his head.

“Umm…I have to go to work.” Baekhyun muttered, seeing that he couldn’t probably escape unless he squeezed his way underneath Chanyeol’s arms, which he could probably do due to his shorter and smaller stature.

“No. You’re not going to work today.” Chanyeol sternly replied.

“Is something wrong?” Baekhyun was confused and clueless about what was going on. The Chanyeol in front of him right now didn’t seem like the Chanyeol that Baekhyun knew, or he thought he did.

“-because I said so” Chanyeol leaned his head in close and whispered in Baekhyun’s ear.

 

Baekhyun felt a tingling sensation run down his spine and goosebumps on his skin from Chanyeol’s actions.

“Chanyeol, what is going on with you?” Baekhyun stammered, beginning to feel the panic and urgency that he probably shouldn’t be there right now with Chanyeol- that he should be getting away from Chanyeol instead.

Chanyeol hooked a finger on Baekhyun’s belt around his waist, bringing in Baekhyun closer by pulling him at the belt.

“No!” Baekhyun firmly refused, trying to pry Chanyeol’s hand away from his belt. “I don’t like this. Please stop.”

 

Baekhyun didn’t succeed however and Chanyeol managed to wrestle Baekhyun’s hands away to undo the belt and pull it out from the loops on Baekhyun’s pants.

Baekhyun shoved Chanyeol backward, attempting to open the door behind him and run away through the garage. Baekhyun now really felt the sense of urgency and his inner monologue screaming at him to get out of there.

Chanyeol didn’t fall from being shoved at, however. In fact, he remained standing without even budging a little bit. He was proven to be stronger and sturdy than Baekhyun was.

 

Before Baekhyun could push the door open behind him and run, he was suddenly pulled back by a strong and snapping force around his neck.

Baekhyun soon found out that Chanyeol had swung the belt over his neck and used it as a lasso to pull him back inside the house.

Baekhyun fell to the floor, unable to get up with Chanyeol pushing and holding him down by the neck with the belt.

 

“Let me go” Baekhyun struggled to speak due to the constricting leather belt around his neck, clawing at Chanyeol’s hands to let him go.

“No! I said you aren’t going anywhere today.” Chanyeol growled.

“What the fuck is your problem!?” Baekhyun spat, struggling to get up and shove Chanyeol away.

“Do you think I can let you go now that you have found out about us?” Chanyeol hissed, pushing at Baekhyun’s head.

 

 

While Baekhyun screamed for help and relentlessly tried to free himself from the belt digging into his skin around his neck so he could get away from Chanyeol, he was dragged against the floor by the neck all the way to the spare bedroom on the first floor of the mansion.

Baekhyun was shoved onto the floor and Chanyeol finally undid the belt around his neck before locking the door to the room shut, trapping Baekhyun in the room with Chanyeol.

“Why are you doing this to me? I thought we were friends?” Baekhyun whimpered, trying to get up on his feet and rubbing the sore skin on his neck. Baekhyun was still mostly in shock and disbelief at what was actually going on around him and why Chanyeol would be doing such a thing.

“We’re not friends, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol spoke through gritted teeth, slowly winding the belt-Baekhyun’s belt around his hand.

 

Baekhyun only then realized that Chanyeol was wearing black today. Hasn’t Chanyeol always worn light colored clothing before this? Baekhyun tried to remember but it was hard when he felt a punch and the hard metal buckle of his belt on his face.

Baekhyun could taste blood in his mouth before everything went dark.

 

 

 


	2. II

 

“Get up” Chanyeol grumbled, shaking Baekhyun by the shoulders.

Baekhyun had been drifting in and out of consciousness for a bit now. He was disoriented and the few seconds of consciousness he had weren’t enough for his hazy mind to clear up and realize what situation he was in. 

The blow to his head really did knock him out good for a few minutes and he was struggling to rouse himself now. But Chanyeol didn’t like it when Baekhyun was unresponsive. It wasn’t fun like that.

When Chanyeol landed that harsh slap on Baekhyun’s face, Baekhyun was startled and finally came to albeit slowly.

 

Baekhyun woke up, finding himself on the floor in the spare bedroom still, with Chanyeol straddling his waist and pinning him from above.

“Get off me” Baekhyun muttered, feeling his head spinning and aching like hell. Baekhyun pushed at Chanyeol’s chest to possibly get the larger man off of him but Baekhyun found out that he just didn’t possess the strength for that.

“I already said that you aren’t going anywhere today,” Chanyeol growled, pinning down hard on Baekhyun’s wrists to the carpeted floor. Chanyeol stared down Baekhyun straight into the eye from above.

 

Baekhyun was so uncomfortable and confused still at what was going on, so he turned his head away to the side to avoid looking into Chanyeol’s eyes. Eye contact felt very queasy and weird. It was like looking into the eyes of a different person who wasn’t Chanyeol but a crazy and deranged man.

Baekhyun wondered if this Chanyeol was the same one he knew because it didn’t feel like it.

 

“You will look at me” Chanyeol demanded, releasing one hand from Baekhyun’s wrist to roughly turn Baekhyun’s chin to face him.

“What the fuck do you want from me!? Why are you doing this? Let me go.” Baekhyun spat in Chanyeol’s face, squirming under Chanyeol’s hold to release himself.

 

Chanyeol flinched from having Baekhyun’s spit directly land onto his eyes, immediately bringing his hands up from pinning Baekhyun down to wipe it away from his face.

Using the short opportunity, Baekhyun mustered all the strength he had to push Chanyeol off and kick him in the stomach. The unsuspecting Chanyeol fell backward on his back onto the floor.

Baekhyun got up immediately and dashed for the door but just when he finally had the handle in his hand, Chanyeol roughly pulled him back by the hair and turned him around, slamming his back into the door.

Chanyeol hooked his arms under Baekhyun’s thighs to lift him up from the floor, pushing Baekhyun against the door and wedging Baekhyun between himself and the door.

Baekhyun struggled and did not stop pushing Chanyeol away without much avail, literally on the verge of tears when the fear of hopelessness began to set in, “Let me go! Why are you doing this to me!?”

 

Chanyeol never answered a single of Baekhyun’s questions as he tried to keep Baekhyun from fighting against him against the door.

Baekhyun did all he could do and think of to get him out of that predicament. He pushed at Chanyeol’s face, slammed his elbow down on Chanyeol’s shoulders and tried moving his legs from Chanyeol’s hold to get back down on the floor.

The door Baekhyun was pinned against-opened inwards so trying to unlock it from behind him and hoping it would open and make them fall over so Chanyeol would fall with him wasn’t going to work.

 

“Stop moving” Chanyeol hissed, dodging and trying to avoid Baekhyun’s hands who were freely assaulting him.

“No! Let me go” Baekhyun cried out, hitting and trying to push Chanyeol away. Baekhyun now regretted not taking self-defense classes which were offered in school or hitting the gym to build on strength, assuming that he would be safe from things like this because he was male.

There was no point screaming at Chanyeol asking why he was doing this because getting out of this situation was more important, Baekhyun realized.

In an act of desperation and last resort, Baekhyun threw himself forward against on Chanyeol and bit down hard on Chanyeol’s right ear until he could taste blood in his already injured mouth.

 

Chanyeol gasped in pain but Baekhyun’s plan backfired on him. Chanyeol was relentless and Baekhyun biting down on his ear did not stop Chanyeol at all.

Instead, Chanyeol appeared and looked very angry instead now with a bloody ear to boot. His face spelled the definition of furious and Baekhyun froze, afraid of the man in front of him and then realized that was the moment where he fucked up.

 

Baekhyun found himself being thrown face down onto the bed and strangled with the belt-his own belt from behind. Chanyeol sat down on Baekhyun’s back, effortlessly pinning Baekhyun down on the bed with his own weight.

Baekhyun did not give up without a fight but the more he struggled, the more oxygen he was using and soon he found himself gasping for air but none was going down his throat due to the constriction of the belt around his neck.

Chanyeol really had a firm and tight grip after all and it wasn’t limited to handshakes.

 

Baekhyun passed out again from the lack of air going down his lungs and in the last moments of consciousness he had, Baekhyun swore that he felt the belt loosening around his neck and heard Chanyeol wailing and sobbing.

 

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol was shaking, calling out for Baekhyun as he slowly turned the smaller and unconscious man over on the bed to lie on his back. “Baekhyun, wake up. I’m so sorry. Oh my god.” Chanyeol trembled uncontrollably, dry heaving and trying to coax Baekhyun into waking up.

Chanyeol pressed his bloody and injured ear down on Baekhyun’s chest and his face lit up when he heard Baekhyun’s heart still beating and feeling the other’s chest heaving up and down, showing signs of breathing.

Chanyeol immediately backed away, getting off from the bed and Baekhyun while cursing at himself.

 

Kneeling on the floor, Chanyeol grabbed his own hands to stop it from trembling and cried out lowly to himself, “Please stop.”

“I have a friend now. Please don’t do this.” Chanyeol cried, grabbing his own hair and dropping onto the floor where he laid, sobbing and shaking.

 

After a while, Chanyeol got up and looked back up at the bed where he saw Baekhyun still lying there, unconscious, with obvious strangulation marks on his neck which were red and beginning to bruise.

Chanyeol rushed out of the room, screaming, which slowly woke Baekhyun up from the sheer loudness of it.

 

Chanyeol ran out the door leading to the garage and slammed down the button on the wall that unlocked the automatic garage doors, unleashing a strong freezing wind and flurries of snow into the garage.

Chanyeol erratically ran out onto the driveway and off the path onto what was grass now covered by a foot of snow, before stumbling and falling onto the blanket of snow in a sobbing and crying mess.

On his knees in the snow, Chanyeol clutched his face in his hands and cried cold freezing tears in the blizzard, his voice drowned out by the howling of the wind.

 

 

Baekhyun swore he heard Chanyeol crying out when he woke up, sore and hurting on the bed. Baekhyun quickly came to and recalled the events that led to him ending up there in the first place.

Baekhyun pushed himself off the bed and rubbed at his sore neck which stung under his touch. The belt was tossed aside on the bed beside him. Baekhyun grabbed the belt and quickly put it on, running it through the loops of his loose trousers.

Then, Baekhyun quickly ran out of the room to escape since he didn’t see Chanyeol anywhere. He believed that this was his chance.

Baekhyun ran down the mansion to the door leading to the garage, planning to make his escape from there since the driveway outside would take him to the front gate to leave the compounds.

Baekhyun was met with a harsh wind that hurt his face when he ran into the garage. There was snow blowing into the garage and beginning piling up on the floor too. The obvious and widely opened garage doors explained why this was possible but Baekhyun wasn’t down to question that anytime soon.

 

Baekhyun's vision was limited due to the strong blowing snow and the coat Baekhyun had on wasn’t really meant for standing and trudging outside for a long time in this kind of cold.

Baekhyun knew he had to get out and braved the snow despite not really knowing which direction he was really headed at.

Keeping his head low, Baekhyun threaded his way through the snow and harsh winds only to knock his knee and leg into something when he walked into what was another person crouched on the ground.

 

Baekhyun had not gotten very far and he could still see the mansion and garage within the blizzard. Baekhyun lost his balance and fell over on Chanyeol, whom he didn’t see there until now.

“Oh shit” Baekhyun swore under his breath, seeing Chanyeol look back at him, the both of them sitting on the snow-piled ground. Baekhyun quickly scrambled to get up when he saw Chanyeol but lost his balance again when Chanyeol grabbed onto his leg, sending Baekhyun tumbling back down onto the snow which softened his fall.

“What are you doing here!?” Chanyeol yelled over the howling wind, pulling Baekhyun by the arm to closely face him. “It’s dangerous here in this weather. Go back in! You might get yourself hurt.”

“Huh?” Baekhyun was even more confused now. Did the man who just assaulted him now expressed concern and worry over him?

 

Even in the middle of the blizzard, Baekhyun was beginning to question if what had happened earlier on was real or just his imagination, because Chanyeol was supposed to be a nice person and his friend, right?

Maybe Baekhyun did imagine it, which would explain Chanyeol’s behavior because friends weren’t supposed to hurt each other.

But the stinging pain on his neck and the throbbing pain he felt when the cold wind blew against his skin was clear evidence of what Chanyeol had done to him. There was no mistaking the pain because it was real.

 

“No. Get off of me. I’m leaving!” Baekhyun slapped Chanyeol’s hand away and attempted to get up on his feet and run.

Chanyeol too got up, probably even faster than Baekhyun and caught the smaller man in his arms.

Chanyeol hugged a puzzled Baekhyun tight, pressing Baekhyun’s face against his neck, “No. Don’t go out there. We’ll leave when the blizzard dies down.”

“What the fu-“Baekhyun was cut off midway when Chanyeol bent down to pick him up.

 

Chanyeol threw a trashing Baekhyun over his shoulders and carried him back into the garage, before setting him down on the floor and pressing the button to shut the garage doors.

Baekhyun quickly stood up, looking back at Chanyeol standing beside him on the cement garage floor, with his eyes round in confusion and bewilderment.

Now that the garage doors were shut in place, it was quieter and warmer but the howling of the wind outside was still heard from behind the walls.

“Are you alright?” Chanyeol asked, concerned.

“Of course not” Baekhyun stammered, not knowing if he felt scared or just confused. He wasn’t able to discern how he felt right now.

“Your neck looks hurt. Where else are you hurt? Is it bad? We can’t go out now but we can go to the doctor’s later if you want to-I’ll drive you there”. Chanyeol offered, sounding nervous and pretty shaken himself too as he held out a hand to touch Baekhyun’s neck.

“Are you for real now?” Baekhyun scolded, slapping away Chanyeol’s hand.

 

Chanyeol immediately pulled his hand back, now looking like he was the one who should be scared for his life among of the two.

Baekhyun began to laugh because he didn’t even know what was going on anymore. It wasn’t funny at all but he was so puzzled and distraught that his only reaction was to laugh at it.

Chanyeol snickered and then began laughing too alongside Baekhyun.

“Don’t laugh, psycho. Especially after what you did to me.” Baekhyun stated, irritated.

“What did I do?” Chanyeol asked, confused and looking like it.

“You don’t remember hurting me?” Baekhyun inquired, almost shocked at Chanyeol’s statement.

“I would never hurt you. You’re my friend”, Chanyeol confidently declared.

 

Baekhyun bit his lower lip in thought. If he wasn’t mistaken, he did hear Chanyeol saying that they weren’t friends earlier on before assaulting him, and now a contradicting statement was given out.

Baekhyun began to wonder if this was even the same Chanyeol from earlier on. The Chanyeol who hurt him had a different look in his eyes and the one standing in front of him now-resembled the Chanyeol he knew.

 

“I think I need to go back to my room” Baekhyun excused himself and ran back up to his room. He didn’t want to be around Chanyeol now.

“Do you need anything? Do you still want to go to the doctor’s later on?” Chanyeol asked, trying to catch up with Baekhyun.

“No! Leave me alone” Baekhyun yelled at Chanyeol, frustrated.

 

Chanyeol flinched and looked hurt when he was yelled at. Baekhyun could now see the dried blood stain running from Chanyeol’s earlobe down to this neck.  Baekhyun also saw the scared look in Chanyeol’s eyes and it made him feel angry.

It was him who was supposed to be scared and hurt right now, not Chanyeol. But why was Chanyeol acting like that? Why was Chanyeol acting like the one to be pitied here?

Baekhyun wasn’t the one who was strangled with a belt until he passed out-not once but twice even.

Baekhyun couldn’t tell anymore.

 

He no longer cared about being late for work and whatnot. Baekhyun slammed the door to his room-shut, making sure to lock the doors and double checking it.

Baekhyun fished for his phone within his coat pockets but when he found it, it was turned off and he couldn’t turn it on no matter how hard he tried-presumably not functioning after he was in the cold for quite a while.

Baekhyun had not yet had the chance to unpack all his belongings from the boxes, so he had to shift through several boxes of his items to look for his old laptop he swore he brought with him.

 

Baekhyun found it eventually and thanked heavens when he plugged the charger into the wall socket and it still worked. After connecting to the mansion’s Wi-Fi, Baekhyun quickly logged onto his social media account and messaged the only person he thought he could rely on.

That was Kyungsoo, his friend since high school whose couch he had been sleeping on for a few weeks until he moved in with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun quickly typed out a message to Kyungsoo:

_“If you don’t hear from me by tomorrow, can you call the police to the place I live in now? I think I’m going crazy but my roommate is a bit weird. There’s like two of him.”_

 

Baekhyun quickly hit “send” and waited for the “message received” icon before turning his laptop off and putting it aside.

The wind outside was blowing the branches of the tree outside his window, where the branches began to hit and tap against the glass panes.

Baekhyun was used to it by now and the loud noise drowned out the sounds of the floorboards outside his room, slightly creaking under the weight of someone walking and stepping on it.

 

Baekhyun didn’t expect to see the piece of the paper slide under his door either but he did anyway. There was supposed to be only one other person in this mansion other than him but right now, Baekhyun felt like that wasn’t the case.

Baekhyun too wasn’t really sure “which” Chanyeol was the one who had slipped this paper under his door.

Baekhyun crawled to the door because somehow he felt that it was safer than walking to the door.

Baekhyun quickly snatched the paper from the floor and cowered away to the side of his bed, unfolding the paper and reading what was written on it. Baekhyun’s face dropped and he felt like he was done with everything when he read what was on it.

There were only a few possibilities now. He was crazy or Chanyeol was crazy or maybe they both were. Baekhyun wasn’t sure which one exactly.

 

 


	3. III

 

Baekhyun spent the entire day waiting out the blizzard with a chair pushed under the doorknob of his room’s door so it was harder to unlock from outside. Baekhyun locked himself in his room for the entire morning even after receiving the note from Chanyeol telling him to come out because they were friends.

Were they really? Baekhyun couldn’t tell if it was just him seeing things or if it really was Chanyeol doing all this to him.

 

Baekhyun kept quiet and waited for the blizzard to pass so he could finally leave. The morning passed to noon and the blizzard died down. Baekhyun was way too late for work now, he was sure he already had an infraction waiting for him when he got back to work tomorrow.

Two more infractions and Baekhyun would be out of a job.

Baekhyun wasn’t convinced that he could leave yet. He wanted to wait until he was sure that Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to stop him from leaving before making the run for it. Baekhyun then planned to do it around night time.

 

 

He couldn’t even use the blizzard as an excuse to tell his manager because that snarky middle-aged man was super insensitive and would still make you come to work even if someone close to you had just passed away. There was no room for tolerance when it came to Baekhyun's manager. 

Baekhyun emailed his manager anyway and also saw that Kyungsoo had not replied to his message yet. Kyungsoo was probably in class or at work. Baekhyun was really counting on Kyungsoo to see that message because it could probably mean life or death for him.

 

 

Baekhyun entered the washroom attached to his room and stared into the mirror hung on the wall. The bruise around his neck was still a pinkish-red in color and sore to the touch. Baekhyun tried poking at it with a finger and flinched, hissing from the pain.

Fuck Chanyeol, Baekhyun cursed. If it was a small bruise, he could just pass it off as something else and put a band-aid on it but this was just plain obvious that he was strangled.

He would have to use a scarf even indoors to hide this because he had to wear the work uniform t-shirt while working, which exposed his neck for everyone to see. At least dress codes at work weren't strict so he could probably get away with it.

 

 

Baekhyun was tired from everything that happened that day, so he went to take a nap. He needed that energy if he planned to run away later on.

He was so paranoid about Chanyeol entering his room that Baekhyun pulled his pillow and blankets to the floor so he could sleep facing the door, and easily tell if anyone walked past his room or tried to get in while he was asleep.

He heard no more signs of Chanyeol that day, however.

Baekhyun was so exhausted that he fell asleep almost instantly, and the nap felt like one of the best he ever had in his life. Falling asleep in class in school came second.

 

 

When Baekhyun got up from his nap, it was already dark outside and it was just lightly snowing. Baekhyun rushed to his laptop and saw that Kyungsoo had replied his message.

Kyungsoo sounded concerned in the message and would be coming to Baekhyun’s workplace early in the morning tomorrow, and if Baekhyun wasn’t there, he would be calling the police.

Baekhyun sighed in relief. He just needed to brave out another night in the mansion and leave early the next morning. If that failed too, at least he knew that he should be alright since Kyungsoo would be calling the police.

 

 

 

Halfway through the night, Baekhyun changed his mind about leaving early next morning. For the rest of the day, Baekhyun hadn’t heard any footsteps in the hallway outside his room, knowing that Chanyeol had to pass Baekhyun’s door to get to his own room at the end of the hallway.

Baekhyun assumed and gambled on the possibility that Chanyeol had been cooped up in his room the entire day like he presumably always did.

Baekhyun packed all the things he thought he would need into his backpack. He couldn’t take everything with him because it would weigh him down and he had planned to escape light. He just needed what was necessary for now.

 

 

Baekhyun left the lights on his room to give the illusion that he was there. Baekhyun slowly and quietly unlocked his door and stepped into the hallway, being light on his toes as much as possible and walking alongside the walls where the floorboards creaked less, hence making less noise.

Baekhyun took a moment to glance over his shoulder to look at Chanyeol’s door down the hallway. It was quiet. There were no noises coming from it. Baekhyun felt somewhat safer but then again his standards of being “safe” around Chanyeol were already pretty low since this morning.

 

When Baekhyun reached the stairs, he sped up and began his descent to the first floor. He had one hand on the railings to keep his balance and his eye on his scuffling feet to make sure he didn’t trip over, considering how fast he was going.

This was the second time Baekhyun cursed the mansion for being so big because even the stairs was a long way down. Living in such a large place was beginning to lose its appeal, even if it had been his childhood dream to live in a big home.

 

Baekhyun barely even looked ahead, his eyes fixed on the steps instead which resulted in him bumping into someone’s chest.

Who could it be other than Chanyeol, of course? But even now, Baekhyun felt like there was two of Chanyeol and he wasn’t sure which one he had bumped into.

Well, shit, Baekhyun thought, he was wrong about Chanyeol being locked up in his room.

 

“I’m sorry. Are you alright?” Chanyeol apologized, steadying Baekhyun by holding him on the shoulders, stopping the smaller man from tripping on the stairs.

“Uh…” Baekhyun gaped, pausing to find the right words to say. He couldn’t say that he was running away right now because he was afraid of “that” Chanyeol getting angry. Baekhyun had almost reached the bottom of the stairs

“Where are you going in the middle of the night? It’s late and it’s cold outside. I was just outside to shovel snow away from the driveway so you don’t want to be out there. It’s freezing.” Chanyeol warned.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Baekhyun lied, and he was indeed bad at it. It was plainly obvious that he was fully dressed to go outside and had a backpack to boot. He really did look like someone with the intention to leave.

“Well then, do you want to have dinner? You haven’t eaten anything yet, did you?” Chanyeol further asked.

 

Baekhyun felt cornered and he probably was at that point anyway. This Chanyeol in front of him had a soft look in his eyes and he was wearing a light colored sweater. This Chanyeol also did not question him further through the obvious lie he had given, which would have made anyone else suspicious.

This was “safe” Chanyeol in Baekhyun’s head while the one who had strangled him earlier on was “dangerous” Chanyeol.

But there was only one-way Baekhyun could differentiate between this safe and the dangerous one.

“Hey, are we friends?” Baekhyun blurted out. The answer would determine Baekhyun’s next action.

Chanyeol chuckled, “Of course, we are. Is there any reason we are no longer friends?”

“You said I wasn’t…” Baekhyun replied meekly.

“I didn't say that. I would never say that, Baekhyun. You are my friend.” Chanyeol smiled wide, exposing his teeth.

 

Even from the way Chanyeol spoke and the body language he gave out, Baekhyun felt like there was no reason to be suspicious of this Chanyeol. He actually felt relieved and like he could finally relax when he was around with this Chanyeol, especially considering how on edge Baekhyun had been for the rest of the day.

But Baekhyun was sure he didn’t imagine being assaulted and the pain on his neck lingered as evidence of that.

Now, he was more curious than anything else.

“Yeah sure. We can have dinner, I guess?” Baekhyun wasn’t too sure himself and probably thought he would regret not leaving later on.

He did have some kind of insurance after all. In the worst scenario where dangerous Chanyeol appeared again and preventing him from leaving, at least he knew that there would be cops on the front door the next morning.

Chanyeol beamed, looking happy, “Of course. We’ll have dinner now. Let’s go.”

 

 

Baekhyun expected dinner to be solemn and quiet but it was quite to the contrary. Chanyeol was merry and joyful. Chanyeol kept asking Baekhyun questions about which movies they should watch next time and even talked about new gaming consoles they should get so they could play games together.

Chanyeol sounded excited, eager and had a childlike enthusiasm towards the whole conversation, while Baekhyun tried his best to answer Chanyeol’s question and pretend like he wasn’t scared the shit out of his pants.

There was even a sparkle in Chanyeol’s eyes when he talked. It was hard for Baekhyun to believe that this was the same man who had hurt him, hence, his theory that there were actually two of Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun almost jumped off his chair when Chanyeol accidentally knocked over a salt shaker on the table.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol looked concerned; placing a hand on Baekhyun’s when he saw how surprised Baekhyun was.

Baekhyun dryly chuckled, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Baekhyun himself wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth now.

“I’m sorry for scaring you like that.” Chanyeol apologized, holding Baekhyun’s on the table.

“Sure…” Baekhyun forced an awkward smile and pulled his hand away from Chanyeol. Things were really confusing.

There was no way this nice man was the same one who had been strangling earlier this morning.

 

 

After dinner, Baekhyun helped Chanyeol clear up the dishes and sweep the dining room as they usually would be splitting up the chores.

Even if it was for a slight moment, Baekhyun almost forgot about what had happened that morning because of how “normal” everything seemed like now.

This wasn’t really different from when he used to live with his mother and step-father. One minute they would be angry and be throwing things at him, and the other minute they would be making jokes and laughing alongside him. But they never tried to strangle him till he passed out either so there was that.

 

While Baekhyun was arranging the dishes on the rack, he heard Chanyeol walk up and stand beside him. Baekhyun felt Chanyeol standing beside him but he couldn’t see Chanyeol’s face.

“Does your neck still hurt?” Chanyeol inquired.

“-just a little” Baekhyun brushed it off. It made him uncomfortable to talk about it.

“Did he hurt you?” Chanyeol’s voice dropped.

Baekhyun fixed the last plate onto the dish rack and gulped, refusing to face Chanyeol because he was scared that the one looking back at him would be a different person.

“Tell me, Baekhyun” Chanyeol’s voice was calming and soft, not showing any hints of anger and aggression.

But it still scared Baekhyun, so he lied, “No, it’s alright. The pain doesn’t bother me.”

Chanyeol moved to the fridge and pulled out an ice pack before handing it to Baekhyun. “Here take it. Put it around your neck.”

“Thanks” Baekhyun lightly uttered, taking the cool ice pack from Chanyeol into his own hands.

“Let me know if you need help or anything else. We’re friends, aren’t we?” Chanyeol smiled.

“Yes, we are.” Baekhyun hung his head low to avoid Chanyeol’s gaze. It was hard for him to look at Chanyeol now.

“Are you going to work tomorrow? Let me know so I can wake up early to drop you off at work” Chanyeol informed.

 

Baekhyun was then suddenly reminded of the message he had sent to Kyungsoo. If he didn’t go in to work tomorrow, Kyungsoo would be calling the police to come to the mansion to arrest Chanyeol.

Baekhyun felt awful and a pang of guilt if the Chanyeol in front of him right now would be arrested tomorrow, because this Chanyeol was nice and undeserving of that, Baekhyun believed. He couldn’t say the same for the “dangerous” Chanyeol however.

“Yes, I will go to work tomorrow.” Baekhyun quickly replied before Chanyeol left the kitchen.

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning then. Goodnight, Baekhyun.”

“Goodnight” Baekhyun waved off Chanyeol.

 

When Baekhyun was alone in the kitchen, he slumped onto the floor with his back pressed to a cabinet and dropped the ice pack. Baekhyun held his head in his hands and began dryly sobbing.

He wasn’t sad. If he could properly put a name to how he felt, it was probably relief. Things were normal after all and Baekhyun tried so hard to believe that statement and ignore everything else that said otherwise.

Baekhyun just wanted things to be okay. This was supposed to be a new start and progress in his life after all. Baekhyun didn't want to have to turn around and regress back to where he came from. 

Baekhyun hoped that that wasn't the case.

 

 

 

The next morning, Baekhyun was already waiting in the garage with the doors wide open when Chanyeol got there. Baekhyun had a scarf on which he planned to keep wearing for the rest of the day too. He also wore trousers that did not require a belt, still being scared and not wanting yesterday’s events to be repeated again.

Everything went as planned and Chanyeol was nice today too like he usually was.

 

“Well, have a good day then,” Baekhyun told Chanyeol when they had pulled up in front of Baekhyun’s work building. Baekhyun had his hand on the door handle and was about to open it so he could alight from the car.

“Wait” Chanyeol held onto Baekhyun’s arm, leaning towards the passenger seat beside him so he could adjust the scarf around Baekhyun’s neck. “Don’t take this off when you’re around other people, alright?”

“I won’t.” Baekhyun felt like he was being pressured by Chanyeol, but he had not wanted other people to know about the marks on his neck anyway.

“You have a good day at work too. I’ll pick you up around seven.” Chanyeol slowly released the grasp he had on Baekhyun’s arm.

“Yeah, at seven,” Baekhyun repeated, alighting from the car and walking into the office building without even turning back until he entered the building.

 

 

Baekhyun was scolded by his manager that day indeed for missing work yesterday and received one infraction as a result of it. Two more and he would be jobless.

Baekhyun barely cared about that because there were two other things he worried about now. The both of his worries being Chanyeol.

 

 

Kyungsoo visited Baekhyun at work like he had said he would. Baekhyun went out to the front reception area to talk to Kyungsoo, having slipped out from the storeroom he worked at without his manager know about it.

“What was that about? I was so close to calling the police if I didn’t see you at work today. You scared me there and why haven’t you been answering my calls or texts?” Kyungsoo scolded.

“My phone is broken. That’s why I had to message you on social media.” Baekhyun scratched his cheek.

“Nevermind that. Are you alright? What is really going on? What’s up with your roommate. What do you mean by there’s two of him?” Kyungsoo barraged Baekhyun with questions. “Also, why are you wearing a scarf indoors?”

“Uh…fashion?” Baekhyun adjusted the scarf on his neck, wearing it above the work t-shirt. “I’m fine. Everything is alright. I just panicked yesterday so I sent you that message. Everything is good.” Baekhyun lied straight through his teeth. Things weren’t fine.

“Panicked!? About what? What did he do to you?” Kyungsoo raised his voice, expressing utmost concern for Baekhyun.

“My roommate just had an outburst of anger and I got scared. He just seemed different then which is why I said that. It’s not like he was mad at me or anything so everything’s good” Baekhyun tried to make light of the situation by lying further.

“Really?” Kyungsoo arched an eyebrow.

“Yes, really.” Baekhyun nodded, acting as convincing as possible. “You know how I overreact and dramatize stuff. I just had that moment again.” Baekhyun even smiled.

Kyungsoo sighed, “I’m glad everything is alright but you really worry me, Baekhyun. You always have since high school because of how reckless you are.”

“Well, that’s what friends are for” Baekhyun chuckled.

Kyungsoo shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, “We aren’t kids anymore, Baekhyun. I know you’re slowly getting back on your feet since you had that fight with your step-father and got kicked out of your home but try to be serious about things next time.”

“I will, I promise,” Baekhyun promised Kyungsoo but he wasn’t sure if he could keep that promise.

“You really are alright there, are you? Is everything okay?” Kyungsoo had to make sure.

“Yeah. Everything is fine. My roommate is a very nice person and he’s my friend too now.” Baekhyun smiled. Technically, he wasn’t really lying about that at all but things were very gray.

“Fine then. Fix your damn phone so I contact you and let me know if you need anything.” Kyungsoo told Baekhyun before bidding goodbye and leaving.

 

 

Baekhyun thought that he would have been able to tell Kyungsoo about what really went on with Chanyeol, but in the end, he did not and had even lied about it. It was more difficult than he had expected and Baekhyun just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Baekhyun felt very bad about lying to his good friend, Kyungsoo, who was always there for him and had helped him through tough times when everyone else wouldn’t. Kyungsoo surely didn’t deserve to be lied to but Baekhyun was conflicted.

That was because Chanyeol was his friend too, or at least one of the Chanyeol was. He wasn’t sure about that other one.

Baekhyun had that itching desire to know what was really up with Chanyeol too, as dangerous as that sound. Kyungsoo really was right about Baekhyun being reckless.

 

 


	4. IV

 

Baekhyun had always disliked his job but he had to go to work nonetheless because he couldn’t afford to be unemployed. He was already living paycheck to paycheck, unable to afford not even a cheap used car and he had put down a few months of rent as down payment for moving into the mansion with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun was scared to even ask for a refund or to cancel the lease agreement which would only end in more than ten months from now.

It wasn’t going to stop him from leaving the mansion if he really wanted to and had to, but Baekhyun thought it would be nice to at least get his money back.

 

Baekhyun sighed, arranging the boxes on the shelf at work to be sent out for the next shipment. He was scared for his life to be at home but when he looked up funeral costs, Baekhyun discovered that he couldn’t afford that either.

“If only I was a cute girl, maybe I could find a sugar daddy or something but I’m just a skinny guy”, Baekhyun muttered to himself, tearing off cellophane tape with his teeth to seal a box.

Baekhyun lifted the heavy box onto the shelf and when he had set it down; he swore he heard something cracking in his hip, followed by a dull but irritating pain near his lower waist.

“Ugh” Baekhyun groaned, placing a hand on his back where it hurt.

 

Baekhyun had troubles bending down and getting up for the rest of the day, but his job involved moving and lifting around things, making it a hindrance for him. Baekhyun wanted to be excused for the rest of the day but knowing his manager, he would probably be forced to work anyway even if he pointed out his problem.

Baekhyun tried to do the bare minimum and avoid his manager as much as he could but he was caught dropping a box with a “fragile” label when his hands slipped, unable to handle the pain in his waist.

Baekhyun begged to not have his paycheck deducted from his mistake, but ended up with another infraction, that being the second one he got within the span of a week.

Baekhyun had been working there for almost two years and he had never gotten a single infraction, not until the whole deal with Chanyeol. And when he did, he got two within such a short time.

 

 

 

Life at home wasn’t any better either. Baekhyun was always on alert, cautious and walking on eggshells around Chanyeol. He carefully watched what he said or did, afraid that he might trigger the dangerous Chanyeol to come out.

Baekhyun wasn’t exactly sure what would exactly trigger Chanyeol, so he had to be wary of even making a single step.

Despite that, Chanyeol was his usual friendly self and Baekhyun felt relieved whenever Chanyeol said they were friends. That statement was the only key that Baekhyun had between which Chanyeol was safe to be around with or not.

But he hadn’t exactly seen that other dangerous Chanyeol since then. Baekhyun wanted to dismiss it as a onetime thing but even Chanyeol mentioned something about a “he”, hinting at someone else other than him.

Chanyeol knew something but he wasn’t telling Baekhyun about it, Baekhyun was sure out of it.

 

 

That night, Baekhyun was washing the dishes as it was his turn to do so again, while Chanyeol would wipe and tidy up. Dinner earlier on was just fine. Baekhyun didn’t talk much but Chanyeol did.

Baekhyun’s waist really hurt and when he bent over to place a plate back onto the shelf above him, his hands slipped like they did at work and he dropped the plate into the sink where it loudly shattered into pieces of broken ceramic.

Baekhyun froze, looking down at the sink below him and the remnants of the broken plate in it. He wasn’t really worried about the plate. He was more worried about himself and how Chanyeol would react to this.

He was scolded for dropping things at work and he expected the same treatment at home.

 

Instead, Baekhyun had a worried Chanyeol rushing up to him and pushing him by the shoulders, away from the sink. That was sort of expected and unexpected at the same time.

“Are you alright? Did you get hurt?” Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s hands to inspect it.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. My hand slipped. It was an accident, I swear.” Baekhyun apologized, pulling his hands back to himself and moving to the sink to clear up the mess he made.

“No” Chanyeol firmly announced, lightly pushing Baekhyun away from the sink. “I’ll clean it up. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Baekhyun stepped back as he was told until he felt his lower back grazing against the kitchen counter, “You really don’t want to get me hurt?” Baekhyun repeated, feeling the irony of the statement.

His bruise was fading but he when he heard Chanyeol say that, Baekhyun could feel a metaphorical pain around his neck again and the feeling of helplessness that he had experienced when he just had no strength to fight back against Chanyeol despite how hard he tried.

 

“Of course, I wouldn’t hurt you. We’re friends” Chanyeol replied with his back turned to Baekhyun, picking up the pieces of the ceramic shards in the sink and tossing it into a garbage bag in his other hand.

Chanyeol had said that a few too many times now, but Baekhyun still needed to hear it.

Baekhyun opened his mouth to ask Chanyeol a question about “him”; that other person whom Baekhyun had declared as dangerous Chanyeol but Baekhyun held his tongue instead, choosing to stay silent instead.

 Because even though this Chanyeol was safe, Baekhyun didn’t feel like he was.

“Chanyeol, your hands are bleeding!” Baekhyun exclaimed the obvious, tearing a few pieces of kitchen towels from the roll and handing it to Chanyeol.

“Oh” Chanyeol finally noticed, putting down the garbage bag on the floor and taking the sheets of kitchen towel from Baekhyun.

“Be careful. You’re not supposed to pick those up with your bare hands.” Baekhyun advised, handing more kitchen towels to Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol pressed the kitchen towels onto his cut fingers to absorb the blood. He had also unknowingly wiped his hands on his light yellow sweater and smeared blood on the front.

Upon closer inspection, Baekhyun noticed that Chanyeol had rather scarred hands too, and he was reminded of when he found Chanyeol standing in the kitchen that one night with bloodied hands. Baekhyun also remembered the chilling scraping sounds he heard on Chanyeol’s door that one night.

“I guess I wasn’t thinking much and just went ahead to do it.” Chanyeol chuckled, making light of the situation.

Baekhyun too chuckled but only because it was so ironic to hear Chanyeol make such statements. Baekhyun thought that Chanyeol was probably just too used to hurting his own hands that picking up ceramic shards with bare hands was no big deal at all.

 

Baekhyun ended up helping Chanyeol clear the mess in the sink, which was his fault anyway in the first place.

“I’ve noticed that you don’t look too well today. Your face scrunches up sometimes like you’re in pain. Are you really alright?” Chanyeol inquired, standing beside Baekhyun over the sink.

“Yeah, I injured my waist while I was at work. I have to lift those heavy boxes and stuff.” Baekhyun was spraying water into the sink to drain and clear the fine pieces of ceramic shards which were too small to pick up and locate.

“Do you want to see a doctor tomorrow for your waist? I’ll drive you there” Chanyeol offered and asked, leaning sideways against the counter and shifting his weight on one leg.

“I don’t have medical insurance so I can’t afford to see one,” Baekhyun answered, flatly, turning the hose off and putting it back in place.

“I’ll pay for you then.”

“No thank you but I think I’ll live”, Baekhyun responded sarcastically, also not wanting to be further indebted to Chanyeol. “To be honest, I am actually surprised that you noticed I have a problem.” Baekhyun lightly muttered under his breath.

“Well then. Let me know if you change if your mind. It pays to be observant” Chanyeol grinned.

Baekhyun pretended to smile too and looked away because it started to make him uncomfortable even if he wanted to believe that everything was fine now.

Because Baekhyun was a bad liar and he couldn’t lie to himself about feeling safe either.

 

 

 

Baekhyun barely slept for the next few nights. He rolled over, tossed and turned in bed as he tried to find a comfortable position for his injury. Even when he found a sleeping position which he thought would work, his waist would start acting up and feeling sore.

It didn’t help that work was the same as ever, not giving him enough rest or decreasing the strain he put on his waist daily. It was probably making things worse as it is.

 

Baekhyun now regretted not taking Chanyeol’s offer to go to the doctor but when he thought about it thoroughly, maybe it was good that he turned it down anyway.

The last thing Baekhyun wanted to do now was feel like he owed Chanyeol because it would make things harder for him if he had to leave.

 

While rolling around in bed again that night, Baekhyun innately cursed himself for not falling asleep yet because it was late and he would be dozing off at work tomorrow for sure. Baekhyun wasn’t sure that he really deserved these kinds of challenges.

Baekhyun gave up going to sleep and pulled out his laptop from the drawer he placed it on, before plugging it into the socket near his bed so he could stay in bed while on the laptop.

 

Baekhyun had never been the type of person to stalk other people online or look up their social media accounts especially if they never told Baekhyun to specifically look them up. He didn’t feel too comfortable about people doing it to him, hence him preferring to not do such things either even if everything was already up there on the internet.

Baekhyun really was curious about Chanyeol though and his “odd” behavior or why he felt like there was two of him.

Baekhyun wanted to believe that he was imagining things but the fading bruise still lingered on his neck, being evidence of being strangled, and Chanyeol had a healing scab on his ear where Baekhyun was sure he bit down on.

 

Baekhyun was afraid to tell people of his broken family situation and why he was kicked out from home in the first place. That being why he never bothered to ask Chanyeol much about the latter’s background too, for fear of the question being turned at him too.

Baekhyun only knew that Chanyeol was some rich kid whose parents had passed away and left him a lot of money and the mansion and that he had a sister with whom he was estranged with.

 

Baekhyun typed in “Park Chanyeol” into the internet browser search form together with the name of the city they lived in.

Baekhyun scrolled through a few results of people with the same name in the city, mostly being business profiles and none of them being the Chanyeol he knew.

Baekhyun fixed his search by typing in Chanyeol’s name together with the city they lived in and adding the prefix “school”.

 

One of the first few search results was a slideshow that had been uploaded to a file hosting and sharing website. Chanyeol’s name was in the slideshow together with a few others that Baekhyun did not recognize.

Baekhyun clicked on it and found out that the slideshow was for a high school class project from about nine years ago, based on the date on the slideshow. Chanyeol’s name was listed on “group members” but Baekhyun wasn’t sure yet if that was the Chanyeol he was looking for.

But the timing did make sense. Baekhyun didn’t know how old Chanyeol was exactly, assuming him to be in his mid-twenties and that it was highly possible for Chanyeol to be in high school around nine years ago.

 

From the slideshow, Baekhyun obtained the class and school’s name and searched up Chanyeol’s name together with the name of the school and specific class.

Baekhyun’s face dropped and the color in his face ran when the first result popped up on his screen.

It was that of a school shooting which happened in the same school in the same year that was listed on the slideshow, the date of the shooting being just about two months after the one on the slideshow.

 

Baekhyun remembered hearing about this on the news then but he was living in another city quite far away at that time, so it didn’t affect him too much.

There were more and detailed articles about the shooting which Baekhyun found when he searched up the specific event.

Baekhyun also found out about a class where everyone was killed, except for a single student. The shooter was supposed to be from this same class but ended up committing suicide before he was apprehended by the authorities.

The names of the culprit and victims were put up but the survivors’ names had not been released to the public for privacy reasons.

Baekhyun couldn’t find further evidence that the specific Park Chanyeol he knew had been to that school. For all he knew, it could have been someone else with the same name.

 

Baekhyun emailed Kyungsoo the articles he found together with the message: “I think this is my roommate. Do you know anything?”

Baekhyun stared at the screen for a few minutes, hoping for a reply, only to realize that it was almost one in the morning and that Kyungsoo was definitely asleep by now. Baekhyun had honestly forgotten how late it was and that he was

“He’ll see it tomorrow,” Baekhyun told himself and turned off his laptop, putting it away on the table beside his bed and went back to sleep or at least attempt to.

 

 

Baekhyun found a somewhat okay sleeping position by lying down on his good side and curling himself up. It wasn’t perfect but it would have to do.

Baekhyun was slowly drifting off to sleep when he heard the tapping sounds again. The sounds slightly startled him and woke him up, but he quickly dismissed it, knowing that it was just the branches of the tree outside his window and closed his eyes again to return to sleep.

As Baekhyun was trying to go back to sleep, he suddenly realized that the sounds were not coming from his window. His eyes shot wide open but he remained unmoving, staying still on the bed.

 

The sounds were coming from behind the wall, supposedly from the room beside Baekhyun’s. But nobody was supposed to be staying in the room to the left and right of Baekhyun. The rooms were unoccupied and supposed to be empty. Even Chanyeol’s room was three more doors away and far away at the end of the hall.

Baekhyun swore he saw a rat once or twice running on the banisters, which wasn’t a surprise considering how old the mansion was.

Assuming that it was just probably a rat, Baekhyun closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

 

Then, the shrilling sounds that made him shiver were heard. The sounds were faint but sharp and piercing.

It was the sound of nails being scrapped on walls, but only this time they didn’t come from Chanyeol’s room but the room beside his instead.

It was eerier to hear it now so close to him, especially after what had happened between himself and Chanyeol previously.

Baekhyun pretended to be asleep but he couldn’t lie to himself about that either, because even after the sounds stopped and ceased to return, Baekhyun was still awake even when his usual morning alarm rang to tell him to wake up.

It was just that he had been awake all along because he was too frightened to go back to sleep.

 

 

 

Baekhyun quickly got up when he heard his alarm rang and immediately dressed for work without bothering to shower. Eating breakfast at home that morning was out of the question since Baekhyun always bought his breakfast from the food cart at work anyway.

Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol got up around the same time as him to drop Baekhyun off at work, so he wanted to be early and already waiting in the garage with the doors wide open. If anything happened then, he could just easily run out to get help.

Baekhyun had to be very cautious because he only trusted one Chanyeol and not the other. The rush kept him wide awake even from the sleep deprivation from last night.

 

“Hey, Chanyeol, we’re friends are we?” Baekhyun found himself asking when Chanyeol stepped into the garage that morning.

“Of course we are” Chanyeol smiled warmly, holding the car keys in his hand and pressing the remote to unlock the car doors.

Baekhyun chuckled dryly, “That’s good.”

 

Baekhyun noticed that Chanyeol’s hands were bandaged and he tried hard to not stare at it during the drive to work, especially when Chanyeol’s arm brushed against his thigh when Chanyeol was shifting the gear.

When Baekhyun tried to sneak in a quick glance, it seemed like Chanyeol always caught him and smiled back at Baekhyun. Baekhyun had to smile awkwardly

Baekhyun was really tempted to look because he couldn’t make out much from just peering at the corner of his eye. Then, there was also that itching question he wanted to ask but could not, about the school shooting news he read of.

If that really was Chanyeol’s school, it would have been a heavy and difficult topic for him to talk about. Baekhyun realized that and didn’t want to be insensitive, choosing to withhold his silence.

 

 

 

At work, Baekhyun struggled to stay awake through his shift. He wasn’t in the right state to be operating the forklift to move around the crates but he couldn’t say no when he was ordered to do so by his manager.

Baekhyun’s manager was a control freak with a power trip problem and Baekhyun knew better than to say no to him.

The double espresso from the vending machine only kept him awake for so long. Baekhyun had gone to the washroom too many times now to wash his face that he was beginning to appear suspicious and off.

 

Baekhyun dozed off behind the wheel while operating the forklift and was startled awake by his co-workers loudly shouting at him to stop. Baekhyun braked just in time before running over his manager, merely missing him by a foot or two.

Baekhyun looked on ahead like a deer in headlights at his manager, whose face was red and booming with anger.

“I’m fired, am I?” Baekhyun was afraid to say.

“Get out!!” The manager was too calm in telling him that.

Baekhyun knew then he had really fucked up.

Maybe he did deserve that or maybe he didn’t too. Baekhyun had a lot of problems in his life and he was far from being settled down. He realized that but he was proud to own his mistakes and not blame his misery on others.

 

Baekhyun hung his head low, walked to the administration office to pick up his last paycheck and called a taxi to get him home because he didn’t want to call Chanyeol to pick him up earlier than usual because he had been fired.

“I’m home,” Baekhyun told no one in particular when he walked through the heavy mahogany doors since Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen or heard.

It was still daylight and Baekhyun was often not home when it was still bright outside. He had almost forgotten how dark it was inside during the day especially with the curtains drawn shut.

There hadn’t been snowfall in the past few days and not much of a pile on the ground either but Chanyeol still kept the curtains drawn to block light from outside.

 

Baekhyun threw his bag onto his bed and undressed, throwing away the work uniform t-shirt into his hamper. At least it could come handy as a rag later on since he didn’t have to use it anymore.

Baekhyun changed into his casual clothes and texted Kyungsoo with his newly fixed phone: ”Hey, I got fired lol”

Kyungsoo had not read the email that Baekhyun had sent last night, so he quickly followed up with a text saying: “I sent you an email. Remember to read it.”

 

 

 

Baekhyun then left his room and went down into the kitchen. On the way there, he heard no sounds coming from the direction of Chanyeol’s room.

Chanyeol was probably cooped up in his room again like he usually did, Baekhyun assumed.

 

 

At that point, Baekhyun was too distraught and stressed that he couldn’t care less about the suspicions and theories he had about Chanyeol. All that seemed uninteresting and tasteless now that he was facing unemployment, which he had long dreaded to happen.

The kitchen was dark too so Baekhyun turned the lights on there and drew the café style curtains window- open.

 

 

Baekhyun pulled out a wine bottle from the wine cooler and poured some into a mug. He couldn’t care less about formalities and wine glasses. He was going to drink it out of a dollar-store mug with comic characters printed on it for all that mattered.

Baekhyun began drinking while standing over the sink when he heard someone walk into the kitchen, who was none other than Chanyeol of course.

Baekhyun didn’t turn to look or greet Chanyeol, choosing to close his eyes and continue drinking.

 

“You’re home early” Chanyeol stated.

“I got fired” Baekhyun muttered in return.

“How did you get home?” Chanyeol asked, taking the mug from Baekhyun’s hands and staring at it, “You’re drinking at two in the afternoon?”

“I took a cab” Baekhyun grinned, feeling slightly buzzed.

“I see” Chanyeol hummed, then handing Baekhyun the entire wine bottle instead of giving the mug back to him. “Drink away I guess”.

“Okay. I will then,” Baekhyun absent-mindedly replied, chugging the wine straight from the bottle.

 

Chanyeol folded his arms against his chest, standing beside Baekhyun as he watched the shorter man drink.

Baekhyun hiccupped, handing the bottle back to Chanyeol, “I don’t want to drink anymore”

“No. Drink. You just got fired so try to forget about it” Chanyeol insisted, putting the bottle back in Baekhyun’s hands.

Baekhyun pressed his lips together, beginning to feel tipsy already, “I think I had too much”.

“No. You have not. Drink more.” Chanyeol continued to urge.

Baekhyun shook his head, refusing Chanyeol, and handing the bottle back to Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol sighed, taking the wine bottle, “-and I thought I wouldn’t have to do this. I wanted to be your friend, you know.”

“But we are friends-oh shit” Baekhyun snapped to the realization but he was getting more drunk by the minute as the alcohol was being absorbed into his system, causing his reactions to become slow.

Baekhyun played himself right into Chanyeol’s hands.

 

Chanyeol yanked Baekhyun’s head back by harshly pulling on his hair, tipping Baekhyun’s head back at a painful angle, as if Baekhyun’s waist didn’t hurt enough already. Baekhyun could only grip the edge of the sink in front of him, too drowsy to fight back.

Chanyeol poured the wine down Baekhyun’s throat into his mouth, forcing him to drink it. Baekhyun choked when he tried to resist, feeling the liquid beginning to choke him and flowing out of his nose.

Baekhyun gave in and had to drink if he didn’t want to choke.

Chanyeol tipped the bottle over until it was empty and threw it into the sink. The bottle was three-quarters full at the beginning and it was dry now.

 

Baekhyun blinked down at the sink in front of him, the front of his shirt stained and smelling like wine too.

“Please, I don’t want to die.” Baekhyun slurred, feeling like he would fall at any moment now. He was slowly losing it but the fear of alcohol poisoning set deep in him.

Chanyeol caught Baekhyun from falling over by hooking his arms under Baekhyun’s shoulders.

“Of course not. We’re not friends yet so let’s get to know each other, shall we? You can’t be dead for that, right?” Chanyeol whispered lowly, almost growing into Baekhyun’s ear.

 

Baekhyun looked back and saw that Chanyeol was wearing black. Baekhyun didn't deserve this one.

 

 


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains a brief scene of sexual assault

 

Baekhyun was awake still. He was sure he would pass out from ingesting that much alcohol, based on his binge-drinking experiences but he found himself stumbling on the line between being conscious and unconscious instead.

There was a heavy dense fog on his vision and mind. His reactions and awareness of the surroundings were rather slow and impaired, and so was his judgment.

 

But Baekhyun knew and felt it when Chanyeol lifted him over his shoulders. Baekhyun lost consciousness for a while, being drowsy as hell until he awoke again just shortly later.

But he was not fully awake either. Everything was hazy and a blur to him.

Sure, Baekhyun had been shitfaced drunk before especially on New Year’s celebration but as he recalled, those were done out of his will and he was usually somewhere safe around people he could trust to not take advantage of him while drunk.

Baekhyun always took for granted that because he was male, he was safe from those things.

He couldn’t trust this Chanyeol, Baekhyun realized that now.

 

 

Baekhyun roused, in a haze, finding himself still flung over Chanyeol’s shoulders as he was carried up the stairs.

Baekhyun groaned, mustering whatever he could manage in response, “Where are you taking me?”

That didn’t come out too audible either.

Surprisingly, Chanyeol actually responded, “Taking you back to your room of course.”

“I can get there myself” Baekhyun mumbled almost incoherently, trying to lift his hand and hit Chanyeol’s chest.

 

It was a mere brush against Chanyeol’s chest, however. Baekhyun was too weak and in a daze to properly fight back.

The whole house was spinning and even the ceiling seemed like it was moving and swirling. It pained him and gave him a terrible headache to look and keep his eyes open.

“Let me go” Baekhyun moaned, feeling his eyes drift shut again as the view of his bedroom door came into sight.

 

 

Chanyeol threw Baekhyun down onto the bed before locking shut the door and setting the chain lock in place, making the door unable to open from the outside.

Baekhyun landed on his back in a heap of unmade sheets and his clothes strewn on the bed. The top of his head landed just a few inches from the pillow above him.

The force of being thrown onto the bed did not wake Baekhyun up, but Chanyeol slapping Baekhyun’s cheek did the work.

 

“Time to wake up” Chanyeol cooed, firmly slapping Baekhyun’s cheek.

Baekhyun’s eyes slowly fluttered open, feeling heavy and drowsy as he was. Baekhyun groaned, seeing Chanyeol straddle him but not being able to muster a proper response to the situation.

Baekhyun tried shoving Chanyeol at the chest with arms that felt like jelly, but if he was no match for Chanyeol while sober, he wasn’t now either.

 

Chanyeol easily wrangled Baekhyun’s arms away from his chest.

Chanyeol reached to the side for a shirt that was on Baekhyun’s bed. Using the same shirt, Chanyeol wound it around Baekhyun’s wrists and tied them together tightly.

“Stop fighting, okay?” Chanyeol requested.

“No. What are you doing?” Baekhyun bit down on his tongue to keep himself awake but flinched when it got too painful.  He hated himself for being like this in a situation so dire.

Baekhyun only blamed himself for whatever that was happening around him at the moment.

 

“I don’t know. I just make this up as I go along but I really want to hurt you.” Chanyeol replied, looking down at Baekhyun with his hand caressing Baekhyun’s sore and reddened cheek.

With one hand, Chanyeol lifted Baekhyun’s arms and pressed the wrists down onto the bed above Baekhyun’s head.

Baekhyun squirmed under the weight, as much as he possibly could, grunting, “Let me go. Please don’t hurt me.”

“If we were friends, I wouldn’t want to hurt you either.” Chanyeol pressed down harder on Baekhyun’s wrists.

Baekhyun gasped at the pain from having his wrists harshly pressed and pinned down, especially at the angle his arms and elbow were.

 

It was a relief when Chanyeol finally let go of Baekhyun’s wrists but only to move his hands down to Baekhyun’s trousers and undo the buttons and zipper.

Baekhyun was unable to see what was going on down there but he felt Chanyeol’s hands working down on his pants.

Baekhyun’s eyes shot open and although his vision was hazy and spinning still, with all his strength left, Baekhyun sat up and pushed away at Chanyeol with his bound wrists.

 

It worked to an extent because Chanyeol was pushed aside, falling onto his back on the bed.

Baekhyun took the opportunity to get off the bed, only to fall down face flat on the floor.

His legs too felt like jelly now and he felt like he needed to grab the floor because the roof felt like it was spinning. His depth perception was severely impaired too now.

Every step he made felt like he was falling, plunging into an abyss with no end and the high possibility of hurting himself.

Baekhyun didn’t want to be hurt and he was very much afraid of the pain.

 

 

Chanyeol lurched onto Baekhyun on the floor and from behind, he pulled down Baekhyun’s undone pants, pulling it from beneath Baekhyun and tossing it aside.

Chanyeol growled, pushing Baekhyun over, “Where do you think you are going? I’m not done with you yet.”

Baekhyun was tossed over to lie on the floor on his back with his wrists still bound in front of him.

Baekhyun could taste the metallic taste of iron from the blood in his mouth. It was there because he had been biting down on his cheek and tongue, struggling to keep himself awake.

He couldn’t pass out now. If he did, there was no telling what this Chanyeol would do to him.

 

Baekhyun could feel the rush of cool air on his legs and the hair on his legs standing. It was only then that he realized his pants had been pulled off of him.

Baekhyun weakly struggled when Chanyeol pulled down his boxers and removed it from his legs.

All the while, Baekhyun kept telling Chanyeol no and that he didn’t want any of this. But Chanyeol didn’t seem to be listening.

 

Chanyeol hovered above Baekhyun, forcing Baekhyun to look at him by gripping hard and turning Baekhyun’s chin towards him.

Chanyeol shoved the boxers down Baekhyun’s mouth, forcing as much fabric as he could. There was a lot left hanging from Baekhyun’s mouth that didn’t fit in.

“No more biting” Chanyeol hissed, “That last time really hurt, I almost had to get my ear stitched.”

 

If Baekhyun was sober, he would probably laugh to hear that but now he just felt strangely drowsy and panicked at the same time.

It was a strange sensation but it wasn’t surprising considering the amount of alcohol he was forced to ingest.

Baekhyun tried hard to keep himself awake, even with the obtrusive boxers shoved down his mouth preventing him from biting his tongue and cheek to keep himself conscious from the pain.

Baekhyun resorted to lifting his neck up and slamming his head back down onto the floorboards.

 

This didn’t go unnoticed because Chanyeol promptly stopped Baekhyun, placing his hand down between Baekhyun’s head and the floor.

“Stop. Don’t do it!” Chanyeol yelled, looking alarmed and actually very concerned for a moment. It was as if Chanyeol didn’t want to see Baekhyun hurt himself.

Baekhyun would have spat in Chanyeol’s face now if it weren’t for the gag placed in his mouth. Everything was so contradicting anyway.

Baekhyun grunted, trying to wriggle and squirm away from Chanyeol as his body felt heavier and his vision becoming darker than hazy.

 

Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun up by the shirt and tossed him back down onto the bed on his back.

Chanyeol straddled Baekhyun, pushing him down hard on the shoulders until Chanyeol’s nails dug into the flesh on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

Chanyeol’s nails left a crescent and slowly beginning to bleed mark on Baekhyun’s shoulders.

Baekhyun whimpered from the pain but his voice was muffled from the boxers in his mouth. The nails on his shoulders really stung and he just wanted Chanyeol’s hands off of him.

 

Chanyeol’s hair was messed up and disheveled from the struggle. His once neatly combed hair fell over his face, covering his forehead and brushing against his eyes.

Despite being incapacitated by the alcohol, Baekhyun was putting up a fight and giving Chanyeol a harder time than imagined.

Even Chanyeol had to put in more effort than he thought he would have to at trying to keep Baekhyun down.

 

Chanyeol wedged a knee between Baekhyun’s thighs, forcing Baekhyun’s bare legs apart.

Baekhyun let out a muffled sound of protest, weakly trying to push his body away from Chanyeol despite it being near impossible especially under Chanyeol’s weight, who easily outweighed him.

 

Time wasn’t acting in Baekhyun’s favor. Before he would begin to sober up, he would be getting drunker as the alcohol was slowly absorbed into his bloodstream.

This was probably the limit of his tolerance. Baekhyun felt a myriad of emotions. He was sad, scared, euphoric and even drowsy.

He wasn’t sure if he was imagining things or if they were really happening to him.

 

Baekhyun felt the nails which were painfully digging on his shoulder move down to his legs, where the nails once more dug into the flesh on his naked thighs.

The sudden jolt of stinging pain kept him from passing out but it didn’t prevent him from losing consciousness. It only delayed the process.

And then, despite the pain in his thighs and the awful feeling of hands on places he didn’t want them to be, Baekhyun passed out with his head thrown back against the pillow.

 

 

 

When Chanyeol finally realized what he was doing, he found two of his fingers shoved and thrusting in Baekhyun’s ass, while Baekhyun himself was passed out drunk on the bed with a half-opened mouth and saliva drooling down his chin.

While two of the fingers on his left hand was as deep as the second knuckle within Baekhyun’s hole, Chanyeol found his right hand fisting his own hard erection, busy pleasuring himself.

 

Chanyeol felt disgusted and sick to the core of what he was doing, especially at the sight of Baekhyun laying below him half-naked and helpless to what was happening.

Chanyeol slowly removed his fingers from within Baekhyun, afraid to hurt Baekhyun even more than he already did.

 

These things happen often, where Chanyeol would suddenly “wake up” and find himself in a situation he didn’t even remember putting himself into.

And most of the time, the situation wasn’t pretty like this instance.

Chanyeol experienced gaps in his memory which he couldn’t explain. It felt like his mind blacked out for a period of a time and when it returned, he always somewhere else he didn’t recall going to doing something else he didn’t even remember he started.

 

Although Chanyeol hardly remembered what happened between those instances, he did know that the other Chanyeol who was awake then wasn’t a nice person at all.

 

                       

Chanyeol began to shake and tremble at the realization of what he had done to Baekhyun, his only friend.

Chanyeol never wanted to hurt Baekhyun but this was his entire fault. Chanyeol knew that he should have said something to Baekhyun about his condition. He should have never even opened his doors to have someone live with him either.

There was a reason people like him were better off alone even though Chanyeol didn’t want to be alone.

He just wanted to be like everyone else.

 

 

With care and ease, Chanyeol gently removed the boxers shoved in Baekhyun’s mouth. Chanyeol pulled up the blankets over Baekhyun’s unconscious body before getting off the bed and locking himself in the washroom attached to Baekhyun’s room.

Chanyeol felt ashamed for being hard still as he zipped his fly back up, painfully trying to tuck an erection back into his pants.

Chanyeol turned on the shower to the coldest setting it allowed him to and slumped down on the floor with his back to the tiled wall and his head between his hands as he heaved, and sobbed under the cold stream of water as if it wasn’t cold enough outside.

His clothes were drenched and wet with cold water, sticking uncomfortably to his skin and feeling heavy.

Chanyeol cried but after a while, he wasn’t sure which were his tears or the water flowing down from the shower. He was shaking but he wasn’t sure if he was just cold or if he was afraid.

 

Chanyeol knew that there was no way Baekhyun would still want to be his friend after this and he would be alone again in a mansion that felt so dead and consumed his soul by the day.

 

 

 

When Baekhyun came to, he found himself lying in sweat on his own bed with a throbbing headache that he could feel from his forehead to the back of his skull.

His mouth was dry and his throat sore and parched, desperate for a glass of water. Baekhyun felt utterly dehydrated.

There was also a stinging and sore pain in his ass but Baekhyun didn’t acknowledge that yet. There were more pressing issues at the moment.

 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure what time it was but he could see that it was daylight outside from the, from the light that seeped through the gap in his curtains.

Baekhyun didn’t remember drawing the curtains shut either. He always left it wide open.

He was partially thankful for that because it was dimly lit in his room, and the light would have just made his hangover headache even worse.

 

Baekhyun rolled over to his side and found Chanyeol sitting on a chair not far from the bed, beside the full-length mirror.

From the angle Baekhyun was looking at Chanyeol, he could see the back of Chanyeol reflected in the mirror. For a moment, Baekhyun thought that he was seeing two people.

 

Seeing Chanyeol, Baekhyun began to slowly recall what had happened to him and more specifically, what Chanyeol had done to him.

Baekhyun knew that he had to leave the room and the mansion too. He was done justifying Chanyeol and giving Chanyeol the benefit of doubt.

Baekhyun felt like an idiot already. He deserved this because of his own stupidity, he believed.

 

“You’re awake” Chanyeol noted, seeing Baekhyun trying to get off the bed.

Baekhyun didn’t answer, throwing the blankets off of him. The thermostat had been cranked up too high and it was getting hot and uncomfortable being under there.

Chanyeol too stood up, following suit with Baekhyun and approaching him near the edge of the bed.

“Where are you going?” Chanyeol asked, using his body to block Baekhyun from leaving.

“I’m going for a walk.” Baekhyun calmly stated, lying straight through his teeth.

“No, you’re lying. You want to leave me.” Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s arm. “You’re not even asking me why I’m in your room.”

“I know why you’re in my room. I don’t need an answer for that.” Baekhyun chuckled dryly, feeling the irony of the situation as he tried to wrangle his arm away from Chanyeol.

Chanyeol did not respond, merely grabbing on and holding onto Baekhyun’s arm tighter.

“Look. You have to let me go.” Baekhyun insisted, “I have to go to work.”

“You just got fired?”

“Then I need to go out to look for a new job. I can’t pay you the rent if I don’t have a job.” Baekhyun stated, firmly.

“You don’t need to pay rent anymore in that case. I have enough money so just stay here with me.” Chanyeol demanded.

“I don’t think I’m comfortable with that. Friends don’t hold each other hostage” Baekhyun finally managed to free his hand from Chanyeol’s grasp.

 

“Yeah, we’re friends” Chanyeol flatly responded almost monotonously, releasing his hold on Baekhyun’s arm.

“At least I’m friends with one of you” Baekhyun snarled, quickly grabbing his phone on the desk and his coat, looking very ready to leave.

“So you do know about it” Chanyeol stared off into space.

“I guess?” Baekhyun quickly buttoned up his coat and grabbed a pair of shoes before sprinting out the door with just his phone and wallet in hand.

 

Baekhyun felt safe for now because he was around safe Chanyeol. Baekhyun sort of trusted the safe Chanyeol to not hurt him while he was obviously trying to leave and lying about not doing it.

Chanyeol did not try stopping Baekhyun either, walking behind Baekhyun at a slower pace.

“Don’t leave me. Please stay.” Chanyeol begged a few steps behind Baekhyun on the stairs.

“No thanks” Baekhyun sassed, glancing over his shoulder momentarily to look at Chanyeol.

“Is it because I’m difficult? I’ll try my best to please you, I promise, so please don’t leave me.” Chanyeol followed up.

 

Baekhyun reached the garage and pressed the button to unlock the automatic doors, sending a rush of cold winter air circulating into the warm garage.

“Please don’t go” Chanyeol pleaded.

Baekhyun was taking long strides out of the garage while Chanyeol easily closed the gap between them with his long legs. Baekhyun was just plain ignoring Chanyeol at that point.

Chanyeol was just wearing a light brown sweater and jeans as he stepped out into the cold to follow Baekhyun, rather inadequately dressed for the weather as he threaded down the snowy pathway surrounded by dead trees and withered grass.

 

“Please stop! The more you say that the more it makes me feel bad for you” Baekhyun yelled, “You are a crazy man who should be locked up in an asylum. Moving in with you was a mistake.”

“So you’re leaving then. Where are you going to go?” Chanyeol exclaimed, “It’s not like you have anywhere to go!”

Baekhyun knew he shouldn’t be picking fights with Chanyeol and focus more on getting the hell out. He was out in the open in the pathway but it was a still way more down to the gate until he could really leave.

Baekhyun ignored Chanyeol and continued strutting down the path. The gate was in sight and he would be out very soon.

 

Chanyeol then caught onto Baekhyun’s arm, “You don’t have anywhere to go, Baekhyun. Where do you think you can go which doesn’t end up with you sleeping on a bench in a subway station to keep warm. Back to Kyungsoo? I wonder how long he’ll let you stay with him especially when his girlfriend doesn’t really like having you around. Back to your family who kicked you out for being gay? Especially after you punched your step-father and he threatened to lodge a police report if you ever showed your face around them? Do I need to remind you that you’re jobless now too and it would be harder for you to get a new one because you were terminated for negligence on your last job? That won’t look too good on a resume, would it?”

 

Baekhyun froze, looking back at Chanyeol with eyes round in horror. How did Chanyeol know all of this?

Sure, Baekhyun had told him some stuff just to keep a conversation going but not this and certainly not to this detail.

He was certain he never told Chanyeol about Kyungsoo or about his family or even why he lost his job. But yet, Chanyeol knew.

 

“You’re not the only one who knows a few things” Chanyeol hinted.

Baekhyun was utterly confused.

 

 


	6. VI

 

Baekhyun mustered up his courage and words despite his initial shock to Chanyeol knowing almost everything there was to know about him, especially the things he rarely if ever spoke of.

How Chanyeol knew and to which extent didn’t matter as much as leaving.

“I don’t care. I’m still leaving!” Baekhyun stressed, bellowing at the top of his voice, stomping on the snow and walking forward until he reached the large iron gates.

“You don’t have anywhere to go! Just stay here.” Chanyeol demanded, yelling back at Baekhyun.

“I don’t care if I have to sleep on a subway like you said I would. I’m pretty sure it’ll be better than staying with you here.” Baekhyun snarled in return.

Chanyeol took in a deep breath that was cold and almost hurt his lungs, because of how cold the air was outside, “Fine, then leave if you want.”

“Good riddance” Baekhyun jeered, swinging the gate open and leaving the mansion’s compounds.

“I know you’ll come back soon. You have to.” Chanyeol sounded almost threatening and foreboding as he announced it.

“You bet I will come back but only to get my things and I’m making sure I have the police with me when I do it,” Baekhyun yelled, slamming the iron gates shut in Chanyeol’s face.

 

Chanyeol stood behind the gates, watching Baekhyun walk away and leave without even turning to look back once.

And here, Chanyeol thought he had just found a friend. But like everyone else, they all left him one by one until it was just him.

But Chanyeol wasn’t really alone in his head either.

 

 

Baekhyun continued strutting down the pathway leading out of the vicinity and towards the main road. There was a bus stop a bit further down the road he could wait at.

Baekhyun didn’t care where he would go or where he would be ending up at. Anywhere was better than being with Chanyeol.

It wasn’t just Chanyeol either. Even the mansion creeped him out by just being there.

The weather grew chillier and colder as Baekhyun continued to wait for the bus, unsure of the bus’ timetable and schedule. Baekhyun wasn’t even sure if the bus still ran around this area anymore.

 There was no one but him there and he didn’t see other people around either. Then again, no one sane would be walking outside in this kind of weather.

 

Baekhyun decided to call Kyungsoo as a final ditch. Baekhyun dialed Kyungsoo’s number and waited, hoping that his best friend would be able to pick him up at the soonest time possible.

Kyungsoo did pick up the call after a few rings, “What’s up, Baekhyun?”

“Hey, Kyungsoo. Are you busy right now?” Baekhyun asked, hoping that wouldn’t be the case.

“No. I’m not. Class just finished for today and I have another hour before I have to go to my part-time job.” Kyungsoo informed over the phone.

“I see. Well then, can I ask you for a favor? Please?” Baekhyun tried hard to not sound so desperate because he really was at that point.

“What is it?”

“Can you pick me up? I told you my car is busted before, remember? I don’t have a ride so I’m at a bus stop but I don’t think the bus runs here anymore…uh, I’ll text you the address but I really need you to come here and pick me up as soon as possible.” Baekhyun revealed.

“Didn’t you just get fired too? What’s wrong? Where are you going? Doesn’t your roommate help drive you around now?” Kyungsoo threw various questions at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun sighed, “You see, I can’t do that. I’m trying to get away from my roommate so I can’t ask him for obvious reasons. I just need to get away from him. Please help me, Kyungsoo.”

“Why would you want to do that? What’s wrong?”

Baekhyun paced up and down in the bus stop, “I’ll explain later, alright. Please just come and get me.”

Kyungsoo was heard sighing over the phone, “Fine. Send me the address and I’ll be there.”

 

 

 

While waiting, Baekhyun had been looking at the road that led up to Chanyeol’s mansion. He was ready to sprint and flee from there if he ever saw Chanyeol come after home, especially after repeatedly telling Baekhyun not to leave.

Chanyeol never came of course.

 

Kyungsoo was there within half an hour. Baekhyun almost skipped in joy when he saw Kyungsoo’s car approaching and almost jumped inside the car out of excitement.

“So? Where do you want me to take you now? I mean, you called me out of nowhere saying you want to run away from your roommate so you have somewhere to go, don’t you?” Kyungsoo asked, turning to Baekhyun in the front passenger’s seat.

“Well” Baekhyun paused, “-the thing is, I don’t really have anywhere to go now.” Baekhyun gulped, a bit afraid to ask because he didn’t want to feel imposing.

“Why are you leaving anyway in that case? I thought you said that you were friends with that roommate of yours.” Kyungsoo further asked, driving away from the bus stop.

 

Baekhyun was relieved when the car rolled away and left the area. He felt much safer now.

“Didn’t you get all those emails about the articles which I sent to you? I’m telling you that he’s crazy! He’s a legit psycho with some split personality or something like that. They are like two of him, I swear-like a dead ringer or something like that.” Baekhyun wildly exclaimed.

“I was with you when you came to see around the mansion before you decided to rent there. That guy seems okay though.” Kyungsoo added.

“He’s only okay like half the time. The other half of the time he’s trying to kill me!” Baekhyun revealed.

“-kill you? What do you mean? Are you serious?” Kyungsoo had his eyes on the road but he looked slightly perplexed at Baekhyun’s statement.

“Yes! He tried to strangle me that one time and then he made me drink so much until I passed out and now my freaking ass is sore!” Baekhyun claimed.

“Uh…then why didn’t you go to the police if he really did all of that to you?”

“He seemed nice at first so I gave him the benefit of doubt. He looks like he couldn’t hurt a fly but he’s just a madman in disguise. I mean, you read the emails didn’t you?” Baekhyun clarified.

“Baekhyun, if this is really true then you have to make a police report so they can give you a medical checkup too. And about the articles you sent me. I don’t believe it is your roommate. You were just mistaken.” Kyungsoo informed.

“Fine. I’ll make a police report tomorrow. I just need to rest and clear my head from everything now.” Baekhyun caved into Kyungsoo’s request.

“Yeah, tomorrow or the maybe the day after sounds good. Who know…you might change your mind about it. You can’t lie to the police because it’ll cause you more trouble.” Kyungsoo whistled.

“You think I’m lying again aren’t you?” Baekhyun shot back.

“I didn’t say you were. I’m just being cautious for your own good, Baekhyun” Kyungsoo firmly stated. “You did lie to me about why you had to leave your home and I only found out after you have been staying with me for a week. You told me that your step-father hit you but you were the one who actually socked him in the jaw.”

Baekhyun slouched his shoulders forward, “I already apologized for that, okay? I was afraid you were going to turn me to the police like my step-father said he would.”

“I would never do that to you, alright?” Kyungsoo sighed, both hands on the steering wheel, “So, you don’t have a place to stay now, am I right?”

Baekhyun shook his head, “You’re right. Can I stay with you just for one night, please?”

“Fine. You can.” Kyungsoo gave in, then sighing, “I’ll handle Sojin, I guess, if she gets pissed.”

 

 

Baekhyun waited in the café where Kyungsoo worked part-time at, with just a cup of coffee for the next four hours, until it was time for Kyungsoo to get off work.

Baekhyun then followed Kyungsoo home. Kyungsoo lent Baekhyun the extra pillow and blanket for him to sleep on the couch, which he had used the last time he was also there.

Kyungsoo’s girlfriend, Sojin, was supposed to be home late that evening. As she was older than Kyungsoo and had a full-time job, Sojin paid a larger percentage of the rent and therefore made it so that she had a bigger say in the house than Kyungsoo did.

 And Sojin didn’t happen to like Baekhyun that much.

 

 

Baekhyun had fallen asleep on the couch by the time Sojin came home and found him there. Lucky for Baekhyun, Kyungsoo had been waiting for Sojin and immediately approached her before she could go ballistic about the whole thing.

“Look, I can explain,” Kyungsoo spoke lowly to not wake Baekhyun up.

Sojin gasped, rasping, “Why is he here again!? I tolerate you still want to be friends with him but this?”

“He just needs a place to stay for tonight. He’ll leave tomorrow, I promise. It’s just for one night.” Kyungsoo pressed his palms together apologetically.

“Why did you bring him here in the first place? Baekhyun is trouble! Who knows what he is up to now. You know, I don’t like him.” Sojin bit down on her nails, feeling frustrated.

“Just for one night, please?” Kyungsoo pleaded.

Sojin sighed, pushing away Kyungsoo, “He better be gone by tomorrow”.

Kyungsoo sighed. He wasn’t sure which was harder, disappointing his best friend or the love of his life.

 

Baekhyun had actually waked up when he heard Sojin entering the apartment. But he then continued to pretend to be asleep especially when he realized that the conversation they were having was about him.

Baekhyun heard every single word and he could feel his heart sinking into the pits of his stomach.

Not only that he felt like he was imposing and burdening Kyungsoo, Baekhyun also felt that Chanyeol was right after all.

He had nowhere to go.

 

 

The next morning, Baekhyun left even before Sojin or Baekhyun woke up. Baekhyun left some money which he pressed to the fridge with a magnet-enough money for a room for one night at an inn.

Baekhyun didn’t want to feel like he was burdening.

 

Baekhyun wandered around malls and fast food outlets where he could keep himself warm from the cold winter outside. All he had were the clothes on his back, his wallet and his phone.

His phone had run out of battery a while ago and he didn’t bother to charge it because he would have to ask someone to help him with that.

Then again, Baekhyun didn’t really expect anyone to be calling him except maybe Kyungsoo.

 

Baekhyun bought one meal which he ate and then sat at the table for hours until it was closing time. Baekhyun made use of the free coffee refills to keep himself awake.

He didn’t want to fall asleep in a public place because then that would make it obvious that he was a homeless man now, where he would be then kicked out of the place for.

Baekhyun lost in trying to stay awake, however. He fell asleep by accident, even when he had been trying so hard to keep himself awake.

 

When Baekhyun woke up startled, he quickly left the fast food outlet because it was almost closing time and the employees were beginning to look at him questionably, as if they were deciding among themselves what to do with him.

Only after then, Baekhyun realized that his wallet and phone were missing. Baekhyun ran back to the fast food outlet to look for his phone and wallet, only to find the place closed for the day.

It was also too dark to look inside and see if it was still there, which he doubt it would be.

Baekhyun slammed his fist on the glass door out of frustration, when the alarm began to ring. Baekhyun quickly dashed out of the place and left the area before anyone mistook him for a burglar.

 

 

 

It was almost midnight. The temperature was a freezing sub-zero outside. Baekhyun was cold, tired, and hungry and had no money or anywhere to go either. It didn’t help that his body was sore either from the constant abuse. The cold only made it worse.

It made the pain even worse. Both the pain he felt in his body and the one he felt in his heart

 

Baekhyun knew that he should probably be lodging a police report-if not about Chanyeol, then at least about his missing phone and wallet.

But a feeling shifted in his heart when he realized where he was.

Baekhyun had been aimlessly wandering the empty streets on the icy sidewalks with nowhere in mind to go, going wherever his sore legs would carry him to.

Now, he realized where his aimless wandering had let him to.

 

 

Baekhyun found himself standing on the street in front of his old home, where he had lived at for years until three months ago.

He could see some lights turned on inside from the windows and the curtains drawn shut together. The car that he knew belonged to his mother was parked there in the driveway and the bicycle he knew that belonged to his step-brother was also chained outside.

It was quiet. Baekhyun assumed so anyway because it was rather late.

 

Mustering up the courage, Baekhyun rang the bell on the gate- repeatedly until he saw the front door unlock and his mother gasping in surprise to see him there.

Baekhyun’s mother, a middle-aged woman with short hair, quickly put on her slippers and grabbed a coat near the door. She then walked up to the gate to face Baekhyun.

 

“You shouldn’t be here. What happens if he sees you here?” Baekhyun’s mother snapped. “You should leave now.”

“-but he’s not home. I don’t see his car here.” Baekhyun bemoaned from behind the gate to his mother.

“He will be soon!”

“Really? He’s cheating on you again, isn’t he? I bet he said he was busy at work or something like that but he’s with some other woman now.” Baekhyun dryly chuckled.

“You know nothing! Go away, Baekhyun. Just go.” Baekhyun’s mother continued to nag at him.

“I have nowhere to go.” Baekhyun fought back tears to just say that.

“I can’t help you with that. That’s your problem. I can’t have you here because your father doesn’t like you.” Baekhyun’s mother turned away to not face him.

“So you would choose that man over your own son even though he hits you and cheats too? You treat his son better than you treat a blood relative like me” Baekhyun shook his head disapprovingly. “Don’t call him my father. He’s not my father. He’s a sorry excuse for a man.”

 

Furious, Baekhyun’s mother unlocked the gate and swung it open. Baekhyun slightly stepped back when he saw his mother approach him.

 Pointing a finger at Baekhyun, she sternly announced, “Don’t you dare disrespect him around me! You better respect him. Your birth father wasn’t any better either.”

“My birth father died before I was born! I bet he would be there for me if he could.” Baekhyun, his voice resonating in the empty streets.

Baekhyun’s mother scoffed, “Your birth father was more than twice my age and you were born as a result of an affair. He was a married man who even had a daughter older than me. Did you ever think he could be there for you even if he could? He has his own family and he wouldn’t even acknowledge you!”

“That’s your fault for being such a whore.” Baekhyun thoughtlessly insulted his mother out of the irrational anger he felt inside him.

 

Baekhyun instead received a slap on his face which surprised him when it came. Baekhyun clutched his cheek with his hand, looking back at his mother with horrified eyes.

She then promptly turned around and left, locking the gate shut and entering the house without looking back at Baekhyun even once.

 

Baekhyun was left alone, standing there in the cold, clutching his cold cheek as warm tears rolled onto his face and the hand on his cheek.

Baekhyun began to sob and tremble. He never felt so betrayed, so unwanted and so alone in his life.

There was no one there for him, Baekhyun believed.

Baekhyun hated himself for being so “difficult” that no one would want him. Even the only person who seemed like they wanted him around was a crazy man who seemed like two people at the same time.

 

Baekhyun cried, his tears becoming cold on his face very fast in the weather. Baekhyun walked out onto the street and stood there in the middle of it with slouched shoulders and a face void of emotions.

Baekhyun stared down at the asphalt under the lighting of incandescent street lamps as he hoped for a car to run him over, to end his miserable and pointless existence.

 

Baekhyun heard the rumble of a car engine coming towards him. Baekhyun turned his head to look but the headlights blinded him.

It was only until the car approached him close enough to see, Baekhyun realized that the car looked exactly like Chanyeol’s.

The car braked and came to a halt just a few feet away from where Baekhyun was standing.

 

Baekhyun lifted his head to look through the windshield mirror and saw none other than Chanyeol behind the wheel of the car.

Chanyeol switched the headlights off and exited the car.

Baekhyun muttered to himself, “Shit”, looking left and right as he frantically tried to scramble his brain and figure out what to do as Chanyeol slowly approached him.

 

 


	7. VII

 

“Let’s go home, Baekhyun. Back to our home” Chanyeol urged, standing in front of Baekhyun.

“ _Our_? You mean yours. How did you find me anyway, you creep.” Baekhyun replied.

“No. It is our home.” Chanyeol insisted. “We are family.”

“Are you on some drugs? Since when did I get a family ‘upgrade’?” Baekhyun blurted out, “Anyway, I’m not going back with you and that’s for sure.”

“Really? But you don’t have anywhere to go and you clearly know that”, Chanyeol stated the obvious.

“I’ll find some other place. I’ll sleep at a homeless shelter or something until I can get a job.” Baekhyun continued to refuse Chanyeol.

“Why do you make things so difficult for yourself? I am giving you the easy way out if you come with me but yet you still turn me down.” Chanyeol expressed.

“It’s because you are-ugh, I don’t even know how to begin to explain.” Baekhyun balled up his fists and almost had to stop himself from stomping his foot down on the ground.

“Is it because I am crazy? Because it seems like there are two of me? Is that what you wanted to say?” Chanyeol stood up straight, slightly tilting his head to the side, confidently saying the words without a single hitch.

“Exactly” Baekhyun threw his arms up in the air before almost instantly bringing them back down. “I don’t want to get hurt anymore, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun sighed, “I’m tired. I can’t deal with this anymore. I already feel so lost.”

“Then come home with me. At least have a roof over your head for the night or until you can settle all the matters you have. If you want to leave after that, then that’s up to you” Chanyeol suggested, holding out a hand to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun dryly chuckled, “If I go with you it’s so you can assault me the next time you decide to go crazy?”

“I can explain why I’m like that if you’ll come with me. I’ll tell you everything, I promise. We’re friends, aren’t we? Friends don’t hurt each other and I don’t want to lose you as a friend.” Chanyeol claimed, still holding out that hand for Baekhyun to take.

“How can I trust that you won’t hurt me? I can never tell when you’re this Chanyeol or the other dangerous one.” Baekhyun was wary.

 

Chanyeol paused for a moment, breathing with his mouth open that formed mist in the surrounding cold air.

They had been standing in front of the car in the middle of the road for quite a while now in the freezing temperature.

Luckily, no other car has passed or had to go their way since then. They were in a residential area and it seemed like everyone was asleep and had not seen them either

Hardly anyone was out and about at this time of the night. Chanyeol and Baekhyun did rather look questionable standing there talking to each other.

 

“Do you know why I hardly leave my room sometimes?” Chanyeol began to speak after a while.

“No. I’ve never even seen inside your room lest being in it,” Baekhyun shook his head.

“My room has a lock on the inside whereby I can’t let myself out unless I key a security code,” Chanyeol answered, staring ahead at Baekhyun in the eye.

“How does that make me safe?” Baekhyun asked, puzzled. “You obviously know the code so you can let yourself out.”

“I know the code but he-the dangerous Chanyeol you said, does not. He does not remember it. The lock is to keep me in, not to keep other people out” Chanyeol revealed.

“Oh? I was pretty sure you were outside of your room the times you assaulted me though. I can report you to the police, you know?” Baekhyun arched an eyebrow, feeling a tad bit more confident with the threat he had just spewed towards Chanyeol.

“Those two instances were because it happened while I was outside of my room. If it weren’t for the lock I put in my room, it would have been ten or more times.” Chanyeol outrightly informed.

“Nope. That doesn’t sound safe at all to me.” Baekhyun pressed his lips together and placed both his hands in the front pockets of his coat. His hands were finally beginning to feel numb from the cold and he had left in a rush to put his gloves on.

 

“Fine then. Have it your way.” Chanyeol took one long look at Baekhyun and sighed, heaving his shoulders, before making his way back to his car.

Baekhyun stood by as he watched Chanyeol get into his car before turning the lights and engine on.

Chanyeol did not drive away yet, however. His hands were on the steering wheel but he only stared straight ahead at Baekhyun outside of the car.

Baekhyun stared back at Chanyeol even though his view was rather obscured by the headlights pointed at him and dark interior of the car.

“Oh come on, just cut through the other lane if you want to go. You don’t expect me to get off the street, do you?” Baekhyun yelled out loud in the dead of night on the road in the middle of the residential district they were at. Baekhyun halfway through realized that Chanyeol did indeed have the right of way being in a car while he shouldn’t really be standing in the middle of the road.

Chanyeol barely heard Baekhyun from inside the car. His foot was ready on the gas pedal but he wasn’t leaving yet without the one thing he came for.

 

Baekhyun shook his head disapprovingly, let out a small sigh and kicked a pebble he found on the road.

It soon began to snow flurries. Chanyeol remained in the car, turning on the windshield wiper and leaning his elbow against the window as he continued watching Baekhyun stand there.

“He’s not giving up is he?” Baekhyun muttered lowly to himself.

Baekhyun began to contemplate his decision when the first snow hit his face and he realized that it was a going to be cold long night if he had to sleep outside with no money and nowhere to go to.

Baekhyun had nothing now except for the man staring back at him from inside the expensive luxury car parked in front of him.

And even that was a rather uncertain thing. Baekhyun wouldn’t always have this safe Chanyeol who was his friend either. Sometimes it was the dangerous one who wasn’t his friend at all, the one who hurt and beat him up.

 

But Baekhyun contemplated that it was no different than the house he grew up in either, which was right in front of him at the moment, just across the road from where he stood at the moment.

There was never a change or “starting anew” in his life when he finally left home and moved in with Chanyeol. He had simply jumped out of the kettle and into the fire.

 

Baekhyun fought back a tear when he realized that he couldn’t make it alone out here.

Baekhyun knew exactly what Chanyeol was waiting for. Chanyeol was waiting for Baekhyun to exhaust his options, break down, give in and willingly go.

Because if Baekhyun had to go through more hell again, it was because he had chosen to put himself through it knowing the risks that entailed.

Baekhyun made that decision because he came to terms that maybe, this path of darkness was all that would be laid out in front of him.

 

Baekhyun took a deep breath that felt cold in his lungs before walking to the passenger’s side of the car, finding the door unlocked and then getting into the car with Chanyeol.

Chanyeol was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel when Baekhyun came in. Chanyeol then turned to look at Baekhyun, asking, “Are you hungry?”

Baekhyun pretended like he hadn’t gone through a personal crisis and was actually scared about what would happen from here on. Baekhyun fastened his seatbelt before answering, “Yeah, I only had a late lunch and then I got my wallet and phone stolen so I couldn’t buy any more food.”

“I see”, Chanyeol nodded, “We’ll find a place that opens late at night where we can eat and then we’ll go to the police and make a report about your stuff.”

“I guess so” Baekhyun nipped on his lower lip, silently contemplating his decision to go along with Chanyeol.

It was not like he had any other choice or opportunity either.

 

 

Chanyeol managed to find a foreign delicacy restaurant that was open even in the middle of the night; where Baekhyun ate and during the entire time, Chanyeol just sat across from him with only a glass of tea, asking Baekhyun if he liked the food and wanted if he wanted to order more.

Baekhyun ordered quite a lot from the menu because everything seemed more appealing to him due to how hungry he was. Only when he was done eating, did Baekhyun realize that the bill would also be quite pricey because of how much he ate.

Chanyeol paid the bill with a smile on his face and did not even complain or comment about the amount it totaled at.

Baekhyun didn’t feel like apologizing for that either but he did think that it certainly felt good to have someone pay his bills.

 

 

After the meal, Chanyeol drove them to a police station to lodge Baekhyun’s report for his missing phone and wallet.

Chanyeol waited on one of the chairs in the reception area while Baekhyun explained the details to the police officer taking down his report. Baekhyun would need the official printed report later on when he had to replace his identification cards lost in the wallet.

As the police officer was readying his report, Baekhyun was asked if there was anything else he would like to lodge a report for.

Baekhyun was picking at his nails on his hands below the desk and his feet were slightly jittering. There was an urge pooling inside him to tell the police officer about what Chanyeol had done to him. He could just put an end to it all.

 

Chanyeol looked like he had a lot of money to hire a good attorney to defend himself if the police report was lodged and later brought to court.

Baekhyun knew on the other hand that all he had was going to be a government-appointed attorney and he was fearful that Chanyeol would just end up walking free from all of this and potentially just end up hurting him more for speaking up in the first place.

Baekhyun didn’t know what else to do.

 

Baekhyun feared the retaliation but there was also that part of him sort of pitied Chanyeol because he actually understood how lonely Chanyeol felt. He hated himself for even feeling that way.

Baekhyun shook his head, told the police officer-no, and that night the only report lodged was about his missing phone and wallet.

 

 

Baekhyun almost dozed off and went to sleep in the car after they had left the police station. According to the digital clock on the dashboard, it was past 3am and Baekhyun wasn’t one to be awake this late. Furthermore, he had a really long day and the feeling of just wanting to go back to his four-poster bed in the mansion was the only thought on his mind now.

Not the imminent trouble he had put himself in or not the dangerous Chanyeol he never knew when would appear. Baekhyun just wanted to rest.

 

 

 

The next morning, Chanyeol got up and went down to the first floor of the mansion to draw the curtains shut, only to find Baekhyun still sleeping on the couch in front of the fireplace that had long gone out since last night, curled up under a blanket and breathing heavily in his sleep.

Chanyeol chose to turn up the thermostat instead so Baekhyun could sleep more comfortably but Baekhyun heard the footsteps of Chanyeol walking around, which roused him from his sleep.

 

“You’re not here to kill me, are you?” Baekhyun asked, sitting up on the couch and yawning, still feeling groggy.

“Why would I kill a friend?” Chanyeol answered, snickering, standing a distance away from the couch, wearing a light blue sweater.

“I guess we’re good then” Baekhyun sighed in relief innately. This was the safe Chanyeol and Baekhyun he thought he could relax for now at least.

“Why are you sleeping here anyway? What’s wrong with your room?” Chanyeol inquired, “Is there a leak or is the heater not working? I’ll get it fixed then.”

“No, everything is fine.” Baekhyun quickly got to his feet, standing up and pulling the blanket off of him. “It’s just that sometimes I hear tapping noises on the windows and behind the walls and it disturbs me from my sleep.”

“I see.” Chanyeol nodded, walking to the window and drawing the heavy curtains shut. Turning to Baekhyun, Chanyeol then asked, “Do you want to eat? I’ll make breakfast and we can eat together.”

“Yeah sure” Baekhyun replied, but he wasn’t too sure of his answer because he was still scared of the other Chanyeol.

 

 

Chanyeol made toast and eggs for breakfast while Baekhyun set the plates and made two cups of coffee with the coffee maker, with a little help from Chanyeol too since Baekhyun was more used to making instant coffee and buying it off food carts near his former workplace.

Baekhyun was light on his feet the entire time he was in the kitchen with Chanyeol. He was cautious and ready to sprint at any moment if Chanyeol suddenly took the turn to suddenly attack him.

Since then, Baekhyun had avoided wearing pants that needed a belt and the entire time he was in the kitchen, Baekhyun kept eyeing the wine cooler and seeing if Chanyeol would reach for it.

Chanyeol did not, of course.

 

“Can I ask a question?” Baekhyun asked at the breakfast table while he was eating with Chanyeol, twirling his fork in his right hand.

“What is it?” Chanyeol responded, taking a bite of his toast.

Baekhyun paused, then gulped before he could ask, “You said that you could lock yourself in your room but how do you know when to do it? I mean, I’ve been assaulted by that ‘other’ Chanyeol outside of your room. How does that even work?”

Chanyeol placed down his fork on the plate with a tinkling sound and looked up straight ahead at Baekhyun sitting on the opposite side of him. “I’ve lived like this for a while now. I can usually tell by a wild guess or if I begin to have intrusive thoughts so I just lock myself in my room before it happens but I’m not always successful in catching myself before it happens as you can see. Sometimes it doesn’t happen at all but I still lock myself in the room for precaution.”

Baekhyun lowered his gaze after hearing Chanyeol, feeling a bit afraid to look at Chanyeol in the eye, “Is it some sort of mental condition?”

“Dissociative personality disorder” Chanyeol answered, looking down at his plate. “Some people with my condition have more than ten different personalities but I only have two or at least that’s what my doctors told me. I cannot remember anything that happens when I’m the other person.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun gaped, feeling slightly guilty and bad for Chanyeol. Baekhyun was beginning to regret even asking Chanyeol about it because he felt bad, seeing how distraught and down in the dumps Chanyeol looked now.

“I don’t blame you if you want to leave now that I told you about that. Everyone leaves me so I’m used to it. I am a burden and not worth the trouble.” Chanyeol added, cutting a portion of his toast.

“I’m sorry” Baekhyun muttered. “How did this happen anyway? Have you always been like this?”

“I thought you knew already. Didn’t you look up my personal history?” Chanyeol lifted his gaze back up again at Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun bit his tongue in his mouth, wondering how Chanyeol knew about that. It seemed like Chanyeol knew a lot about him and Baekhyun wanted the answer to that too. How did Chanyeol know all of these things?

Baekhyun did feel like he had overstayed his welcome and pried in too much to be asking more questions but he already took the risk by coming here and at least he didn’t want to end up empty-handed and still in the dark about things.

As it stands, Baekhyun still had a lot of questions.

 

Baekhyun dared himself to ask, despite a strong reasoning voice within him that said to hold it back. It wasn’t the question that Baekhyun was afraid of; it was the reaction and the possible repercussions he might get.

“I admit that I did try to look up your personal history but I found nothing so I just stopped there.” Baekhyun also muttered a low, “I’m sorry.”

“You could have just asked me if you really wanted to know. I would have answered you.” Chanyeol replied, lifting his mug of coffee and resting his elbow on the table.

Baekhyun sat up straight, no longer hunching his shoulders and then feeling slightly more confident before asking, “Then, I want to know who you really are and how you know so much about me.”

“Fine. I will answer your questions after we’re done with breakfast. I guess I’ll have to tell you about it at some point anyway.” Chanyeol then took a sip of his coffee all while still staring back at Baekhyun.

Once again, Baekhyun only had more questions than from where he had started off.

 

 


	8. VIII

 

“So, this is it” Chanyeol announced to Baekhyun, holding the door to his room wide open, “Come in.”

Baekhyun hesitated and paused momentarily before putting one foot in, all while holding his breath.

 

Chanyeol’s room was larger than his, about two to three times the size, Baekhyun could see. The furniture, wallpapers, carpeted floors and overall dark colored interior were similar, however.

With the added space in Chanyeol’s room, it appeared that Chanyeol had a working desk with several monitor screens and folders piled on it. There was also a bookshelf that lined the wall behind the desk.

Baekhyun’s eyes were wandering around the room, trying to capture every detail he could get in the dim lighting.

Baekhyun also noticed the large framed family portrait that hung on the wall above Chanyeol’s bed. In the portrait was a young male child, a female teenager, and a man and woman who Baekhyun guessed were most likely Chanyeol’s parents.

 

Chanyeol noticed that Baekhyun was looking at the portrait and informed, “That’s the last family portrait we took with all of us together.”

“Oh. You look young there.” Baekhyun commented, mouth forming an “o” shape.

“Yeah, that was taken over twenty years ago when I was about four or five years old. My father passed away from a heart attack not long after we had it taken.” Chanyeol stated.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Baekhyun apologized, lowering his gaze.

“Well, there can’t be life without death,” Chanyeol added, closing the door but not locking it in place. “Here, look at the door,” Chanyeol called out to Baekhyun, pointing at the door with the handle still in his hand.

 

Baekhyun turned around to look and saw Chanyeol demonstrating how the lock worked. On the wall beside the door was an electronic panel, similar to the electronic locks people had outside their houses but except this time, it was inside.

There also seemed to be some sort of woven tapestry piece hung on the door which covered the back of the door until almost all the way to the floor.

 

“It’s a basic electronic lock but it keeps me in instead of keeping people out like locks are supposed to be,” Chanyeol stated, setting the lock in place.

“So this other personality of yours does not know the code to the lock?” Baekhyun pointed out.

“No, he does not,” Chanyeol shook his head, confirming Baekhyun’s statement.

“Can it be opened from the outside if you lock yourself inside?” Baekhyun questioned.

“No, it locks the door both ways until the code is keyed in. I guess you could break down the door if you wanted to try to get in when the lock is in place. It is a very sturdy door but I mean, he has tried before.” Chanyeol enlightened.

 

Chanyeol pulled down the tapestry hanging on the door and revealed to Baekhyun the actual state of how the door looked like.

Baekhyun wasn’t surprised to see the scraping marks of the wooden varnish and the top surface on the door being peeled off by something that looked like the marks left by a human’s fingernails. There were numerous claw marks on the door to make it look like it had been happening quite often now.

“I always wake up with these splinters in my fingers and sometimes my nails bleed. This is what he-I do.” Chanyeol too stared at the door together with Baekhyun.

Baekhyun suggested, “Have you tried gloves?”

“I did. He just takes them off later.” Chanyeol shrugged.

“Well, it must be bored to be stuck in here all day isn’t it?” Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to say but he did sympathize a bit with Chanyeol.

Chanyeol hung the tapestry back up while answering Baekhyun, “That’s why I have my workspace in here. I just work and see what happens.”

“You work? I thought you said you didn’t work,” Baekhyun inquired, confused.

“I don’t work in a sense that I don’t have a job but I do monitor the stock markets and manage my investments from time to time. I can do all of that from here,” Chanyeol clarified, walking up to his desk.

 

 

Baekhyun stood where he was, in the middle of the room, under the lights as he watched Chanyeol flip through several books on the desk.

“So you’re a businessman?” Baekhyun asked, slightly scrunching up his nose.

“I’m not. My parents were. They had businesses in finance and trading. After my father died, the business was sold to his partners but my family still holds a stake in the shares. I’m the only one left here so I’m in control of the shares we have left.” Chanyeol glanced for a second at Baekhyun before going through his folders, neatly piled up on the table.

“You say you’re the only one left but what about your sister? Isn’t she alive still?”

Chanyeol replied, “She’s so much older than me by eighteen years. By the time I was born, she was already off going to college so we were never close. Our father had an affair when I was still very young and she hated him for hurting our mother because of the affair, so my sister cut him off and moved away with her boyfriend.”

 

Chanyeol paused, sighed and closed the folder in his hand. “She was also angry at our mother for not leaving our father after news of the affair broke out. I haven’t seen her not since our mother’s funeral six years ago. I don’t think she likes having a crazy brother like me too.”

Baekhyun was afraid of asking further even if there were a lot still he wanted to know about. But it did seem like all his questions had heavy answers to it, which made him hesitant.

 

“I’m sorry if I’m asking too much. I feel like I’m prying into your personal life.” Baekhyun apologized once more.

“It’s alright. I did promise you I would tell you the truth so go ahead and ask.” Chanyeol urged, pulling out a chair in front of the desk and sitting on it, facing Baekhyun.

“Yeah…” Baekhyun gaped, “About your condition, I just wanted to know how that all happened. Were you born with it?” Baekhyun asked, meekly.

“I thought you found out about that one already?” Chanyeol tapped his finger on the wooden surface of the desk beside him.

“No?” Baekhyun quickly realized that that had come out as a question.

“-about the school shooting?”, Chanyeol hinted.

“Oh, that one,” Baekhyun nodded his head, “I read about it but I wasn’t sure if you were involved in it.”

“I was” Chanyeol was quick to answer.

 

Chanyeol stopped tapping his fingers on the desk and averted his gaze to the floor.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I know it might be a hard topic for you to talk about so please just forget that I ever even brought it up.” Baekhyun tried to push the topic away as he slowly approached Chanyeol, just stopping a few steps from the chair Chanyeol was sitting on.

“No. I will talk about it.” Chanyeol insisted, “I will tell you about it.”

“Really?” Baekhyun had to make sure.

“Yes,” Chanyeol affirmed, “I am the lone survivor from my class in that school shooting you heard about. It was during my junior year. We were in the school gym for P.E classes. The kid that did the shooting snuck out to seal all the exits with chains and padlocks from outside, leaving only a window he climbed through to get in.”

Baekhyun gulped, feeling tense and jittery as Chanyeol continued his story.

“-that kid was a weird one. He barely had friends and he used to come to my desk a lot because everyone else refused to talk to him. I didn’t have the heart to push him away, so I talked to him a lot and he was just odd. His father owned the shooting range downtown so he stole all the guns from there and snuck them to school. He shot the teacher first and then all our classmates. When some kids tried to climb out the window, he shot them one by one until there was literally a pile of bodies on top of each other like a heap under the window. Some of the teachers and other students outside heard the gunshots but no one dared to approach and help us break out of there.”

Baekhyun gasped, cupping a hand over his mouth at the horror of what he had heard.

Chanyeol looked to the side, before finishing his recollection, “I hid near some sports equipment because I was too scared to move. He did find me and when I saw him coming, I thought I was going to die. But he smiled at me and called me his friend. He said friends don’t hurt each other and then he shot himself in the head. You don’t want to know what a gym full of dead people looks like, trust me. The news outlets said it took eight minutes for the police to arrive but in that eight minutes I sat alone with the bodies of my dead peers, I lost a very big part of myself.”

Chanyeol was now drifting off, looking into blank space but continued his story anyway, “I was homeschooled after that by my mother and I eventually started becoming…like this. She sent me off to a psychiatric hospital and after a while, they eventually let me go home. On the day I came home from the hospital, I found out that she had hung herself in this room, over there.

Chanyeol pointed above to the window behind Baekhyun. Baekhyun turned around to look.

“She hung herself on the railings.” Chanyeol added, “The maids thought she was still sleeping and I was eager to surprise her so I went in here to find her already dead. Sometimes I still see her here so I made this my room.” Chanyeol grinned.

Baekhyun saw Chanyeol’s grin and a shiver ran up his spine. The sight of it was eerie and chilling.

 

Baekhyun stammered, “I think I-I should go now.” Baekhyun was on his heel and ready to leave the room any moment.

Baekhyun was uncomfortable to know too much already. Chanyeol was a madman indeed and the revelation basically sealed the deal.

Nevermind that Baekhyun still had more questions for Chanyeol. He didn’t care about that now. Baekhyun felt that he just had to get out of that room right now for his own safety.

 

“Where are you going?” Chanyeol asked, gaze following Baekhyun.

“I'm just going to get some fresh air”, Baekhyun lied. He just wanted to be away from Chanyeol now.

“It’s ok. I understand if you don’t want to be around me any longer. Everyone leaves me eventually.” Chanyeol expressed, getting up on his feet and pushing the chair backward.

Baekhyun was already near the door which had been left unlocked and was about to take a step out of the room when he realized that Chanyeol was not actually following him.

Baekhyun had naturally assumed Chanyeol would be assaulting him now but it didn’t seem like the case at all.

Instead, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol standing in front of the bookshelf, seemingly looking for something.

 

Chanyeol glanced over his shoulder to see that Baekhyun had indeed not left the room yet and was just standing near the door.

“If you’re going to leave, can you wait a bit? There’s something I wanted to show to you.” Chanyeol spoke up, “I just need to find that book first.”

“Uh…sure?” Baekhyun replied, slightly in a daze.

At least for now, Baekhyun felt a little bit safe.

Chanyeol pulled down the books from the shelf in an attempt to look for whatever it was he wanted to show Baekhyun.

He was interrupted, however, by the sound of the phone on his desk ringing.

Chanyeol set the books aside to pick up the phone and spoke lowly through the phone, nodding his head along. Baekhyun watched from near the door, unable to hear what Chanyeol was talking about.

Chanyeol then placed the receiver down when the call ended and looked up back at Baekhyun from across the room, “It was the police station. They say that they caught someone who had your stuff so they want you to come down to the station.”

“I see” Baekhyun would have been a little bit excited to hear that but somehow he just felt relieved, probably because Chanyeol was not trying to strangle him or make him drink to death.

“Go get ready. I’ll drive you there.” Chanyeol instructed Baekhyun.

“Yeah, sure.” Baekhyun easily complied and left Chanyeol’s room, headed down the hallway to his own room to change into his outdoor clothes.

 

 

 

At the police station, Baekhyun found out that a homeless man had wandered into the fast food outlet and stole his wallet and phone which was placed on the table, while Baekhyun had dozed off asleep.

The homeless man was arrested just a few hours ago for loitering and urinating at the doorstep of a boutique.

The police found Baekhyun’s wallet on the homeless man but with the cash all gone. Fortunately, the identification cards were still there and the police were able to contact Baekhyun.

Baekhyun’s phone had however been sold off by the homeless man to someone on the street and Baekhyun only came out of the police station with his penniless wallet that smelled suspiciously strange.

 

Baekhyun retrieved his cards and stuffed it into his pockets before disposing of the wallet in a trash can outside the police station. He would just get a new one later on instead of using one which smelled sort of like feces.

Baekhyun then walked to the car where Chanyeol was waiting in and got in.

 

 

The ride home was rather quiet. Chanyeol asked how it went and Baekhyun answered appropriately but the conversation did not carry on past that.

Baekhyun looked out the window near his seat while Chanyeol had his eyes focused on the road as he drove.

Chanyeol broke the silence first by asking, “Are you alright, Baekhyun?”

“I’m alright,” Baekhyun replied, resting his head against the headrest behind him.

“Well, if you need anything then let me know. I’ll try to help you as much as I can,” Chanyeol offered, “I can buy you a new phone if you want and you don’t have to pay rent until you find a job.”

“Uh…” Baekhyun had to rack up the words to say, “You really shouldn’t do that. I have a bit of money left so I’ll be good for a while if I’m thrifty. I have enough money for rent too. I don’t deserve your help and I don’t want to owe you anything.”

“You don’t owe me anything at all,” Chanyeol clarified.

“Chanyeol, you’re a nice person at least most of the time until...you know. But, you shouldn’t let people take advantage of you for your niceness especially because you’re rich. But I guess the other Chanyeol just beats them up later?” Baekhyun took a wild guess, technically answering his own question.

Chanyeol chuckled, “I think so but I haven’t had anyone been close to me for years now so there’s no one to take advantage of me. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Baekhyun caught himself watching the crease around Chanyeol’s eye form when he laughed and thinking that it looked adorable.

Baekhyun quickly looked away. He did not want to get too attached to people because he was sure that they would just hurt him later on and he was beginning to feel that way with Chanyeol.

Especially because he knew that Chanyeol would certainly hurt him for sure. If not the one with him right now, it would be the other dangerous one he feared so much.

 

Chanyeol was a ticking time bomb to Baekhyun but it was one where you could not see the time left on it before the explosion.

Baekhyun could only be cautious because he chose this. He chose to stay with Chanyeol.

 

 

 

Baekhyun brought down his pillow and blanket from his room to the couch in front of the fireplace on the first floor of the mansion.

Baekhyun felt safer to sleep there than in his room. One reason was that it was closer to the door if he needed to escape. Baekhyun had already made a mental map of all the possible exits in the mansion and how he would plan his getaway if Chanyeol just happened to assault him again.

Chanyeol was locked away in his room and Baekhyun had not seen Chanyeol since dinner a few hours ago.

It certainly paid to be careful, Baekhyun thought.

 

 

Baekhyun also had brought his laptop down with him so he could reply to Kyungsoo’s email to tell his best friend that he was alright and not sleeping on some bench somewhere in the cold.

Baekhyun sat on the rug in front of the crackling fireplace that Chanyeol had lit earlier on as he typed out the email before sending it out. Baekhyun then turned his laptop off and placed it away on the coffee table beside the couch.

 

Before Baekhyun could get up from the rug on the floor, he saw Chanyeol approaching and plopping down on the couch that he had set up on his bed. Baekhyun had not noticed Chanyeol coming in.

Baekhyun sat back down on the rug, looking up at Chanyeol on the couch.

“Are you sleeping on the couch again tonight?” Chanyeol questioned, looking at the pillow and blanket laid on the couch.

“Yeah” Baekhyun answered, looking up back at Chanyeol.

“I believe we were interrupted earlier on. Do you still have more questions for me?” Chanyeol leaned over, bending at the waist to look at Baekhyun at a closer range.

 

Baekhyun slightly shifted backward when Chanyeol approached him.

 Baekhyun found himself staring back into Chanyeol’s dark brown eyes that reflected the glow of the fireplace behind him as the sounds of the wood crackling in the fire filled the air, giving the atmosphere a rather homely and relaxing feel to it.

“N-no” Baekhyun replied, unable to peel his gaze off of Chanyeol for one reason.

Baekhyun was alarmed as he was trying to remember.

 

Hasn’t Chanyeol always worn black the two times he had been assaulted? Why was Chanyeol wearing black now?

Chanyeol was supposed to be locked in his room now so the dangerous Chanyeol couldn’t come out. But here Chanyeol was sitting in front of him, wearing black and slowly wrapping his slender fingers firmly around Baekhyun’s throat.

Baekhyun was confused as to which Chanyeol this was now.

Baekhyun blinked, frozen and unable to move or look away. The hand on his throat was not constricting and he could breathe normally but it was there, firmly and heavy like a constant reminder of the danger.

 

“Please don’t say no, Baekhyun. It might get ugly,” Chanyeol bent over to whisper near Baekhyun’s ear.

 

 


	9. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning that this chapter contains sexual assault and a potentially "disturbing" theme

 

“W-what do you expect me to say then?” Baekhyun stammered, afraid of saying the wrong thing to anger the Chanyeol with a strong grip on his neck.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure at all.

Chanyeol paused, looking as if he was in thought for a moment. In the lull of the moment, Baekhyun felt like pushing Chanyeol off and running back to his room to hide.

This wasn’t the first time it had happened and Baekhyun swore that he should have known how to react better to this now. Obviously, he hadn’t been learning much since the previous two incidents.

 

“How about saying yes to this then?” Chanyeol suggested, relaxing the grip he had on Baekhyun’s neck.

Baekhyun wasn’t off the hook yet, however. Chanyeol’s hands moved to each of Baekhyun’s shoulders, holding them in place to push Baekhyun down on his back on the rug in front of the fireplace.

Chanyeol had gotten off the sofa to join Baekhyun on the floor and was now straddling Baekhyun’s waist from above, with his hands still fixed on Baekhyun’s shoulders as he stared down the younger man beneath him.

“What is this for?” Baekhyun asked, blinking his eyes as he stared back into Chanyeol’s eyes.

“I just wanted to be your friend, Baekhyun” Chanyeol answered, not breaking the eye contact between the both of them.

“We are friends already,” Baekhyun dryly chuckled out of nervousness.

“Really?”, Chanyeol slightly tilted his head to the side.

“Yes” Baekhyun nodded but in the position he was, it was more like hitting his head back against the rug.

“Will you hurt me?” Chanyeol leaned in closer, hovering his face just a few inches from Baekhyun’s.

“I won’t. Friends don’t hurt each other, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun replied, lifting a hand to touch Chanyeol’s cheek.

Chanyeol was rigid above Baekhyun but his eyes didn’t even blink or lose focus once as he stared back into Baekhyun’s own eyes.

 

 

Right there and then, an idea sparked in Baekhyun’s head. When the dangerous Chanyeol had always tried to do something towards him, Baekhyun would always try to retaliate and fight back.

In a way, it was aggression even if done as a counter to the assault against him. Baekhyun surely couldn’t expect himself to just sit and do nothing when he had his life to worry about.

It was however proven that counter aggression didn’t work.

But Baekhyun thought that he could try to also befriend this other Chanyeol, the dangerous one. Maybe this would work, Baekhyun believed.

 

“If it’s true that we are friends then I want to be closer to you,” Chanyeol leaned into Baekhyun’s hand on his cheek.

Chanyeol lifted a hand off of Baekhyun’s shoulder to press the latter’s hand on his cheek closer to his skin. Baekhyun’s hand was cold to Chanyeol’s touch.

“So please, don’t say no to this,” Chanyeol sighed, pushing Baekhyun’s hand away from his face.

Chanyeol tugged on the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt, riding it up, exposing Baekhyun’s pale skin beneath the shirt.

Baekhyun tried grabbing Chanyeol’s hand to stop him, “What are you doing?”

Chanyeol slapped away Baekhyun’s hand and forcibly removed Baekhyun’s shirt, pulling it above his shoulders and head.

 

 

Baekhyun tried lifting himself up to a sitting position but Chanyeol yanked him back down by pulling harshly on his hair, hitting the back of Baekhyun’s head down on the rug on the floor in front of the fireplace with an audible thud sound.

The impact on the back of Baekhyun’s head caused his ears to ring and for him to see stars and his vision slightly blacked out. Baekhyun groaned, feeling disoriented and very dizzy.

Baekhyun could still feel the hands on his waistband, pulling down his trousers and boxers until he was pretty sure he could feel a slight a rug burn on his naked butt.

 

When Baekhyun’s vision and the disoriented feeling had left him, he could see Chanyeol still straddling his waist, looking down at him under the glow of the fireplace beside them.

“What are you doing, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun actually dared himself to ask, groaning and attempting to sit up but only ending up falling back down on his back onto the rug.

“I think you’re old enough to know what this is going to be,” Chanyeol answered, “After all, you do prefer men don’t you?”

 

Baekhyun’s half-lidded eyes were now wide open and his pupils round at the statement. Gone out the window was his plan to “befriend” this other Chanyeol.

Baekhyun couldn’t stay calm and the fight or flight response in him was immediately triggered to save himself. He couldn’t stay here, he knew.

“Chanyeol, we don’t have to do this,” Baekhyun attempted to squirm his way out from under Chanyeol but only ended up being pushed back down.

“Why not? You said we were friends,” Chanyeol sounded angry as he pressed down hard on Baekhyun’s arms, pinning Baekhyun down.

“I have never done this before. Please get off of me,” Baekhyun pleaded, trying to squiggle his way out but failing at that.

“There’s a first for everything,” Chanyeol smirked, moving one hand off of Baekhyun’s arm to hold Baekhyun’s chin in place.

 

Chanyeol pressed his face even closer and forcibly kissed Baekhyun, taking the younger man’s lips between his.

Baekhyun’s eyes were wide open in fear but Chanyeol had his own, closed. Baekhyun clawed on Chanyeol’s clothed back with his arm that wasn’t being pinned down.

Baekhyun had tears forming in the corner of his eyes and he couldn’t move his head away from Chanyeol either, especially not with how firm Chanyeol’s grip was on his chin to hold his face in place.

 

Baekhyun couldn’t breathe. Chanyeol was feverously strong and persistent even when locked in the kiss that Baekhyun didn’t want.

Baekhyun tried closing his mouth up but Chanyeol would pry it open anyway by forcing his jaw open by pulling down on his chin.

Baekhyun also tried pushing Chanyeol off of him but Chanyeol didn’t even budge or hitch once. Baekhyun blamed himself for being so small and weak compared to Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun saw-or rather felt a small opportunity when Chanyeol slipped his tongue into Baekhyun’s mouth.

Baekhyun clamped down and bit on Chanyeol’s tongue when it slipped past his lips.

Chanyeol flinched, pulling away from Baekhyun and cupping a hand over his mouth.

“What the fuck was that for?” Chanyeol roared, slapping Baekhyun’s cheek forcefully.

“Get off me,” Baekhyun cried out desperately, pushing his hands against Chanyeol’s knees.

“What is with you and biting?” Chanyeol hissed, taking off his shirt, pulling it above his head and winding the fabric around.

 

Chanyeol forced the shirt down Baekhyun’s mouth despite the latter’s struggles. Baekhyun tried closing his mouth and squirming under Chanyeol’s hold but he failed yet again and it felt like déjà vu to Baekhyun to have a piece of his own clothing stuffed down his mouth as a gag.

“You’re like a snappy little dog with a biting problem that needs to be muzzled,” Chanyeol commented, holding down Baekhyun’s arms and pressing his body weight down against Baekhyun’s chest to stop the smaller man from getting up and leaving.

Baekhyun could only release muffled groans and sounds of protest as he tried shaking his head side to side to remove the gag forced down his mouth.

The cloth tasted funny down his mouth and his tongue felt dry, flaky and uncomfortable against the fabric.

 

“You want this, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol insisted, unzipping the fly of his pants and pulling it down his hips where it settled around his thighs.

Using the lapse where Chanyeol didn’t have his hands on Baekhyun to unzip his pants, Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol off of him and attempted to run away stark naked back to his room. While running away, Baekhyun managed to pull the clothing out of his mouth and discarded it somewhere on the floor.

Baekhyun wasn’t planning on fleeing the mansion; he just wanted to hide until things settled down and it was safer to come out.

 

 

Thrown backward, Chanyeol fell onto the couch on his back while Baekhyun took off.

Chanyeol hissed, pulling his pants back up and zipping them before chasing after the naked Baekhyun whom he last saw running up the stairs and down the direction where the rooms were.

Chanyeol was fast and managed to catch up to Baekhyun before he slammed his door shut and locked Chanyeol outside away from him.

Chanyeol wedged a foot in the doorway, preventing Baekhyun from slamming the door shut and pushed the door back open with enough force to send Baekhyun stumbling and falling onto the floor.

 

Chanyeol laughed, stomping a foot down on Baekhyun’s chest to prevent the younger man from getting up, “You look pathetic, Baekhyun.”

“Stop it,” Baekhyun struggled.

“I will but only if you say yes. I told you not to say no, didn’t I?” Chanyeol pressed the foot down harder on Baekhyun’s chest, pressing his weight down uncomfortably and constricting.

Baekhyun gave in despite not knowing what it was Chanyeol really wanted the affirmation for. Exasperatedly, Baekhyun shouted back, “Yes”.

 

The word worked like magic and Chanyeol promptly removed the foot harshly stomped on Baekhyun’s chest.

Baekhyun quickly got up to his feet but it wasn’t long for Chanyeol to crowd him, pushing him back until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed.

Then, Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun down onto the bed where he fell back first. Baekhyun scampered away but Chanyeol caught Baekhyun by the ankles and flipped him over onto his stomach with ease.

 

Baekhyun grunted; face hitting the soft bed sheets under him, “I’m so tired of this, Chanyeol. Can we not do this now?”

“What are you talking about?” Chanyeol replied, pulling down his trousers all the way to his ankles before climbing on the bed to join Baekhyun.

“I’m so tired of having to fight and run away from you when you get crazy like this. It’s getting quite old,” Baekhyun was actually surprised with how honest he was being and how his fear and sense of urgency was masked by his frustration.

He too had a breaking point where he got fed up with everything around him, that ‘everything’ right now being Chanyeol.

 

“Then just shut up and take it. You said yes already.” Chanyeol commented, spitting on his hand and spreading the saliva on his fingers.

Baekhyun sighed, pressing his face against his arm in front of him on the bed. He wasn’t oblivious but he chose to be ignorant of it.

Baekhyun knew what was going to happen to him. He was going to get raped because forcing someone into consenting didn’t count as true consent at all.

Baekhyun had no way out of this. He gave up and although he didn’t want to accept it, he forced himself to tolerate it because he chose to be here with Chanyeol, fully knowing what he was getting into.

At least Chanyeol was nice to him for the most of it and there was that. Baekhyun cried into his arm and pretended like there wasn’t a pair of hands prying his butt cheeks open.

 

Baekhyun already hated himself for being so weak and helpless but at that moment, he gave up entirely. Baekhyun was too tired and he thought it would be easier to just get it done with.

 

Baekhyun screwed his eyes shut as he was on all fours with his butt up in the air while Chanyeol shoved a few fingers down his ass, scissoring the tight ring of muscles around his anus.

Chanyeol’s fingers were rough from all the scars he had on his hands. Baekhyun felt dry down there and it stung.

Baekhyun derived absolutely no pleasure from this.

The entire time, he pressed his face down on his arm as he tried to ignore what Chanyeol was doing behind there.

 

 

Baekhyun felt a larger stinging pain and his muscles constricting when Chanyeol pressed into him with what he knew was a penis for sure.

Baekhyun may have been a virgin but he wasn’t entirely clueless about how this worked. 

Baekhyun yelped, biting down on the bed sheets as he fisted the blankets in his balled fists as he was pushed forward at the first thrust Chanyeol gave him.

Baekhyun let out a silent scream when Chanyeol roughly pulled back before slamming back into him. Chanyeol had his hands firmly gripped onto Baekhyun’s hips, nails digging painfully into Baekhyun’s flesh.

 

Baekhyun barely felt anything except for how “obtrusive” it was as Chanyeol kept thrusting into him from behind.

Baekhyun bit back his cries and he could hear Chanyeol heavily breathing and gasping above him. At least there was one of them who was deriving pleasure from this.

This Chanyeol didn’t care the least bit for Baekhyun and he couldn’t even be disappointed at the lack of expressed concern.

 

Baekhyun only moved when he felt the pain on his hips unbearable. In fact, the pain from having nails dug into his hips was distracting enough for him to ignore the penis thrusting in and out of his gaping and abused hole.

Baekhyun turned around to remove Chanyeol’s hands from his hips but instead ended up locking eyes with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun regretted doing that because all he could see was Chanyeol ridden with lust with heavy-lidded eyes and hair that fell just above his eyes. Chanyeol was in a world of his own where Baekhyun was just a tool for his pleasure.

 

Baekhyun removed Chanyeol’s hands from his hips but Chanyeol moved it to Baekhyun’s back, pressing Baekhyun’s back down until it arched into a curve where Baekhyun felt his chest touching the bed.

This position was way more uncomfortable and Baekhyun wanted this to end soon already. With whatever strength he could muster, Baekhyun clenched down on Chanyeol, eager to make the older man finish already with the added tightness and friction.

 

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol thrust faster while breathing and moaning louder as Baekhyun tried his best to tune everything out.

Chanyeol shuddered and Baekhyun rasped, pressing his cheek on the bed sheets, “Are you done already?”

Chanyeol did not answer Baekhyun, simply thrusting a few times to ride out his orgasm before pulling out from Baekhyun and getting off of the bed.

 

Baekhyun felt relieved when Chanyeol finally came. Baekhyun slumped down on his side on the bed where he laid down staring into space with tired eyes and a blank mind.

Baekhyun was too numb to feel anything and too tired to deal with all of this.

The strength never left him. He never had it in the first place.

 

Baekhyun’s eyes felt heavy and he didn’t resist the feeling either, closing his eyes under the figurative weight he felt on his eyelids. Baekhyun just wanted to sleep and leave everything for tomorrow. There was nothing he believed he could do anyway right now.

Baekhyun passed out very soon, lying on his side still naked and very much used by Chanyeol who was still in the room with him.

 

 

Just after Baekhyun had almost instantly fallen asleep, Chanyeol slumped down on the floor near the wall in Baekhyun’s room and began to sob violently with a hand held over his mouth to drown out the sounds and not wake Baekhyun up.

Chanyeol hugged himself, muttering the words, “I’m sorry” over and over again under his breath as he shook his head and tried to deny what he thought happened.

Chanyeol never knew exactly what the other side of him did because he never remembered. Amnesia was a part of the disorder he had, something he was already accustomed to.

 

But the scene laid out in front of him and the physical evidence that remained gave Chanyeol clue pieces to what had actually happened.

Baekhyun lying down on the bed, naked and bruised with cum trickling down his legs from his hole was enough evidence that Chanyeol to know what he had done.

Baekhyun wasn’t the only person who hated himself in that room because Chanyeol also did hate himself.

 

“You should have taken me with you,” Chanyeol sobbed to himself, remembering his mother as he noticed the drapes on the window and wonder if the new railings would be able to support his weight if he hung from his neck on it.

Chanyeol didn’t feel like he deserved to be alive and in that moment, he wished for nothing but his own death.

 

But Chanyeol also felt that he couldn’t die right now not until at he had at least told Baekhyun about it.

Baekhyun deserved to know the truth at least, even if he failed miserably to provide for Baekhyun like he wished he had instead.

 

 

Chanyeol went down to the first floor where he saw Baekhyun’s laptop, pillow, clothing, and blankets discarded there on the table, couch and on the floor near the fireplace.

Chanyeol felt bad to see Baekhyun’s things down there while Baekhyun himself was passed out in the room on another floor. Chanyeol figured that Baekhyun must have wanted to sleep in front of the fireplace but then he had to ruin everything and somehow, Baekhyun ended up back in his room.

Chanyeol picked the items up and returned to Baekhyun’s room where he carefully lifted and placed Baekhyun’s head down on the pillow before wiping off the stains on Baekhyun’s thighs with a cloth.

Chanyeol too placed Baekhyun’s laptop back on his desk.

Chanyeol was careful to not wake Baekhyun up. If anything, he felt that Baekhyun deserved to rest now instead of being haunted by his presence.

 

Chanyeol placed the blanket down on Baekhyun’s sleeping figure and left Baekhyun’s room to lock himself in his own room.

The other Chanyeol did not come again that night, however, and Chanyeol was trapped in the prison he made for himself where he was also his own jailer.

Chanyeol too was exhausted.

 

 

 

The following morning, Chanyeol woke up on the carpeted floor of his room with sore eyes and a headache. He had drawn the curtains open last night and had not shut them because he had gone through a breakdown right before passing out on the floor.

The morning sun came through the windows and Chanyeol hated it, more with the pounding pain in his head.

But the thought of getting up and shutting the curtains was pushed to the back of his head when Chanyeol remembered about Baekhyun.

 

Chanyeol picked up the book from his desk which he had wanted to show to Baekhyun and promptly headed over to Baekhyun’s room.

Chanyeol reached in front of Baekhyun’s door and knocked a few times. He wasn’t really sure if Baekhyun would answer the door, however.

Chanyeol may not have remembered about what happened last night but Baekhyun sure as hell did.

 

 

If Baekhyun had already left, Chanyeol wouldn’t have been surprised but he was surprised indeed when he heard Baekhyun’s voice from behind the door saying that the door was not locked and Chanyeol could come in.

Chanyeol pulled down the door handle and stepped into Baekhyun’s room with the book in his other hand, where he found Baekhyun standing near the window and looking out at it.

 

“What do you want?” Baekhyun asked, sounding tired and unfazed.

Baekhyun looked rather solemn and weary, wearing a sweater with only one sleeve rolled up. His hair was uncombed and in a state of disarray on his head. Baekhyun was leaning his side against the wall near the window.

Chanyeol could see the fatigue and the tiredness in Baekhyun’s eyes even from afar. Baekhyun really looked like he was done with everything now.

It killed Chanyeol to look at Baekhyun in that state and he knew that it was his fault Baekhyun was that way.

 

Chanyeol gulped, swallowing a hard lump down his throat as he slowly approached Baekhyun and handed out the book with a stretched arm, keeping a good distance from Baekhyun.

The least Chanyeol wanted to do now was scare Baekhyun any further.

 

“What is that?” Baekhyun groggily asked, looking at the brown leather-bound book.

“Please open it,” Chanyeol requested. “This is what I wanted you to know before it’s too late.”

Baekhyun sighed, taking the book from Chanyeol and opening up to the first page where several pieces of paper and fell out from the book and onto the carpeted floor.

 

Chanyeol squatted on the floor to help Baekhyun pick the papers and pictures up. Baekhyun picked up a paper and read through it, his eyes still looking tired.

“I don’t understand this,” Baekhyun commented, sighing.

“You got your surname ‘Byun’ from your mother, am I right?” Chanyeol inquired.

“Yeah. I am an illegitimate child and my father died before I was born so I got her surname instead.” Baekhyun clarified. “What does this have to do with anything?”

Chanyeol handed Baekhyun another piece of paper while asking, “Do you remember your father’s name?”

“I do. My mom had his name written on the birth certificate even if they weren’t married.” Baekhyun answered, finding Chanyeol’s questions to be rather odd.

“Then read the father’s name on that,” Chanyeol instructed.

 

Baekhyun stood up, towering against Chanyeol for once, while the taller man was still squatting on the floor.

Baekhyun read the piece of paper he was given, “Okay, so this is a copy of your birth certificate and our fathers have the same name? Park is a common name.”

 

 

Chanyeol too stood up, now towering over Baekhyun by a good five inches as he handed Baekhyun another piece of paper, “Baekhyun if you don’t believe me, I have more evidence to show you that our fathers are the same man and that your mother used to work for my father at his company over twenty years ago, which was where they met. But this will be the most concrete evidence you ever need. I’m sorry that I took the liberty of going through your trash and collecting your nail clippings which I submitted to a DNA testing company for.”

Baekhyun tiredly glared at Chanyeol with a disbelieving and disapproving look, taking the other piece of paper Chanyeol had handed him.

 

Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows as he read the information printed on the paper. Baekhyun was bewildered and fear was clearly imprinted on his face as he grabbed the paper with both hands and reread the words to make sure he wasn’t reading things wrong.

The paper was scrunched under Baekhyun’s grip as he began to tremble and his mouth hung open.

“What is this, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun cried out in despair, flailing the paper around in his hand.

“We’re brothers, Baekhyun. We’re family. I’m sorry I took this long to tell you but I will explain everything, I promise.” Chanyeol was afraid to reveal.

“No. You’re lying. You fabricated all of this. I know you can because you have a lot of money.” Baekhyun denied, raising his voice.

“I would never do that, Baekhyun. I love you,” Chanyeol was afraid and he feared Baekhyun now more than everything.

“You’re a monster, Chanyeol. You don’t know what love is!” Baekhyun screamed, shoving the paper back towards Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun began to sob dryly, feeling his breath hitch in his throat as he began heaving uncontrollably.

Chanyeol tried to comfort Baekhyun by taking the younger man in his arms but Baekhyun only pushed Chanyeol away, shoving Chanyeol at the chest.

Chanyeol didn’t even budge from being shoved but Baekhyun ended up on his knees on the floor in front of Chanyeol, feeling nauseous from all the stress and violent sobbing.

Chanyeol retched and threw up, vomiting only water onto Chanyeol’s feet because he had not eaten that morning yet.

 

Chanyeol ignored all that, sitting on the floor even with his clothes being wet and soiled by Baekhyun’s vomit.

Chanyeol embraced Baekhyun, hugging the younger man tight as he cradled Baekhyun’s head near his chest.

Baekhyun felt like he was going crazy and he so badly wanted to shout and yell at Chanyeol but his voice would not come out anymore.

Baekhyun felt like he had lost it when he found comfort in Chanyeol’s arms, the Chanyeol who was also the source of his hurt.

 

If Chanyeol was crazy, then so was he slowly becoming.

 

 


	10. X

 

“I can explain this. Please listen to me,” Chanyeol pleaded to Baekhyun, picking up the scattered pieces of paper on the carpeted floor now also stained with Baekhyun’s vomit.

“I don’t want to listen to any of this anymore,” Baekhyun refused, stepping back towards a wall to put distance between himself and Chanyeol.

“But I can explain. You want the truth don’t you?,” Chanyeol sounded exasperated and desperate, holding the numerous pieces of papers in his hand.

Baekhyun sighed, shaking his head, “No! I’m not ready to listen to any of your explanations. I’m tired, Chanyeol. Please leave me alone.”

“Baekhyun, please give me the chance to explain all of this to you,” Chanyeol begged, walking towards Baekhyun and grabbing onto the other man’s arm.

 

Baekhyun continuously shook his head and began to sob, spilling tears. Baekhyun wasn’t a crier and rarely if ever cried but since coming here and meeting Chanyeol, he hadn’t been himself either too and Baekhyun found himself crying a lot there.

“No, this is too much for me to handle right now. I don’t want to talk about this now.” Baekhyun continued to refuse, speaking between his sobs. “Please leave me alone for now, Chanyeol. We’ll talk about this when I’m ready.”

“Really?”

“Chanyeol, just go”, Baekhyun was too tired to even look at Chanyeol to tell him to leave. He wasn’t just tired. Baekhyun knew that if he looked at Chanyeol, he would begin to feel bad for this man who claimed to be his older half-brother.

“Alright then. Let me know when you’re ready,” Chanyeol hung his head low, looking a bit dejected. “I’ll come back to clean your room first.”

“No. I’ll do it myself later. Just go.” This time Baekhyun sounded stern but still refused to look at Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol left the room, closing the door to Baekhyun’s room slowly and carefully. Baekhyun would have slammed the door in Chanyeol’s face if he had to close it.

When Chanyeol left and Baekhyun was alone once more, Baekhyun slumped down onto the floor with his back to the wall near the curtains that reached the floor.

Baekhyun grabbed the curtains with one hand, balling the thick fabric in his fist as he screamed out in frustration, letting his tears flow out without any restraint.

It was painful, physically and emotionally. Baekhyun felt like it was too much for one person for him to handle and he had no idea how to get out of this situation. This wasn’t like anything that happened to him before.

It made every other problem he had faced before seem small and trivial.

Baekhyun felt a myriad of emotions. He felt betrayed, angry, sad and even a tad bit hopeful for the uncertain future. It was overwhelming and Baekhyun didn’t know how to cope with this yet.

 

Baekhyun wasn’t able to get up to clean the mess of his vomit on the floor. By then it had long dried into flakes stuck onto the carpet with the retching smell now probably permanently imprinted on it. That didn’t matter.

Baekhyun got up from the floor with enough strength only to move himself to the bed and collapsed there again on the mattress.

His eyes were sore and so did his entire head because of crying too much. Baekhyun just wanted to stop the pain and stop himself from crying but he failed at that too.

Nobody hated Baekhyun more than he hated himself at that moment. Baekhyun only blamed himself.

 

 

Chanyeol heard Baekhyun’s screams from down the hallway as he was leaving. Chanyeol felt his heart wrench and a pit sunk to the bottom of his stomach when he heard Baekhyun-his younger brother’s painful screams.

Chanyeol was the one who brought Baekhyun here but he didn’t want it to be like this. This wasn’t what he had expected but Chanyeol knew he shouldn’t have out ruled the bad either, knowing full well the true nature of his other side that he couldn’t quite control.

Chanyeol knew what he was putting Baekhyun through just by having him here but still, he went along with it because he admitted to his selfishness.

 

Chanyeol entered the room adjacent to Baekhyun’s and slumped himself down near the wall that divided the room to Baekhyun’s.

Chanyeol knew that if he kept quiet and pressed his ears close enough, he could hear Baekhyun sobbing and talking to himself.

He had done this before but Baekhyun wasn’t exactly sobbing at that time.

 

 

This was his mistake and Chanyeol only blamed himself but he also felt like this was the only way he could ever have Baekhyun in this circumstances.

 

 

 

 

As the day progressed into night, Baekhyun still had yet to leave his room and Chanyeol, on the contrary, had spent his entire day outside his room waiting for Baekhyun to come out.

Chanyeol had prepared meals for two people and waited for Baekhyun to come down to eat but the latter never did. Baekhyun missed breakfast, lunch and even dinner.

Baekhyun almost never missed eating meals together on his day off. They would even split up the chores and Chanyeol did everything by himself that day.

There were three meals worth of food for Baekhyun wrapped in plastic wrap and arranged onto a shelf in the fridge, where Chanyeol stored it at to be reheated later if Baekhyun did decide he wanted to eat later on.

 

Chanyeol ate by himself and after finishing dinner, he went up to the second floor and knocked on Baekhyun’s door.

He had been giving Baekhyun space for the entire day and Chanyeol had begun to get worried, even though he knew that the biggest danger in the mansion to Baekhyun was none other than Chanyeol himself.

Nothing else was more harming and worrying to Baekhyun than Chanyeol and his other side.

 

“Baekhyun, are you awake?”, Chanyeol asked, knocking on Baekhyun’s door.

There was a lack of response, prompting Chanyeol to knock on the hardwood door again, this time louder and harder but without raising his voice.

“Baekhyun, are you alright?”, Chanyeol asked this time.

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun was heard hollering from the other side of the door. It did take him a few seconds to reply after Chanyeol’s second round of door knocking.

“I made dinner and there’s a lot of food for you in the fridge if you want to eat,” Chanyeol announced, leaning a shoulder against Baekhyun’s door.

“I’m not hungry,” Baekhyun yelled back.

Chanyeol sighed, leaning his head against the door, loudly replying, “If you’re not hungry, then why don’t you come out so we can talk?”

“Go away, Chanyeol. I still need to be alone,” Baekhyun answered back.

“If you change your mind, I’ll be waiting for you. I’m always ready to talk,” Chanyeol added, taking a deep breath before walking away from the door and leaving the area with heavy feet.

 

Sitting up on his bed and hugging a pillow to his chest, Baekhyun heaved a sigh of relief when he heard Chanyeol walking away from the door.

His head hurt less but the headache still lingered. Baekhyun had gotten up to check his own reflection in the washroom mirror a few times and he wasn’t surprised to see his own face, pale and tired looking back at him with swollen eyes.

 

Baekhyun lied. He was hungry actually but he didn’t want to risk running into Chanyeol that day. Although he knew Chanyeol was usually locked up in the room, Baekhyun didn’t want to take chances because if he did, he had no idea how to face the situation and “talk”.

And Chanyeol made it clear that he wanted to talk about things.

 

But what was there for Baekhyun to talk about to Chanyeol about? Baekhyun was on the fence about believing that Chanyeol was his half-brother.

It did feel nice to know that he wasn’t alone, that he actually had more family members that he knew he had.

 

But considering what Chanyeol had put him through and from his past experiences, Baekhyun was beginning to doubt if blood relations even mattered when putting a value on a person over another.

Sure, Chanyeol did hurt him but he didn’t drop Baekhyun either and made him feel betrayed like his mother did. Speaking of which, Baekhyun sure had a lot to talk to his mother about now and regarding his true origins.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the truth from Chanyeol or from his own mother. Baekhyun chose to procrastinate on learning the truth because it would hurt either way, even if he had to hear it from a complete stranger.

The life he had led for over the past twenty years suddenly felt fake and unreal. It seemed like other people knew more about him than Baekhyun knew about himself.

 

 

Like the average adult millennial who was procrastinating and being avoidant with responsibilities, Baekhyun spent his entire evening on his laptop, surfing the internet and replying to Kyungsoo’s emails.

Baekhyun wanted to tell Kyungsoo everything he just found out but Baekhyun decided against it even if he had usually been the type to overshare information and about things that happened to him recently, especially to Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun decided that he didn’t want other people to know about this. It was messed up and Baekhyun wasn’t sure if anyone would react kindly to hearing about what he had to say.

Especially the part where he was sure that he had been raped by his alleged half-brother whom he didn’t even know he had until that morning.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure how to talk about that.

 

 

As it got later and past midnight, Baekhyun finally gave in to his hunger and the rumbling stomach. He was stubborn but he wasn’t set on starvation.

Baekhyun left his room and he was relieved when he saw that the mansion was empty while making his way down to the kitchen. Baekhyun safely assumed that Chanyeol was locked away in his room and wouldn’t be leaving for a while.

Then again, Chanyeol worked in mysterious ways.

 

 

Baekhyun leaned over the edge of the countertop with his arms folded against his chest as he waited for his food to reheat in the microwave.

Baekhyun was beginning to feel tired and he had many reasons to be. Baekhyun glanced over at the time remaining on the microwave’s display panel and there was still a few minutes left because he had chosen the lower heating option.

Baekhyun closed his eyes for a moment while still leaning against the countertop, expecting the beep of the microwave to wake him up later in a few minutes.

 

But it wasn’t that that woke him up. It was the sounds of footsteps and the presence of another person entering the kitchen that did.

Baekhyun’s eyes followed Chanyeol’s movements in the kitchen but he remained unmoving near the countertop.

Baekhyun saw Chanyeol pulling out a glass and pouring himself water from the dispenser. Baekhyun didn’t move either when the microwave beeped.

It was Chanyeol who went up to pick up Baekhyun’s plate from the microwave, setting it down onto the small round table where they usually ate at in the kitchen since the dining room was usually reserved for occasions.

Chanyeol pulled out a chair for himself at the table before sitting on it with the glass of water in his hand.

 

“Aren’t you going to sit down and eat?” Chanyeol questioned, looking up at Baekhyun.

“I was but I didn’t think you’d come here,” Baekhyun commented, eyeing the exit and ready to sprint towards it if he had to.

“So you don’t want me around?”, Chanyeol grimaced.

Baekhyun sighed, “Are we really going to talk about this?”

“We are”, Chanyeol firmly noted, glaring at Baekhyun sternly.

“Fine”, Baekhyun gave in only because he was starting to feel frustrated, throwing his hands up in the air. “What do you want to talk about? How about the part where my ass hurts like hell and I had to crouch on the toilet floor to push my rectal tissue back in because you gave me a prolapse. I haven’t eaten all day because I was scared of going to the toilet later and dealing with that!”

“I’m sorry about that, Baekhyun, but it wasn’t me. I didn’t do that,” Chanyeol denied, now softening his expression and looking away from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun snickered, “Sure it wasn’t you but it was the same dick, wasn’t it? Do you even know what you are doing?”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand,” Chanyeol lowly muttered, tracing circles with his finger on the wooden surface of the table.

“You’re right about that. I don’t understand,” Baekhyun stated confidently.

 

Chanyeol abruptly stood up, knocking the chair back and letting it fall to the floor with a loud thud behind him.

Baekhyun straightened his posture, standing at attention when he saw Chanyeol getting up from the seat. Baekhyun was ready to turn on his heels and run but if that failed, Baekhyun had a set plan in mind to rummage the drawer for a kitchen knife to use in self-defense.

He had even thought of an explanation to tell the police if he had to use the knife against Chanyeol.

 

“I just want us to stay here like a family, as brothers!” Chanyeol raised his voice, booming at Baekhyun.

“If you knew we were brothers, then why have you been keeping it a secret from me all this time?!” Baekhyun roared back.

“I just didn’t know how to tell you about it,” Chanyeol lowered his voice.

“Tell me about what? That you’ve been stalking me and uncovering information about me?” Baekhyun shot back.

“I only did it because I wanted us to be together as a family. You’re the only person I have left in this world and I have been looking for you and now that I found you, I just wanted us to be together,” Chanyeol vehemently insisted.

“Brothers don’t fuck each other, Chanyeol!,” Baekhyun screamed, furious and approaching the table where he slammed his fist down upon it.

 

The plate and glass on the table rattled with the force Baekhyun sent down when he slammed his fist on the table.

Chanyeol flinched a little and took half a step back, surprised at Baekhyun’s outburst, having not expected Baekhyun to lash out like that.

Chanyeol was stunned and at a loss for words. The silence from his part felt heavy but all Chanyeol could do now was gulp and try to not act timid in front of Baekhyun.

He knew he was in the wrong and that he could not defend himself further because that would be vile and pathetic of him.

 

“Say something!”, Baekhyun demanded, screaming, swinging his hand and knocking the glass over onto the table where the water spilled over onto the floor.

The glass soon followed suit, rolling onto the floor where it shattered into pieces on the tiled floor at their feet.

“I have nothing to say”, Chanyeol muttered, hanging his head low and avoiding Baekhyun’s gaze. “This is my fault. I’m sorry.”

 

Chanyeol rolled up the sleeves of his light yellow sweater to his elbow and kneeled down on the floor in front of Baekhyun to pick up the shards of glass with his bare hands.

Baekhyun was quiet and unmoving, watching with a keen eye as Chanyeol collected the shards and bits of broken glass on the floor.

Baekhyun was sure that he had been in a similar situation like this one even if the circumstances may have been different.

Why was it that Chanyeol always seemed and looked like the pitiable one? Who was really the victim here?

 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure anymore and he couldn’t help the awful feeling rising within him either. He actually felt bad and a pang of guilt to see Chanyeol on his knees picking up after the mess Baekhyun had made.

In his head, Baekhyun had been trying hard to demonize Chanyeol because it was the only way Baekhyun could actually feel like he was the victim which he sure he was. If not, Baekhyun would just end up feeling bad and sorry for Chanyeol despite everything that happened to him.

Did Chanyeol even deserve to call himself a victim too?

Then again, this wasn’t the same Chanyeol that hurt him, was it? Baekhyun couldn’t decide because essentially it was the same person but at the same time, they weren’t.

 

Baekhyun couldn’t clearly decide but he found himself on his knees anyway, joining Chanyeol on the floor as he passed a mitten to Chanyeol and helped his supposed brother pick up the shards of glass and wipe away the spilled water.

Chanyeol gladly accepted Baekhyun’s help.

Maybe Baekhyun was afraid of what would happen next. Maybe he did feel bad for Chanyeol. But Baekhyun knew that it would take a while for him to be able to think clearly after all this.

 

As Baekhyun was clearing up the kitchen and keeping everything in place, Chanyeol approached him from behind and immediately took Baekhyun’s hand into his, holding it tenderly as he inspected Baekhyun’s hand by running his fingers against the skin.

“Did you get hurt yourself?”, Chanyeol asked, softly, bringing his voice down almost to a whisper.

“No”, Baekhyun quickly answered, pulling his hand away from Chanyeol’s hold. Baekhyun quickly followed up with, “I’m fine.”

Baekhyun quickly returned to folding the trash bags so he could properly stack it in the drawer, paying no heed to Chanyeol standing close behind him.

Baekhyun was caught by surprise when he felt a weight on his shoulders and arms circling around his waist.

Baekhyun glanced over his shoulder to see Chanyeol lowering his head, resting his forehead on Baekhyun’s shoulder while his arms were wrapped around Baekhyun’s waist from behind.

 

“Please don’t leave me, Baekhyun. You’re all I have now. If we can’t be brothers, then can we just be friends?” Chanyeol pleaded, pulling Baekhyun in close.

Baekhyun resisted against Chanyeol, however. Baekhyun pushed himself away from Chanyeol out of the latter’s hold.

“Not now, Chanyeol. I can’t deal with this right now.” Baekhyun replied, closing the drawer shut and taking a few steps back. “We’ll talk about this later on but not right now.”

“I’ll wait for your answer then,” Chanyeol stated, fidgeting and grabbing onto the hem of his sweater.

“What is it exactly do you want an answer for?” Baekhyun questioned, turning his head to the side to look at Chanyeol.

“-whether you want to stay with me here as friends or brothers,” Chanyeol replied, looking towards Baekhyun. “I understand if you don’t want to accept me as your brother but we could at least try to be friends like we already are, can we?”

Baekhyun dryly chuckled, sarcastically mentioning, “What’s the difference anyway?”

Chanyeol, however, took Baekhyun’s statement seriously, replying, “If you agree to it, I’ll get my lawyer down here so I can arrange to make you my legal beneficiary and you will be in charge of my estate if anything happens to me. This will all be yours, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun scoffed and chortled albeit sarcastically, “So you’re treating me like that and giving me everything you own, now that it’s out that we’re related by blood? Even though I barely know you still? You’ll find out that sometimes blood relations don’t mean shit. The mother whose womb I came from doesn’t even want anything to do with me.”

 

Chanyeol ignored Baekhyun’s protests and grabbed onto Baekhyun’s hand, holding the hand firmly and placing it against his chest.

“Then I can give you what everyone else could never give you! I can do it, Baekhyun!,” Chanyeol confidently announced.

Baekhyun only broke out into laughter, shaking his head, “You are trying to be funny, aren’t you?”

“I’m serious, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol added, holding onto Baekhyun’s hand pressed to his chest-tighter.

“This is a bit too much for me to process right now,” Baekhyun stopped laughing and his face dropped into a frown.

Baekhyun pulled his hand away from Chanyeol’s grasp and headed out of the kitchen to go back to his room, leaving Chanyeol standing there alone and high-strung.

Chanyeol did not chase after Baekhyun this time even if Baekhyun was half-expecting it to happen.

 

 

Baekhyun found it hard to fall asleep that night, resulting in him being awake until the wee hours of the morning as he rolled over in bed and tried to find a position that was comfortable enough for him to fall asleep in.

Maybe sleeping with the lights on could have contributed to Baekhyun not being able to fall asleep but Baekhyun sure as hell wasn’t going to leave the lights off not until now.

Baekhyun wasn’t afraid of the dark, he was afraid of what-or rather the person in it.

 

Just when Baekhyun thought that he had managed to fall asleep; he was awakened by the loud and sudden clapping of thunder and the sound of heavy raindrops that fell on the rooftops and splattered against his windows.

Baekhyun pressed a pillow against his ear and rolled over on his side before he managed to fall asleep.

 

The next morning, Baekhyun woke up and felt something damp beneath him on his sheets. His pants were considerably damp too.

The first thought that came to Baekhyun’s head was that he had been wetting himself in his sleep.

Baekhyun had stopped bed-wetting since he was five and that was over fifteen years ago. Baekhyun wasn’t convinced that that was the case.

Baekhyun was actually more surprised that he had been able to sleep through that because the dampness on the sheets and his pants were rather uncomfortable.

 

It was strange but everything in the mansion had been “strange” since he arrived anyway.

 

“I can’t live like this anymore,” Baekhyun sighed, pressing his palms to his face as he bemoaned his fate.

It wasn't just about the bed. It was everything else too. Baekhyun knew this had to stop eventually. 

 

 


	11. XI

 

Baekhyun got dressed, ready to go out that morning and ignoring the wet stain he found on his bed. He couldn’t care about that now. Baekhyun knew he had to get out of the house and spend some time outside before being locked up in the mansion any longer drove him crazy.

Baekhyun was convinced that Chanyeol’s crazy probably stemmed from that but then again, it was not like Baekhyun knew a lot or understood mental health problems.

Because staying in the mansion or not would never fix Chanyeol’s problems.

 

Baekhyun quietly shut the door to his room, making sure to make as little noise as possible. He didn’t really want to talk to or face Chanyeol at the moment.

The door to Chanyeol’s room at the end of the corridor was locked shut and there were no sounds coming from it either.

Baekhyun didn’t know if Chanyeol was in his room or not but he didn’t want to stick around to know or discover it.

That didn’t matter.

 

Baekhyun was already starting to feel relieved when he began to move away from his door; down the hallway and heading to the stairs to the first floor because it seemed like he could get away without running into Chanyeol.

That belief changed fast, however. Baekhyun sighed to himself when he heard Chanyeol’s door unlock and swung open from behind.

“Where are you going?”, Chanyeol muttered, peeking from behind the door left half open.

“I’m going out,” Baekhyun lazily replied, only glancing over his shoulder for a moment to look at Chanyeol. At least this Chanyeol seemed safe at least.

“Where to?”, Chanyeol further asked.

“I want to visit Kyungsoo at work. I haven’t seen him in a while and then I think I’ll go around town and see if there’s a job vacancy I can apply for.  It bores me to sit around at home not doing anything,” Baekhyun informed.

“Oh”, Chanyeol gaped, “If that’s what you want then let me at least drop you off wherever you want to go.” Chanyeol offered.

“That’s alright. I can take a cab,” Baekhyun tried to decline.

“No, I want to drop you off. I have to go to town to get some supplies too so I might as well,” Chanyeol clarified.

 

Baekhyun knew that he would just be going back and forth with Chanyeol about this until the end of the day if he didn’t give in and accept Chanyeol’s help.

Chanyeol wasn’t sane enough to be the one giving in and Baekhyun knew he had to compromise with that.

“Fine”, Baekhyun surrendered, “I’ll wait for you outside the garage.”

“Okay, give me a few minutes to get dressed. I’ll be right there,” Chanyeol smiled faintly before shutting the door to his room.

 

 

Baekhyun opened the garage doors wide open and stood there in the driveway, waiting for Chanyeol even in the chilly weather of early March.

Baekhyun made sure to double check that he was not wearing a belt either.

Since then, Baekhyun had been taking these precautions and those who did not understand or knew what he had been through, Baekhyun would have seemed a bit paranoid and irrationally fearful.

 

 

In the car ride on the way to the coffee shop Kyungsoo worked at, Baekhyun spent the entire time with his elbow leaning against the window and staring out the window, purposely avoiding meeting Chanyeol’s gaze.

Baekhyun was ready to unlock the doors and jump out any moment if dangerous Chanyeol decided to appear right there and then.

Baekhyun appeared calm on the outside but inside his head, he had come up with the possible scenarios and how to deal with it in the case that he was going to get assaulted again.

It was hard for Baekhyun to feel truly comfortable and ease around Chanyeol even though he managed to mask his discomfort from his outward expression and body language.

 

Chanyeol cleared his throat as he shifted the gear stick. This normal action made Baekhyun jump slightly, especially because he had been too occupied in his thoughts of “what if” instead of “what is”.

“Are you alright?”, Chanyeol questioned.

“Yeah…” Baekhyun replied.

“I’m sorry if I startled you there,” Chanyeol apologized.

“Don’t worry about it,” Baekhyun brushed it off, sitting up straight and adjusting the seatbelt that was wrinkling the material of his jacket.

“You look like you have something on your mind. Is there anything you want to talk to me about?”, Chanyeol inquired, watching Baekhyun from the corner of his eye for just a moment before returning his attention to the road in front of him.

“To tell you the truth, I do have a lot of questions for you actually,” Baekhyun blurted out, instantly regretting that decision.

Chanyeol paused in his speech before speaking up again, “Well, you can ask me one by one and I’ll see if I can answer your questions. I’ll try my best to do so. I want us to be closer to each other after all.”

 

How much “closer” Chanyeol actually meant, Baekhyun didn’t really want to know but this was a window of opportunity for him to actually ask one thing that had been on the top of his head, above all the others.

And Baekhyun sure had a lot of questions that were still unanswered, some of which he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to after all.

 

“I do have this one question,” Baekhyun began, “It seemed too unreal to be a coincidence that I ended up renting a room at your place and that we are actually half-brothers. It’s not a coincidence, isn’t it? Baekhyun glanced to the side, briefly looking at Chanyeol in the driver’s seat beside him.

Chanyeol gulped, hands firm on the steering wheel and eyes focused on the road in front of him before he answered, “No, it is not. You are right about that.”

Baekhyun dryly chuckled, “So you planned all of this? How? Why?” Baekhyun was more perplexed than ever and now he actually wanted the answer to all of this.

“I always knew about your existence because my mother never hid the fact that I have a younger half-brother from my father’s affair. But I never cared to look for you or even try to until my mother passed away six years ago. I had no family left and I thought of you so I tracked you down but you were only fifteen then and still in school.” Chanyeol informed, “I wanted you to move in with me since then but because of your age, I decided to wait a few more years.”

“Why wait? If you really wanted to know me, you could have at least introduced yourself first so we got to know each other since we’re family and everything?” Baekhyun questioned.

“I did think of that but I was scared you wouldn’t accept me and push me away,” Chanyeol revealed.

“Then?” Baekhyun pressed on. “How did all of this end up happening away?”

“Then, earlier this year, I found out that you didn’t live with your mother anymore and that you were bunking in with Kyungsoo for the time being because you had been kicked out of your home. I hired a private investigator who bought your step-father a few drinks at the bar he usually goes to and he talked very fast about it. That’s how I found out.” Chanyeol answered, feeling guilty and a bit wary of Baekhyun’s reaction to the truth.

Baekhyun dryly chuckled, “Why am I not even surprised?”

“When I found out that you were looking for a new place to stay, I bought all the advertisement spaces for property rentals in the newspaper for many weeks. I hired some college kid I found on Craigslist to make fake house rental advertisements for me to run in the newspaper. The only real one was the advertisement I ran for the room in the mansion.” Chanyeol further added.

Baekhyun began laughing and slapping the dashboard in front of him. If it was funny, it was dry humor but Baekhyun was laughing because he couldn’t believe that such a thing would actually happen and to him at least.

“Are you mad at me?”, Chanyeol questioned meekly, twisting the cover of the steering wheel in his grip.

Baekhyun answered, “No. This is hilarious actually. I can’t believe you’d go through all that just so I would move in with you. No wonder I ended up being directed to voicemail for the other two places I called. What if I ended up calling the listings on the internet instead?”

“I ran those fake advertisements on the local listings for property rentals too,” Chanyeol deadpanned. “If that didn’t work too, I would have tried other options.”

“You have too much money for your own good,” Baekhyun shook his head, disapprovingly. “You know you could have just introduced yourself to me as my long lost brother and I would have actually tried to get to know you.”

“I didn’t think of that,” Chanyeol almost disappointedly replied. “I was too focused on getting to you.”

“For someone so eager to get to me you sure did take your sweet time to tell me that we’re related,” Baekhyun mentioned sarcastically.

 

 

Baekhyun quickly got out of the car when they pulled up in front of the coffee shop Kyungsoo worked at.

Kyungsoo was wiping the windows when Baekhyun arrived and he managed to catch a glimpse of Chanyeol from the car too.

Baekhyun mentioned that he would be getting a cab to get home but Chanyeol insisted that he would pick up Baekhyun an hour from then, and Baekhyun had to give in again.

For that one hour, he was free outside the mansion and away from Chanyeol and that was something at least.

 

“Hey”, Baekhyun lifted his hand, greeting Kyungsoo from outside the coffee shop.

Kyungsoo nodded and smiled back.

Baekhyun entered the coffee shop and ordered a glass of milk tea before taking a seat at his usual spot in the corner of the shop, which he always sat at when he dropped by there.

“I’ll talk to you in a bit. My break is in twenty minutes,” Kyungsoo informed, wiping Baekhyun’s table.

“Sure, take your time,” Baekhyun replied.

 

The twenty minutes didn’t take long and before Baekhyun knew it, Kyungsoo was hanging up his apron and employee hat, putting down his own cup of tea on the table before taking the seat in front of Baekhyun.

“You look tired, Baekhyun. How is everything going for you?” Kyungsoo asked as he poured out milk from the jug into his cup of tea. “I saw your roommate dropping you off.”

“Yeah. I can’t find a car yet especially now that I’m unemployed,” Baekhyun muttered, stirring his cup of tea repeatedly even after it had since cooled down and the contents already mixed well.

“Not looking for a job?”

“I am. I just have a lot on my head,” Baekhyun enlightened.

“You do look like you have a lot in mind,” Kyungsoo seemingly agreed with Baekhyun, “You look tired, Baekhyun. Are you okay?”

“I am miserable,” Baekhyun announced, his face harboring a tired expression indeed.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard you say that even after everything you’ve been through,” Kyungsoo recalled.

“You study Chemistry, don’t you? Can’t you recommend me something to poison Chanyeol?” Baekhyun bemoaned.

“You are funny, Baekhyun. You’ll go to jail for that, do you know that?” Kyungsoo took Baekhyun lightly. “Besides, Chanyeol looks like a nice guy. He even drives you around. Do you still think he’s some sort of madman?”

“I guess I’ll just stick to rat poison then like the people in the news use to kill,” Baekhyun snickered, dryly.

“I know you’re joking but don’t tell anyone else about that. They might take you seriously,” Kyungsoo warned, sipping the tea from his mug.

“Haha, of course,” Baekhyun followed up, “So, how have things been with you? Is everything good with Sojin?”

“It’s fair I’d say,” Kyungsoo muttered, staring into the cup of his tea.

If only Kyungsoo knew, Baekhyun thought.

 

 

But Baekhyun was half serious and a bit more serious in contemplating it. Baekhyun excused himself from Kyungsoo early, wanting to leave the coffee shop and heading somewhere else before   Chanyeol arrived to pick him up.

Baekhyun jogged down the streets, heading to the home improvement store which he knew was right around the corner. He had to do it as fast as he could before Chanyeol even realized he wasn’t at the coffee shop.

Chanyeol probably wouldn’t have minded that Baekhyun dropped by at another store but it was what Baekhyun was going to do, which was why Baekhyun needed to be as discreet as possible.

 

Baekhyun approached the designated counter to buy what he needed and hid it in the inner pockets of his jacket.

It was a small and light box of rodenticide, otherwise known as rat poison. But as Baekhyun was walking away from the store and heading back to the coffee shop, the light box felt heavy and unsettling against his chest.

 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure where he was going with this or how he intended to go about it. He hadn’t actually put much thought and consideration into the idea of poisoning Chanyeol.

It was a spur of the moment thought which seemed a bit attractive and alluring, especially when Baekhyun attributed doing it so he could finally be free from the misery that was plaguing him; that being Chanyeol.

Baekhyun didn’t want to live like that anymore and that was the only thought on his head and it was a thought so strong that he didn’t even think of the consequences he would have to face for doing so.

 

 

When Chanyeol’s car pulled up on the curb in front of the coffee shop, Baekhyun promptly got in through the passenger door, trying hard to act as if he wasn’t planning on doing something probably detrimental to his alleged half-brother.

“Did you have fun? Do you want me to drop you off elsewhere? You did say you wanted to go and look for a job vacancy,” Chanyeol inquired.

“Yeah, it was good. I got to talk to Kyungsoo and I uh…I did ask a store about a job position and they said they’d get back to me so no, I think I’m good to go home now,” Baekhyun was lying but Chanyeol did not know that.

For the first time in a while, Baekhyun actually wanted and was eager to go home back to the mansion because he had a plan he wanted to exact.

“Sure then, I’m done getting supplies too so we should go home,” Chanyeol chimed in, smiling, feeling a bit lighter to hear Baekhyun in somewhat better spirits than earlier on.

“Oh, what did you get?”

“The roof has been leaking so I got some stuff to repair the leak. It’s all in the trunk,” Chanyeol noted. “It’s almost spring and if I don’t fix it by then, we’re going to have a wet time at home. I’d rather fix it myself than let someone else do it,” Chanyeol playfully added.

“Sounds good. You can go fix the leaks while I make dinner tonight,” Baekhyun offered, with a smile that he himself wasn’t sure whether it was genuine or otherwise.

 

 


	12. XII

 

Baekhyun stood in front of the boiling pot of soup on the stovetop, contemplating his next action and whether he should be going about it.

It did seem like a lucrative decision which would result in him being free from the torment of Chanyeol’s instability and unpredictability.

Only now did Baekhyun think about the consequence should he do so. He didn’t know how to hide a dead body for sure and if he just ran away after that, the police would still track him down as he was the last person known to live with Chanyeol.

He could call the emergency services and then pretend to break down in tears while telling the paramedics that he had no idea how it happened.

Chanyeol did have a mental history after all and lying to them that Chanyeol did it himself didn’t seem too far off from reality.

But above it all, Baekhyun would have to bear the weight of murdering a person, another human being who was also his family.

 

Sure, Baekhyun resented his mother and disliked his step-father but he wouldn’t wish death on them either.

Baekhyun wanted to be free and felt like what he was doing was worth it but where would he go after all this was done, and that was assuming he managed to get away with murder?

There was a high chance he would get caught and imprisoned with a life sentence for murder and he would be wasting his life rotting away in a prison and forever branded as a murderer.

If he did get away with it, he didn’t have anywhere to go. Baekhyun had only one friend, Kyungsoo, who he could actually rely on and even Kyungsoo didn’t dare to go against his girlfriend who disliked Baekhyun’s guts.

Going back to his mother was out of the question. She obviously loved her step-son more than she loved or cared for Baekhyun at that point.

 

The reality was that Chanyeol was the one who gave him somewhere else to go, somewhere else to belong, someplace to call home and someone to call family.

 

Baekhyun wasn’t ready to deal with the consequence of his actions and stuffed the small box of rat poison back in the pocket of his trousers before returning to cook unlaced soup that was safe for consumption.

 

Chanyeol certainly didn’t notice that Baekhyun was up to something, certainly not something as heavy as planning to kill him.

Dinner went well and nobody has to be poisoned from consuming the soup that Baekhyun had prepared.

Baekhyun did feel a pang of guilt from what he had almost attempted to do to Chanyeol.

It was easy to plan and conspire to harm someone from afar but when Baekhyun got to see Chanyeol’s soft smile and the warm and fuzzy way he talked to Baekhyun over dinner, Baekhyun felt relieved that he ended up not going through with it after all.

But with the good view he saw of Chanyeol, Baekhyun didn’t forget the hurt and misery that also came from the said same person.

Baekhyun tensed up and balled his fists up below the dining table. He resented Chanyeol but he also pitied Chanyeol.

Baekhyun started to believe that maybe the air in the mansion was making everyone in it crazy, himself included now.

 

 

 

It began to rain later that night when Baekhyun was alone in his room and Chanyeol off to goodness knows where because Baekhyun couldn’t care about that now.

Baekhyun was sitting cross-legged on his bed with his laptop in front of him as he was browsing online stores to order a cheap replacement for his phone which had been stolen by a homeless hippie a few weeks ago.

Baekhyun was hoping he’d find a job first before he decided to buy a new phone because, without a source of income, his meager savings was only going down when he spent.

Baekhyun did feel like he needed a phone urgently because of the situation he lived in and how he always had to be on alert and cautious. It would be handy to have a phone he could carry around with especially in emergency situations like when the dangerous Chanyeol decided to hurt him again.

 

By then, Baekhyun had even forgotten about his plan to poison Chanyeol at dinner. The box of rat poison was somewhere at the back of the drawer Baekhyun used to keep his socks and boxers, piled under the heap of clothing.

Baekhyun didn’t completely forget about his intention, it was more than simply brushing the thought off because he didn’t actually go through with it in the end.

 

 

As Baekhyun was browsing through the choices displayed on the online store, he heard the sounds of water dripping and hitting a surface.

Initially, the sounds were rather faint and drowned out by the rain outside, causing it to go unnoticed by Baekhyun.

When Baekhyun did finally notice it, it was because a drop of water fell from above him and onto his head.

“Hmm?” Baekhyun patted the top of his head where he was sure he felt water drip and sure enough, the top of his head was damp.

“Shit,” Baekhyun muttered to himself and quickly moved his laptop away from the bed and onto the shelf to avoid getting water damage to it.

 

Baekhyun looked up the ceiling and sure enough, it was leaking and dripping water from the plaster ceiling overhead and down to his bed below it.

Now that it was raining heavily, the leak was more and very noticeable, dripping single drops of water in quick successions onto the comforter sheets of his bed.

 

 

Baekhyun contemplated a few things; whether he should call Chanyeol to fix this, whether he should sleep in another room or on the couch in front of the fireplace.

Remembering that the last time he tried sleeping near the fireplace, he just ended up getting cornered by the dangerous Chanyeol; Baekhyun decided against it.

Baekhyun fetched a bucket from the broom closet and placed it on his bed below the leak to collect the rainwater.

Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen around the mansion when Baekhyun had left his room to go and look for the bucket.

 

Knowing that it would be impossible for him to climb up to the roof and fix the roofing shingles in the middle of the night and in the unfavorable weather, especially considering how high up the roof was due to the sheer size of the mansion; Baekhyun decided that he could at least climb up to the attic space and see if he could find out where the leak was coming from.

Baekhyun planned on finding out and telling Chanyeol about it tomorrow since Chanyeol was going to be fixing the leaks anyway.

Baekhyun now regretted not telling Chanyeol earlier on that the roof over his room needed fixing too.

Then again, Baekhyun had been busy contemplating on killing Chanyeol to think of that.

 

 

Now, Baekhyun had to figure out how to actually climb up to the attic space between the roof and the ceiling.

There was no ceiling door from his room but Baekhyun found one in the room beside his, which Chanyeol had once said he’d consider renting out too.

But Baekhyun knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon now. Chanyeol never wanted new friends or renters, he just wanted Baekhyun there and he got that now.

 

 

Baekhyun retrieved a step-ladder and flashlight from the storeroom and used that together with a shelf to help hoist himself up through the small latch opening to the attic space.

It wasn’t as dusty as Baekhyun thought it would be up there but it was indeed louder because of the pounding rain and from being directly below the roofs.

It was much cooler and draftier in the attic too, Baekhyun noticed.

Baekhyun turned on the flashlight, illuminating the empty and spacious attic space filled with wooden and concrete beams that supported the roof and ceiling up.

 

Baekhyun found the leaking part fast enough and took note of it so he could deal with it tomorrow. That wasn’t what caught his attention the most, however.

The attic was dark as expected, which was why Baekhyun brought the flashlight with him and for a while, Baekhyun did not notice that there was a light coming from the ceiling below him somewhere a bit further down from he was.

The light wasn’t coming from the room he had climbed from either. If Baekhyun were to try and visualize where the rooms were from the attic, the light seemed to be coming from what he thought was Chanyeol’s room.

 

“No”, Baekhyun told himself, whispering quietly under his breath.

Chanyeol was creepy enough and Baekhyun feared what he would discover would disturb him more.

But still, in such a situation where he was already walking around on eggshells, Baekhyun decided it was better to at least know what would be coming so he could at least take precautions around that.

After all; Baekhyun did not stop wearing belts, waiting outside the garage, stopped drinking wine and avoid sleeping out in the open for nothing.

Those were all precautions because like the famous quote; those who do not learn from history are bound to repeat it, the quote which Baekhyun took quite to heart.

 

Baekhyun carefully headed to the source of the light coming from the ceiling below him as he slowly walked on the large wooden beams, making sure to not make any noise because he couldn’t and didn’t want to be confronted about this later on by Chanyeol.

As Baekhyun approached the source of the light, Baekhyun could see the moving shadows reflected on the insulating roofing of the attic above him.

Baekhyun was quiet and indeed he was quiet enough to hear the sounds coming from what was a small gap in the ceiling.

 

Baekhyun squatted and saw that it was a small access door to the ceiling much like the one he had climbed in from but this time, it was the one above Chanyeol’s room.

The small access door was one that needed to slide open and close, and it seemed like it didn't slide fully shut, leaving a gap for the light from the room below to come through.                                          

 

Baekhyun recognized the interior below as Chanyeol’s room for sure.

Baekhyun’s curiosity got the better of him and he peaked through the small gap and looked.

 

Baekhyun saw Chanyeol in his room, standing still and facing a corner in the wall. Baekhyun continued watching and Chanyeol remained there in that position, unmoving and still.

It was odd but it wasn’t like Chanyeol hadn’t done “odd” things in the past.

Baekhyun felt like he had overstayed his welcome in the attic and that he should leave and pretend like he saw nothing.

 

 

Then; Chanyeol laughed to himself, still facing the wall, and Baekhyun felt goose bumps on his skin. Things had gone from odd to eerie pretty fast.

Baekhyun knew he had to go now and quickly got up from his squatting position only to fall back down on his butt on the wooden beams with a loud thud sound.

Baekhyun scampered to get back up again and when he did, he immediately fled the scene; quickly lowering himself back down onto the step-ladder and shutting the access door.

 

Baekhyun almost rushed out of the room but turned back to grab the step-ladder, turn off the lights and return to his room.

Baekhyun hoped and wished very hard that Chanyeol didn’t know or suspected that he was up there.

 

But when Baekhyun had managed to calm himself down; he realized that the access doors in the ceilings were how the dangerous Chanyeol still managed to get out, even through the security doors that was allegedly supposed to keep him in.

Baekhyun was never safe after all. It was all just an illusion and that was a fact he should have acknowledged already because no matter how much precautions he took, they never seemed to be enough.

 

Baekhyun scrambled through his drawers for the rat poison and held the small purple box in his hands with the numerous warnings printed on it.

If he was unsure then, he was a bit surer to poison Chanyeol now.

 

 

 

Baekhyun woke up late the next morning and it was still raining. Baekhyun was convinced that if the rain lasted any longer, a flood warning would probably in order but he would most likely be safe from nature’s wrath here in the mansion but certainly not from Chanyeol.

Baekhyun slipped the box of rat poison into the back pocket of his trousers and went down to the first floor where he was instantly turned to the sound of the melody of the piano in the living room.

“Oh shit, he’s up,” was Baekhyun’s first thought.

 

Baekhyun knew the piano was right beside the stairs landing on the first floor and he would have to sneak past Chanyeol with the offending box of poison in his back pocket before he could get to the kitchen and lace something to feed it to Chanyeol.

It was now or never, however, and Baekhyun took a deep breath before walking down the staircase with his hands on the railing and greeting Chanyeol when he came into the vicinity.

 

Chanyeol was focused on the piano, playing out a tune which Baekhyun had never heard of before. In any other situations, Baekhyun would actually be impressed and proud to have a musically talented brother but certainly not now.

Chanyeol stopped to look up at Baekhyun on the bottom rung of the stairs and smiled, “Good morning to you too, Baekhyun.”

“Did you have breakfast yet?”, Baekhyun asked, pretending like he actually wanted to know. If Chanyeol didn’t, that would be his window of opportunity to offer to make the meal and exact his plan.

“I actually have. I made extra for you so you can heat it up if you want to,” Chanyeol answered.

 

Well, that didn’t work out for Baekhyun but he quickly thought of something else.

“Okay then, I’ll go have breakfast. Do you want me to make you a drink, perhaps? I’ll bring it here,” Baekhyun offered.

“Sure, I’ll take that,” Chanyeol gleefully replied before returning to continue the melody he was playing on the piano.

That one did work at least.

 

 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure how rat poison tasted like and he didn’t want to find out either. Baekhyun did worry that it would greatly alter the taste of the drink he intended to serve to Chanyeol, and possibly arouse Chanyeol’s suspicions.

Baekhyun did know that the boxed orange juice in the fridge was very sour and bitter, so much that the taste hardly changed much even when heavily diluted.

Hoping that the strong taste would not change much, Baekhyun placed a few of the tablet looking blocks into the orange juice before stirring it up until it dissolved into the liquid.

 

Baekhyun still had more but he was wary of putting too much in just yet. He planned to do it over a course of a time until Chanyeol finally gave way to it.

Baekhyun still felt bad for Chanyeol and didn’t know how he would deal with his brother’s death, but Baekhyun chose to put himself over everything else and handed the glass of laced orange juice to Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol took the glass of orange juice into his hand after thanking Baekhyun and was about to drink it down before he decided to put it on the lid of the piano instead.

“Say, do you know how to play the piano?”, Chanyeol promptly asked.

“No, I don’t. My mother couldn’t afford to send me to music classes and my step-father wouldn’t let me either,” Baekhyun shook his head, feeling quite anxious about the glass of orange juice left unattended. He didn’t want to insist that Chanyeol drank it because that probably would trigger some alarms.

“I see,” Chanyeol nodded, understanding, “If you want to, I can teach you or I can send you for music lessons. I can do that for you. I can give you everything that you couldn’t have.”

 

Wish fulfillment would have sounded nice but it only served to make Baekhyun feel bad and horrendous towards Chanyeol.

Here, Chanyeol was willing to do anything Baekhyun asked for, and Baekhyun just felt like he was the farmer in the fairytale who slaughtered his golden goose to get more golden eggs but ended up with nothing.

But of course, Baekhyun had to pay the price for it; which was Chanyeol’s existence.

 

Chanyeol moved to the edge of the piano stool and patted down the cushion, beckoning, “Come sit here. I’ll teach you.”

“I think we should do it later. I still haven’t had breakfast yet too.”

“Right. I forgot about that. I’m sorry,” Chanyeol apologized, smiling it off, “That was silly of me. Go ahead and have breakfast. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

 

On the contrary, Baekhyun was hoping that Chanyeol wouldn’t be “there” when he was done with breakfast.

“Sure, I’ll see you in a bit then,” Baekhyun excused himself away, trying hard to control his body language and not make it too obvious that he felt jittery.

Chanyeol smiled back warmly, “Have a good breakfast. I really love you, Baekhyun.”

 

Chanyeol’s words brought a lot of weight to it, a weight so heavy that Baekhyun couldn’t carry.

It wasn’t just heavy. It stung and dug into his heart painfully and Baekhyun began to see how haunted he would be if he had to continue living with the fact that he killed Chanyeol; his brother, his friend for half the time and probably the only person who loved him still.

Chanyeol hurt him too but Baekhyun’s guilt and conscience won that day.

 

Chanyeol had stretched his arm out to reach for the glass on the lid of the piano when Baekhyun quickly ran back to the piano and grabbed the glass from Chanyeol’s hand, tossing it to the carpeted floor below.

The glass did not break but all the laced orange juice was spilled onto the carpet.

“What was that for?”, Chanyeol looked startled but his concern went to Baekhyun instead. “Are you alright? Is there anything going on?”

 

Baekhyun began to tremble, “I-I’m sorry. I couldn’t do it. I can’t. I’m horrible.”

“What’s wrong? Baekhyun are you alright?” Chanyeol stood up from the stool and grabbed Baekhyun’s hand, holding it in his, reassuringly.

“I’m sorry. I tried to poison you,” Baekhyun choked out.

 

 


	13. XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> messily unbeta'd because I'm half asleep

 

Baekhyun’s revelation was a slip-up and through the sheer pressure of the situation, he found himself blurting out the truth he didn’t want to be revealed.

But it was too late and Baekhyun only realized that once he heard himself say it out loud.

Baekhyun’s hand flew to his mouth, cupping his mouth and eyes round in horror at what he had said. Words were powerful indeed and Baekhyun had already taken a step forward onto a path he couldn’t back out from now. The damage had been done.

 

Chanyeol didn’t believe Baekhyun at first, however.

Chanyeol chuckled, “You’re joking, aren’t you?”

Baekhyun did not know how to respond to that now. He could just lie straight through his teeth and say “No” and he would probably be off the hook so he would get assaulted another day, or he could actually say “Yes” and push Chanyeol away as the final straw.

Whatever it was, Baekhyun had to come up with an answer, and although his hands were now removed from over his mouth, all he could manage was only the sounds of stuttering and hesitation.

 

 

Chanyeol sat back down on the piano stool, looking up to his younger brother and calling out, “Baekhyun? What is it? I know you won’t do that me, will you?”

Baekhyun sighed and then took a deep breath in. Baekhyun’s left hand was balled up into a fist and he had to look away from Chanyeol to admit, “I can’t take staying with you here anymore, Chanyeol. I’m constantly on edge and I don’t even know when you’re safe or dangerous for me to be around with. I can’t even relax since I can never know and it’s just…miserable! I don’t want to live like this anymore, Chanyeol! I don’t want to be with someone like you!”

Baekhyun knew he sounded harsh and probably hurt Chanyeol’s feelings and he felt bad for that but he had to do so. Baekhyun saw this as an opportunity for him to finally get out and away from Chanyeol.

Baekhyun didn’t have anywhere to go in particular if he left but he was now more willing to deal with that over dealing with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun was sure of it this time.

 

Chanyeol took a few moments to fully process what Baekhyun had just told him. Chanyeol looked confused, lost and somewhat scared.

Baekhyun hated this when Chanyeol seemed like the victim and Baekhyun the offender. Baekhyun was trying hard to convince himself at that point that he is the victim, not Chanyeol.

 

“I don’t want to believe this, Baekhyun. Please tell me it’s not true,” Chanyeol pleaded, shaking his head as his breath hitched in his throat.

“It’s true. This is the reality. I don’t think I should be staying here any longer after all. It’s not going to work,” Baekhyun expressed.

 

It felt like Baekhyun was breaking up with Chanyeol when he said all that even if that wasn’t the case. The thought only depressed Baekhyun further because it shouldn’t have to be that hard.

Chanyeol began to cry, holding his face in his hands, “Why would you do this to me? Don’t you know how much I love you?”

“You say that but you haven’t actually done anything to show me that you love me, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun admitted. “You know you are dangerous and you should probably be getting help but all you do is force your problems on me.”

“I tried. I didn’t want you to get rid of me.  I didn’t know anything else I could do to make you stay,” Chanyeol sobbed, tears rolling down his cheeks and wetting his long-sleeved shirt.

Baekhyun heaved, feeling awful for Chanyeol but knowing even though it was a hard pill to swallow, he had to do it.

“I’m tired of this, Chanyeol. I don’t want to live like this anymore.” Baekhyun declared.

 

Chanyeol quickly got off the stool, pushing it backward where the piano stool landed on the carpeted floor together with the glass and the stain of the laced orange juice.

“Why would you do this to me!?” Chanyeol cried out in a crying and devastated mess.

Baekhyun was more taken aback now than sorry for Chanyeol, considering how Chanyeol reacted to all of this. Baekhyun had actually expected to get hit so he could use that as an excuse to be getting the fuck out of there.

But Chanyeol being that way now, Baekhyun wondered if all he thought about even applied to the current situation.

This wasn’t going as planned and Baekhyun didn’t know what to do now.

 

Chanyeol stormed out of the living room and ran towards the front door. Baekhyun followed from behind, curious to see what Chanyeol would actually do now that Chanyeol was the way he was; a bit more pathetic and less dangerous.

Chanyeol swung open the heavy doors and ran out in the pouring rain, leaving the door hanging open on the hinge.

Baekhyun had to hold the door to stop it from slamming into the wall as he stared in disbelief, watching Chanyeol run out into the rain and into the garden that was overgrown and untended to.

 

“What the fuck?”, Baekhyun cursed under his breath.

This was a bit surreal and Baekhyun still had a hard time to believe that it was actually happening in front of his eyes.

 

Baekhyun wanted to laugh but before he could even do that, his face was straightening up again because it would seem rude to do so.

This was when he saw Chanyeol crying by himself in the rain, dropping to the ground on the wet soil and sobbing his heart out.

If the rain wasn’t loud enough, Baekhyun would have been able to hear Chanyeol’s pretty awkward crying.

Was this even the Chanyeol he knew? It didn’t seem like it all and Baekhyun started to wonder if Chanyeol had developed another personality from his disorder.

That seemed like the most plausible explanation now.

 

 

Baekhyun didn’t know what to do and he was already used to being lost at what to do since moving in with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun chose to not be bothered about Chanyeol’s behavior because it would only fuel to hurt his head and probably his body too.

Lately, Baekhyun found himself believing in the phrase that some secrets are better left undiscovered after all.

 

 

Baekhyun closed the front door but not fully, leaving it just slightly open so Chanyeol would know it wasn’t locked and could come back inside whenever that was.

Baekhyun then cleaned up the mess near the piano and discovered that it was a pain to clean up carpet stains especially when it came to orange juice.

But he did take responsibility for that because he acknowledged it as his fault.

 

Baekhyun poured open the box of rat poison over the toilet bowl before flushing it down and later scrubbing the toilet clean.

Baekhyun burnt the box the rat poison came in with a matchstick in a ceramic bowl before throwing away all the ashes into the trash can and then tying up the garbage bag.

Baekhyun was just trying to clear up evidence of his attempt to poison Chanyeol but the thought in his head of what he was going to do would not go away easily, however.

Now, Baekhyun sort of regretted it.

 

Chanyeol left the house and Baekhyun knew because he later went down to check and saw the door still as much open as he left it to be.

Baekhyun didn’t see Chanyeol where he was last at, somewhere under a tree crying.

It had stopped raining and the chilly weather in early spring, especially after the rain, actually began to make Baekhyun worry about Chanyeol who might be somewhere out there in the weather, most likely still drenched wet from the icy rain.

 

Baekhyun grabbed his boots and a jacket from his room on the second floor and ran all the way down again while cursing the mansion for being so large before rushing out the door and shouting out Chanyeol’s name.

Baekhyun searched the yard and the plain grassy area behind the mansion but he saw no one and certainly no Chanyeol either.

Baekhyun passed by in front of the garage door and saw the large shutter doors wide open and Chanyeol’s car missing from its usual parking spot.

Baekhyun sighed, kicking dirt on the ground and running a hand through his hair, “Where did he go now?”

 

 

 

Baekhyun stayed up that night, sitting on a loveseat beside the stairs where the house phone was situated near it, just in case Chanyeol would call the phone which he never did before. Nonetheless, Baekhyun still waited.

Baekhyun was now worried for Chanyeol and what his unpredictable older brother was up to; more than he was actually worried for his impending fate for continuing to remain there at the mansion and not getting the hell out already.

Baekhyun attributed it to his feeling of guilt for attempting to poison Chanyeol earlier on. Surely, he couldn’t be this caring and concerned for Chanyeol, could he?

No phone call came in that night and Baekhyun soon left the loveseat to return back to his room and go to sleep, without Chanyeol ever returning for the night.

 

 

 

Baekhyun woke up the next morning where the clouds outside were grey and looking like it would rain again soon. Chanyeol was right for one thing about the monsoon season being here.

Baekhyun placed the bucket back under the leak he had yet to fix, now that he was too traumatized to tell Chanyeol about the secret doors in the attic and at what he had discovered while up there.

 

Baekhyun went down to the garage and saw the doors were still left open since neither him or Chanyeol had bothered to close it, Baekhyun because he was scared of what had happened before.

Chanyeol’s car was still not there and that would make it an entire day since yesterday morning that Chanyeol was gone.

Baekhyun began to panic. Chanyeol had never been gone this long before. Not that Chanyeol even left the house often to add with.

 

 

Baekhyun dashed to the phone before realizing he never memorized Chanyeol’s phone number and had no way of contacting Chanyeol because the latter wasn’t one to be using social media either.

Was Chanyeol missing? Was he safe and alright? The thought circled Baekhyun’s mind endlessly with the possibilities.

Then, Baekhyun paused and wondered why he even cared or worried.

 

Wasn’t this what he wanted? To be free from Chanyeol and not having to worry which side of Chanyeol decided to make an appearance.

Suddenly, it didn’t seem bad after all and Baekhyun could see the good in having Chanyeol gone after all.

The feeling didn’t last long because Baekhyun soon found himself worrying yet again over Chanyeol and he was utterly confused as to why he was even feeling that way.

Everything was a circle and Baekhyun only found himself running that figurative path only to end up back where he started. Something had to be changed.

 

 

Baekhyun continued his day, as usual, burying the thought of Chanyeol in the back of his head whenever he found himself worrying.

Baekhyun wanted to believe that Chanyeol was alright out there but he didn’t care what Chanyeol was up to and if he would ever be coming home.

 

 

It got late enough that Baekhyun was already getting ready for bed when he heard the sounds of knocking on his bedroom door.

Baekhyun had just changed into new clothes after taking a shower and was in the midst of drying his hair with a towel before he could lie down to sleep because god forbid he went to bed with damp hair.

But who could it be other than Chanyeol who was knocking the door? There was no need to guess for that.

 

Baekhyun hung the towel around his shoulders and unlocked the door; feeling irritated enough to shout at Chanyeol for just upping and disappearing on him like that.

Then again, Baekhyun didn’t want to be grouchy and completed the entire cycle he had been trying to break out from.

 

Baekhyun slumped his shoulders when he answered the door, seeing Chanyeol stand there in a light gray sweater and holding up a piece of rectangular paper.

Chanyeol looked rather tired, and the look was most evident in his eyes. Baekhyun had seen Chanyeol when he was good and when he wasn’t so good but never when he was tired. Chanyeol’s hair was also noticeably uncombed and quite disheveled.

Chanyeol saw Baekhyun from behind the door and smiled weakly, holding up the paper, “You’re still here.”

“Yes, I have. You haven’t been,” Baekhyun noted, standing straight behind the door which he only left half-open.

“I wanted to give this to you before you go,” Chanyeol handed the paper to Baekhyun with a stretched arm.

 

Baekhyun took the paper into his own hands and saw that it was a check written out to him for an amount worth two years of his annual salary at his previous warehouse job.

Baekhyun would have been surprised had this happen to him four months ago before he met Chanyeol but now he just felt numb and unemotional at the money presented to him.

Because Baekhyun realized that even with all of Chanyeol’s money, it could not buy Chanyeol his sanity or the genuine company of a person he wanted so badly.

 

“What is this for?”, Baekhyun’s eyes fluttered to look up at Chanyeol’s obviously tired eyes.

“It’s enough money for you to live on your own for a while since you plan on moving out from here. You said you didn’t want to be around me anymore, after all. I was away because I have been meeting up with my assets lawyer and soon I can have everything in your name too. Until then, I think that should be enough for you,” Chanyeol replied unenergetically.

Baekhyun looked back at the check and then at Chanyeol, “Aren’t you trying to stop me from leaving?”

Chanyeol sighed, “I can’t force you if you don’t want to. I want a friend, a companion and not a prisoner after all.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Baekhyun snarled.

“Maybe. I know I’m not the best of people,” Chanyeol downright stated before asking, “Are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Yup. I’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Baekhyun confirmed. Baekhyun haven’t had a set date on when to leave, and it had been pushed back when Chanyeol decided to disappear without explanation; but now that Chanyeol was back and Baekhyun was sort of financially secure, Baekhyun saw no more reason to stay.

It was now or never for Baekhyun.

“Okay then. I assume you’ll be taking a taxi and not want me to drive you?”

“That is right,” Baekhyun replied.

Chanyeol paused, eyes still tired but fixed on Baekhyun, “I probably won’t be awake yet when you leave tomorrow morning, so I just want you to know that I love you. I hope you’ll call me sometime or write to me.”

“We’ll see,” Baekhyun answered, but he wasn’t so sure himself.

 

Baekhyun didn’t see it coming when Chanyeol planted a chaste kiss on his cheek before pulling away almost after.

Baekhyun was caught by surprise and took a step back, holding his cheek. Baekhyun was afraid that he was going to get hurt and reacted so as a defense instinct.

But when Baekhyun realized that Chanyeol had meant no harm-this Chanyeol at least, Baekhyun began to feel bad and sorry all over for Chanyeol.

 

“We’ll still be friends after this, won’t we?”, Chanyeol distraughtly asked Baekhyun.

“We’ll see,” Baekhyun answered, shutting the door.

 

 

Baekhyun would be free the next morning once he managed to leave, he believed. But it still didn’t erase the fact that the one more night he had to brave through then suddenly got a little bit harder to bear now that he knew that being safe was always just an illusion.

Baekhyun began to wonder that after he had been and braved through, was total freedom even possible now?

 

 


	14. XIV

 

With only one cardboard box which he could carry by himself without help, Baekhyun left the mansion he lived in with Chanyeol on another cloudy overcast morning. Baekhyun also left quite a bit richer than when he first arrived.

Chanyeol did not come to see off Baekhyun the morning he left. Baekhyun didn’t bother to tell Chanyeol either that he was leaving when the taxi arrived to pick him up in front of the gate.

It was easier this way. Baekhyun didn’t want his complicated feelings and possibly the other dangerous Chanyeol to hold him back.

It was never easy to escape one’s abuser.

 

Without looking back; Baekhyun stuffed the box with his clothes, laptop, and important documents into the trunk of the taxi with some help from the driver before getting into the cab and telling the driver where he was headed off to.

Baekhyun could care less about the details as long as it was somewhere away from this mansion and away from Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun still had some of his things left behind at the mansion but they were non-essentials which he could do without for now. He would just have some movers come later on to move those items.

What mattered the most now was getting away from Chanyeol and from that cursed mansion, that seemed to consume the minds of anyone who stayed there long enough.

Maybe Baekhyun was right about it being cursed all along. That was a better explanation to not deal with.

 

Baekhyun’s lease at Chanyeol’s mansion was now automatically null and void. Baekhyun didn’t have to return there anymore and didn’t have to see Chanyeol or deal with his “sides” anymore.

 

 

Baekhyun instructed the cab driver to drive him to a four-star hotel in the city center; where Baekhyun had a room booked for a few nights while he settled on a more permanent residence.

Upon arrival there, the concierge at the hotel lobby helped Baekhyun carry up his box and showed him to his room.

Once Baekhyun was alone in the hotel room; where he was far away and free from Chanyeol, Baekhyun began to feel utter relief and happiness for the first time in a while.

It was strange to feel it again when he thought he had lost the capability to feel such a way.

 

Baekhyun danced and skipped in joy around his hotel room and rolled himself over on the freshly made bedsits and blankets.

It felt like freedom and bliss. Baekhyun never thought he’d ever feel this way ever again but yet here he was.

If this was a dream, Baekhyun never wanted to wake from it, even if it meant living a lie. Some things were meant to be kept a secret and Baekhyun had already broken that rule once by knowing too much about Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun had cashed in the check already and the amount transferred into his personal bank account.

Baekhyun bought himself a new phone with the money and immediately texted Kyungsoo, telling his best friend that he had moved out and was now looking for a new place to live.

At this point, Kyungsoo was honestly already used to Baekhyun’s sudden jump here and there from one place to another and doing this one time and the other next time.

 

Maybe, Baekhyun could begin to rebuild his life now and actually start over anew. He had failed previously but maybe not this time.

This time, it felt real.

 

 

 

With the money Chanyeol had gifted him; Baekhyun was able to put down a few months of rent in before securing a lease for a one-bedroom ground floor apartment somewhere in a middle-class residential area.

The apartment even came with a nice view of the courtyard from his room. Sure, the apartment was smaller and wasn’t some fancy mansion with tens of rooms and designated rooms for hobbies and leisure, but all that didn’t matter now.

Baekhyun had also managed to get his current lease through a friend of Kyungsoo’s whose father ran a real estate agency.

Baekhyun was sure as hell not going to consult the local newspaper and ad listings for a new place.

He learned his lesson from dealing with Chanyeol.

 

 

Baekhyun had sort of expected Chanyeol to write him letters or text him but none of that ever came. Then again, Baekhyun did realize that Chanyeol probably did not know his new address or phone number, and the thought comforted him.

But there was a gut feeling inside him that knew that Chanyeol could and would probably be able to dig out that information if he ever wanted to.

Baekhyun was free now but would he ever be totally free? Maybe in death, he finally would. But what if an afterlife existed and Chanyeol was there too? Maybe Baekhyun was cursed after all.

 

 

In less than a month since moving out away from Chanyeol, Baekhyun managed to get a job as a waiter in a bistro that opened in the evening and closed in the early hours of the morning.

With a stable income, Baekhyun was also able to get a small loan for a used car that was way better than the old scrap of junk he used to drive.

Baekhyun didn’t feel just free. He felt independent and on his feet again, even with the help of Chanyeol’s money to help him start off with.

 

Baekhyun began to realize how trapped and dependent he felt when living with Chanyeol. While there, he had no job and lacked the funds to just move out and leave. It was also Chanyeol who insisted that he did not find a job and lived on the money that Chanyeol provided.

Without the money, a job, and a lack of a car, Baekhyun was stuck almost the entire day in the mansion with Chanyeol who never seemed to leave either. Which in turn gave more time and window of opportunity for Chanyeol to “mess” with Baekhyun.

Baekhyun called it so because the price of his freedom now did come heavily indeed. No matter how hard Baekhyun tried, he could never and completely forget Chanyeol.

 

The looming fear that Chanyeol had the power and capacity to come at him whenever served to haunt Baekhyun like a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from.

Maybe Baekhyun did want to wake up from that dream after all.

 

 

                                                                                                                   

 

On a Saturday evening about three months since Baekhyun had moved out; just as the bistro Baekhyun worked at was preparing to open up, Baekhyun was busy putting out the chairs and tables for the guests who chose to sit outside.

As Baekhyun was laying out the table clothes and putting up the blackboard outside for the pub’s today’s special, Baekhyun swore he saw the glimpse of Chanyeol’s car driving by on the road in the corner of his eye.

Baekhyun’s head immediately shot up and he looked out to the road frantically, almost panicking. There were a few cars parked on the street and a few more passing by but none of them was Chanyeol’s car.

Chanyeol drove an expensive luxury car which wasn’t very common on the road, giving Baekhyun all the reasons to suspect that it was Chanyeol’s and not anyone else.

Clutching in his hand one of the checkered tablecloths he had yet to lay out on the table, Baekhyun’s heart began to race and he was cold sweating in the humid air in the late afternoon of July.

Baekhyun didn’t want to believe it was Chanyeol. He didn’t see Chanyeol anywhere in view now anyway.

 

It scared him but until the day Baekhyun actually saw Chanyeol standing in front of him; Baekhyun refused to believe of Chanyeol, even if it meant completely erasing Chanyeol’s existence, even if Chanyeol was his own blood.

Forgetting and denial was the only coping method that Baekhyun could come up with. Little did he know that it wasn’t really the best of options.

 

As it neared closing time; which was sometime around 1 am on a weekday, Baekhyun was wiping the empty tables when he heard the doorbell above the door ring to signify someone had walked in.

Baekhyun looked up to see who it was, expecting the last customer of the night but only to see Kyungsoo instead.

“Hi there,” Kyungsoo greeted, lifting his hand and taking a seat at the bar.

“Kyungsoo? I’ve never seen you awake around this hour even on a weekend. You were always the first to go home even when we went out drinking because you were scared Sojin would scold you,” Baekhyun noted, chuckling to himself as he approached Kyungsoo with a pen and paper, asking, “Do you want to order anything?”

“That’s the thing. I got into a fight with Sojin over some stuff and I got angry so I walked out of the apartment to cool off and I thought I’d come see you since I’m out this late anyway,” Kyungsoo replied, ordering a glass of beer.

“Are you sure? Don’t you have to drive back?”, Baekhyun cautioned, hesitating to jot down Kyungsoo’s orders.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo sighed, pressing his face into his hands, “Just a small one then. Nothing enough to buzz me out.”

“Okay then,” Baekhyun took note. “Let me get your order and clear up the tables. My manager is a cool guy. He’ll let me talk to people once I finish my work.”

 

 

To end the shift, Baekhyun’s manager allowed him to have a free beer together with Kyungsoo.

After hanging up his apron and clearing his duties for the day, Baekhyun took a seat beside Kyungsoo at the bar to have a drink together until official closing time. The last order time had already passed by so Baekhyun wouldn’t have to attend to other customers as it was just Kyungsoo and the other staff left there.

“If you don’t have any place to sleep at tonight, you can stay over at mine. I have a spare travel mattress I could lend you. The air conditioning is good too since it’s pretty humid tonight.”  Baekhyun offered.

“Nah, I don’t want to trouble you. I think I could grovel at her feet and apologize for blowing up like that over something so small. Maybe she’ll let me sleep on the couch then,” Kyungsoo decided to resign himself to.

“You helped me when I was at my tough times, Kyungsoo. I owe you for that. It’s fine. You can sleep over at my place tonight,” Baekhyun assured.

“You’ll lend me a towel and something to wear too, right? I really need to shower,” Kyungsoo gave in, taking up Baekhyun’s offer.

“Of course. We are the same size after all so that helps.” Baekhyun mentioned. “Just give me about ten minutes. I’ll close up shop and then you can follow me with your car back to my place,” Baekhyun got up from the bar and began collecting their empty beer mugs.

“Sure,” Kyungsoo agreed, “…by the way, has Chanyeol been talking to you lately?”

 

Baekhyun stopped dead in his tracks, just a few feet away from the bar counter with the empty beer mugs in his hand. Baekhyun was just about to head to the kitchen when Kyungsoo’s question froze him where he stood.

“No”, Baekhyun paused, “-why?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just got curious since he seemed pretty close to you when you two were staying together. He drove you everywhere and when your phone was still busted, I called the phone at that mansion and he always answered and seemed to know whatever you were up to when I asked,” Kyungsoo stated. “I just figured he would stay in contact with you.”

“Chanyeol is dangerous, Kyungsoo. It’s best if you ignored him if you run into him,” Baekhyun expressed.

“You still believe that, don’t you? He seems fine to me,” Kyungsoo chuckled.

 

 

As planned, Kyungsoo ended up sleeping on a spare travel mattress in Baekhyun’s living room after using the shower and borrowing a t-shirt and shorts.

Kyungsoo also left the next morning, still wearing Baekhyun’s clothes with the promise to return it after laundry day next week.

Kyungsoo left rather early in the morning when Baekhyun was normally still asleep as he worked nights; as Kyungsoo wanted to try and make amends with his girlfriend, Sojin before she left for work.

As Kyungsoo was leaving Baekhyun’s apartment in the borrowed clothes and was fumbling with the keys to unlock his car parked on the street, Kyungsoo swore he was being watched.

 

Kyungsoo quickly entered his car and locked all the doors before looking around and seeing nothing to be suspicious about.

While starting his engine, Kyungsoo saw from his window, an expensive white sedan car drive by beside him before speeding off down the street.

“Doesn’t Chanyeol drive a car like that?” Kyungsoo wondered but quickly brushed it off, “Well. It could be anyone. He’s not the only one who can afford that car.”

 

 

 

When Baekhyun walked into work an hour before opening that day, he saw the shop owner sitting near a table in the corner and talking to a well-dressed man who looked like he was trying to strike up a business deal for sure.

“Who’s that?”, Baekhyun asked his manager in the staff room behind the dining area.

The bistro manager; a plump man in his forties, shook his head, “There were some talks about the change of ownership. I think the boss is selling the place to some other business.”

“How will that affect us? Are we going to be retrenched?” Baekhyun questioned, putting his apron over his white dress shirt.

“I’ve worked here for fifteen years now with three different owners. Unless whoever buys this place decides to close it up, then we should be good.”

“I see,” Baekhyun nodded in understanding, lowkey still feeling nervous about losing another job because the circumstances at his last job really proved how unlucky he was at holding a job.

The manager laughed, “Don’t worry. Unless the next manager is a deranged psycho, there’s nothing to worry about.”

 

At least, Baekhyun somewhat knew a psycho if he had to deal with one more again. Then again, Baekhyun didn’t really plan on staying at the job if it turned out to be so.

In fact, Baekhyun had decided that he wasn’t going to take any more of the abuse and mistreatment anymore even if it meant cutting out people he loved out of his life.

Baekhyun could only wish that when the time came for him to actually stand up for himself, he would be able to do it and proved he wasn’t just all talk.

 

 

 

The summer monsoon season began its course when the humidity quickly changed to the damp air of pounding rain from the black skies that night as Baekhyun got off his shift.

Baekhyun quickly ran out of his car to the front door of his apartment unit, wanting to reach the shade quicker before he got anymore drenched by the rain.

“Whew”, Baekhyun heaved in relief, turning on the lights in his apartment and locking his front door shut.

Baekhyun wasn’t tired yet and he had the next day off, so he thought of taking a shower before watching a few shows and then going to bed.

After taking off his wet shoes and putting them on the mat near the door, Baekhyun threaded on the wooden floorboards to his room and put his phone down on the desk beside the window.

 

The curtains were drawn only half open so Baekhyun could see the dim view of the apartment’s courtyard, illuminated by garden lamps under the rain.

A flash of lightning was seen, followed by the roaring of thunder. The brief split second of lightning lighted up the view outside and for a while, it looked like day outside to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun only hoped the clapping of thunder wouldn’t wake him up when he went to sleep, later on, hoping that the rain wouldn’t last that long in the first place.

 

Baekhyun bent over his desk below the window to look for his charger. Just when he had found it, Baekhyun lifted his head and was facing the window yet again when another flash of lightning illuminated the courtyard view and he saw the figure of a person wearing a raincoat standing right in front of his window.

Baekhyun was caught by surprise and jumped back, falling onto the bed behind him when his knees hit the edge of the bed, startled.

Falling back onto the bed was a good jerk reaction because just a few seconds later; when the sound of thunder was heard, the glass on Baekhyun’s window was smashed open with what appeared to be an axe by the person wearing the raincoat.

That was one of the downsides of cheap housing, even the glass wasn’t durable.

 

Baekhyun’s phone was on the desk just below the window and he couldn’t get it now to call the police for help.

Baekhyun’s next option was to run out of his apartment and bang on his neighbor’s door for help, hoping some of them were still awake.

 

Baekhyun ran out his room and locked the door to buy himself time before running to the front door. But by the time he had swung the door open to run out his apartment, Baekhyun came face to face with the person in the raincoat who had caught up to him, the axe still in the said person’s hand.

In the light, Baekhyun could see the person’s face and he couldn’t mistake what he saw. After all, this was his brother, Chanyeol.

 

“I missed you, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol sighed, breathing heavily.

“Uh…I don’t,” Baekhyun bluntly replied.

 

 


	15. XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains graphic assault.

 

Baekhyun tried pushing past Chanyeol and was about to open his mouth to yell as loud as he could in the apartment hallway to wake his neighbors up and get help, despite not being really confident that they could hear his pleas of help above the sound of the rain and clapping thunder especially at this time of the night when almost everyone was in their rooms and fast asleep.

Chanyeol was sturdy and tough as a wall, however. With his body blocking the doorway, Baekhyun was prevented from leaving.

Baekhyun could not push past Chanyeol or even make him budge, and when Baekhyun resorted to shouting for help, Chanyeol immediately clapped a hand over Baekhyun’s mouth; effectively silencing Baekhyun.

 

With a hard shove, Baekhyun was pushed by Chanyeol and fell onto his back on the floor, unable to break his fall.

Chanyeol shut the door behind him but did not lock it in place, before putting the axe down on the floor, leaning it against the wall.

“I have you now so you aren’t going anywhere,” Chanyeol declared, taking off his wet black raincoat in the middle of Baekhyun’s living room and throwing it onto the floor where it landed somewhere near the doormat. Underneath, the raincoat, Chanyeol was wearing a white dress shirt which was tucked into a pair of black trousers with a belt worn around the waist.

 

Baekhyun had stopped wearing belts since that one blizzard day and even changed his entire wardrobe so he wouldn’t have to wear pants that needed a belt, but he didn’t think that Chanyeol would be the one to wear the belt.

The painful memory of being choked by a belt didn’t sit too well with Baekhyun and it was a trauma he had yet to overcome.

 

Baekhyun got on all of fours before quickly trying to push himself into a standing position. His next plan was to run back into his room and jump out of the smashed window to get help.

That didn’t sound too safe either but Baekhyun sure as hell didn’t want to be here anymore than he wanted to get hurt jumping from a broken window. At least his apartment was on ground level so there was that.

 

Baekhyun made the dash to his room but before he could even lay his hands on the knob to push the door open, the axe came flying from behind him and landed right in the door where it was embedded in the wooden surface of the door, narrowly missing Baekhyun’s face by a few inches.

Baekhyun may have been lucky enough to miss the axe but a wooden splinter that came apart from the door was embedded into his hand, about a few inches long but not reaching an inch in diameter.

 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Chanyeol hissed, closing the gap between himself and Baekhyun. Chanyeol yanked onto Baekhyun’s hair, pulling his head backward and hurting his scalp from how close he was pulling onto Baekhyun’s roots.

Baekhyun winced, hands immediately flying behind his head to yank his hair away from Chanyeol’s grasp, despite the painful wooden splinter embedded into his hand.

“Let go of me. Why do you keep doing this to me?” Baekhyun cried, struggling against Chanyeol. “What have I ever done to you?”

 

“You left me. We are brothers and friends but you betrayed me,” Chanyeol grumbled, accusing Baekhyun. “You said you couldn’t stand living with me. Then, I can’t stand what you have done to me.”

Chanyeol kicked the back of Baekhyun’s knee, causing Baekhyun’s legs to buck under him. Chanyeol still held on tight to Baekhyun’s hair, not letting Baekhyun fall to the floor but pulling harsher against the scalp, hurting Baekhyun even more.

“You are crazy! You’re making things up. I haven’t done anything!” Baekhyun choked out as the grasp on his hair was released and he fell face flat on the floor.

Baekhyun had put his hand out to break his fall this time but by doing so, he only ended up driving the splinter further up his right palm.

Baekhyun yelped in pain but Chanyeol quickly flipped him over and sat down on his stomach, pushing and suffocating him down with his greater weight.

 

“Are you sure you didn’t do anything? Don’t lie to me!” Chanyeol snapped, pulling Baekhyun up by the collar with his left wrist before punching him in the jaw repeatedly with his right fist. “I saw Kyungsoo leave your apartment and wearing your clothes! Did you let him fuck you? I bet you liked it, didn’t you!?”

“What are you talking about!? You have no idea!”, Baekhyun retaliated, trying to push Chanyeol off of him with injured hands, even when he could barely feel his jaw anymore. His jaw was too bruised and numb but Baekhyun could feel the familiar metallic taste of his own blood in his mouth.

That came to no avail either and Baekhyun’s arms went limp at his side. With tired and lifeless eyes, Baekhyun looked up into Chanyeol’s dark eyes.

Baekhyun dryly chuckled, revealing his blood-stained teeth, “Do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore. I can’t negotiate with a madman like you. Kill me if you want, at least I won’t have to suffer then.”

 

 

Baekhyun was too tired and exhausted from trying. He had exhausted his options and everything new he tried, always ended him up back in the same situation just like where he is now.

There was just one more thing he had yet to do and this was Baekhyun’s last resort. That option was to die and hope Chanyeol did not end up chasing him into the afterlife if one actually existed.

Baekhyun didn’t care if it was the worst of hell as long as he didn’t have to deal with Chanyeol anymore.

 

 

Baekhyun wouldn’t be lying if he said that he too imagined living with Chanyeol happily, be it as brothers or as friends.

Baekhyun too had been alone for so long and without anyone to rely on. Baekhyun had always fantasized about having long-lost relatives who loved him and wanted him to be around, just like some cheesy young adult novel plot.

It was a desire that stemmed from the void that Baekhyun felt, especially after being disowned and thrown out by the mother whom he thought loved him.

 

Baekhyun’s fantasies sort of came true with the revelation of his real relationship with Chanyeol, being his half-brother. But maybe, Baekhyun should have been specific with his wishes. Reality hurts, physically and emotionally as Baekhyun had experienced.

By then, Baekhyun didn’t want anything to do with Chanyeol anymore.

 

 

Baekhyun did realize that Chanyeol did not ask for the things that led to his illness to happen and for him to be the way he is; and that the real Chanyeol could be some nice person hidden under all the disorders and clinical diagnosis.

Baekhyun did give Chanyeol some leeway and chances either but nothing changed. Baekhyun only blamed himself for failing, even if it wasn’t his responsibility to “fix” Chanyeol.

 

 

 

Baekhyun’s eyes were heavy and his vision was blurry and hazy. It was either getting dark in his living room where he was laid upon on the floor or it was his vision that was slowly darkening. It could have also been from the painful and throbbing pain he felt in the back of his head.

There was also a roaring sound in his ears and Baekhyun wasn’t sure if it was because of the rain outside, or he was really imagining things.

Chanyeol had slammed the back of his head down roughly on the floorboards and Baekhyun began to see stars, although of the unfavorable kind which made him worry that he might be having a concussion.

Baekhyun wondered how much abuse his body and mind could take before they both gave way and maybe he would end up like Chanyeol too.

 

Chanyeol never remembered what he did during his episodes and as the saying goes, ignorance is bliss. Maybe there was a good in that.

For a moment, Baekhyun envied and wanted to be in Chanyeol’s position. At least he wouldn’t remember because Baekhyun surely didn’t want to recall any of this.

 

 

Soon, everything turned black and Baekhyun passed out on the floor with Chanyeol still sitting on top of him, heavy and suffocating.

Chanyeol clicked his tongue, annoyed that Baekhyun was being unresponsive even if it was his fault that it was that way.

Chanyeol pressed down the splinter sticking out from Baekhyun’s harder into his flesh in an attempt to wake Baekhyun up from the pain.

That did work and Baekhyun rouse from his unconscious state, eyes wide open and wailing in pain. Chanyeol’s hand was pressed against his mouth, however, muffling Baekhyun’s screams of agony.

 

“I think you’d want to be awake for this,” Chanyeol snarled, taking off his belt from the loop around the waist on his trousers.

Chanyeol pinned both Baekhyun’s arm above his head before securing them tightly and uncomfortably with the belt.

Baekhyun was drifting in between being awake and passed out at this point. The sheering pain in his head, on his hand and of the painful position his arms were in; kept jerking him awake but the dizziness and disorientation worked against the pain to pass him out.

Whenever Chanyeol caught Baekhyun’s head lolling and his eyes rolling to the back of his head right before he passed out, Chanyeol would slap Baekhyun and roughly shake him awake.

 

“You liked it when Kyungsoo did this to you, didn’t he?” Chanyeol raspily whispered near Baekhyun’s ears.

Baekhyun only grunted in response, unable to form a coherent sentence to deny Chanyeol’s claim that there was anything between him and Kyungsoo. Baekhyun was just friends with Kyungsoo and that was it.

What did Chanyeol have to be jealous for too?

With that being said, Chanyeol pulled down and removed Baekhyun’s trousers from around his legs before working on his boxers.

 

Baekhyun’s feelings were numb too but he could feel his throat hitch and his figurative heart sink to the pits of his stomach when he heard Chanyeol unbuckling his trousers.

This was the end, Baekhyun hoped. Let it be the last so he wouldn’t have to go through this again. In death, maybe he would be free then.

 

The searing pain now pooling in the lower regions between his thighs were now added on top of the pain he already felt.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure which hurt more, his heart or his body. If he had to choose between one, Baekhyun would have preferred dying instead.

It was dry, rough, coarse and painful as Baekhyun felt Chanyeol roughly penetrate him without any warning. After all, why would Chanyeol even ask for permission for this?

There was a stinging pain with every thrust that soon faded when Baekhyun felt moisture and a puddle pooling just right underneath his buttocks.

Baekhyun feared it was blood but what else could it be if it wasn’t blood?

 

Baekhyun was brought back to the days when his step-father used to beat him up to get the “gay” out of him. In order to scare a young Baekhyun who didn’t know any better, Baekhyun was told that if he didn’t “turn straight”, his ass would be ripped apart by other men because according to his step-father, that was what gay people did.

Baekhyun started to wonder if his step-father was right about it all along. Why did the villains always have to win? What did Baekhyun didn’t do right? If he was going to fix all of this, where would he even start?

 

 

Laid on the floor on his back with his arms painfully bound above his head and his legs forcibly spread open with Chanyeol thrusting between them, Baekhyun blinked away the stinging tears in his eyes as it went dark around him again.

But like every time he passed out, Chanyeol would be there to harshly wake him up again. For that part, Chanyeol was somewhat reliable.

Chanyeol wanted Baekhyun to be awake for this. Chanyeol, in his current state of mind, wanted Baekhyun to feel him being inside and forcefully taking him.

This was about power and this Chanyeol wanted Baekhyun to know that he had the power over Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun tried biting back his gasps and painful sounds of struggle and discomfort to be so roughly treated like that.

It hurt the most and so badly, especially when Chanyeol snapped his hips forward, pushing roughly into Baekhyun. Baekhyun winced and flinched. He felt like curling up into a ball and hoped to just die right there and then.

Nothing about this or any part of it at all was the love that Chanyeol claimed to have for Baekhyun. If Chanyeol actually loved Baekhyun, he would have taken care of himself to put Baekhyun out of the danger.

 

 

When Chanyeol roughly shook Baekhyun to wake him up again, something inside of Baekhyun snapped and that was his survival instinct and desire to keep on living.

Baekhyun’s eyes shot wide open and round at the realization that it didn’t have to end like this.

He didn’t have to die to be free. Maybe Chanyeol could be the one to die instead.

 

Aided by the sudden course of the adrenaline rush, Baekhyun kicked Chanyeol in the gut and pushed him backward. Chanyeol, who was caught by surprise, fell onto his back on the floor behind.

Baekhyun quickly flipped over onto his knees and got up with his bound hands in front of him. Baekhyun managed to get up to his feet and stopped Chanyeol from getting up by striking down on Chanyeol’s head with his elbows, kneeing Chanyeol in the face.

 

Baekhyun slipped Chanyeol’s head into the gap between his arms, bound at the wrist by the belt.

“What the fuck are you doing, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol spat, struggling to breathe.

Baekhyun was now trying to strangle Chanyeol, wrapping his arms secured by the belt around Chanyeol’s neck and constricting them together as hard as he could.

“You should die, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun painfully cried out, pumped with adrenaline and the instinct to fight and survive. It hurt his body to do that and his heart even more to end the life of his own brother but Baekhyun had no more options left.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t going down without a fight either. If Baekhyun’s survival instinct kicked in, then so did his.

Using his size advantage, Chanyeol pressed and pushed his body weight onto Baekhyun; shoving Baekhyun onto the wall.

Chanyeol pushed himself up, forcing Baekhyun to stand up too and sliding Baekhyun up against the wall and onto the bedroom door beside him.

 

Before Baekhyun could realize what Chanyeol was doing, Baekhyun felt the sharp pain of the blade of the axe embedded into the door, now stabbing into the back his shoulder.

Chanyeol pushed back against Baekhyun, driving the blade further into Baekhyun’s flesh.

Baekhyun’s grip loosened enough for Chanyeol to slip his head out, freeing himself from Baekhyun’s hold.

Baekhyun slumped against the door, falling to his knees; leaving a trail of blood on the door from where the axe was down to his shoulders.

This was more painful than Baekhyun thought it would be.

 

Baekhyun got back on his feet when he saw Chanyeol immediately running off to the kitchen.

Baekhyun limped, attempting to escape through the door but he was too late because Chanyeol slammed the door shut right in his face; voiding Baekhyun of the escape he had yearned.

In one hand, Chanyeol was firmly holding onto the handle of Baekhyun’s kitchen knife; one which he had bought not too long ago as a housewarming gift for himself.

New knife apart, Baekhyun almost wished he did not choose to look into Chanyeol’s face because he saw Chanyeol with a face sobbing and crying in front of him.

 

 

It occurred to Baekhyun for a moment that this probably wasn’t the dangerous Chanyeol he knew nor was it the safer Chanyeol.

Because one did not know sympathy and the other did not know how to hurt, even if the safer one was overbearing indeed.

Baekhyun knew he should have taken the hint at the lighter choice of colors this Chanyeol wore but hindsight was 20/20.

This was an entirely new one and Baekhyun began to laugh at how tragic this setup was. He could never win.

 

The only way he could ever understand how Chanyeol’s head worked was to become like him, and maybe Baekhyun was slowly falling down that path.

Maybe that mansion was cursed. Maybe it ran in their blood. Who knew?

 

Chanyeol drove the blade of the knife into Baekhyun’s abdomen, a few inches from his hipbones. Baekhyun passed out again but with a smile on his face this time, slumping onto Chanyeol’s shoulders.

Chanyeol cried, cradling Baekhyun’s limp and bloody body against the wall. This Chanyeol felt trapped within himself and torn at what he had done.

For a moment, Chanyeol was gentle as he caressed Baekhyun’s cold face and planted a kiss on his brother’s bloody lips.

“I love you, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol declared, tucking Baekhyun’s head underneath his chin.

 

 

  

Just as promised, Kyungsoo came to Baekhyun’s place early the next morning before work to drop off the clothes he had borrowed.

Kyungsoo knew that Baekhyun was probably asleep because of his late sleeping hours, so he had planned to just hang the bag with clothes on Baekhyun’s doorknob.

Instead, when Kyungsoo arrived in his car in front of Baekhyun’s apartment; he was greeted by the sight of a small onlooking crowd, several police cars, and ambulances.

The ambulance left almost immediately with sirens on just as Kyungsoo managed to park and get out of his car.

Kyungsoo did not get to see who it was that being brought away with the ambulance but he instinctively knew when he saw Chanyeol being escorted in handcuffs into the police car.

 

Chanyeol spotted Kyungsoo in the crowd and smiled his way before he was pushed into the back of the police car.

Even from afar, Kyungsoo felt a chill run down his spine when Chanyeol smiled so menacingly at him.

Baekhyun had been telling the truth about Chanyeol after all. Baekhyun had been pleading and begging for help all this time but no one listened.

 

 


	16. XVI

 

It was dark when he last remembered what was around him. It was also rather warm and the smell of blood permeated the air around him. He last remembered the sound of the pounding rain outside and the ringing in his ears from having his head bashed one too many times.

But it was bright now. Almost everything was white here and there was a cool feeling around it. It didn’t smell like blood anymore; it smelled more like sterile bed sheets, medicine, and hospital equipment. There were sounds of muffled light chatters outside of the room he was in. The only dominant sound was the steady and rhythmic sounds of beeping that came from the monitors he was hooked onto.

                                                      

That was where Baekhyun woke up. There was a throbbing headache he could feel on his forehead. Baekhyun often felt like this when he had been asleep and lying down for too long. That could be it this time too, Baekhyun suspected.

Baekhyun remembered clearly and vividly what last happened to him. There was no way he could ever forget that and it was also the first thought he recalled when he came to in the hospital room.

 

Baekhyun knew where he was, in a hospital to be exact. He may have been disoriented upon regaining consciousness but there was no mistaking where he was at now.

But he didn’t care about the details like why he was in there for, how long he had been there and how many injuries he had sustained during the ordeal on that rainy night.

Baekhyun just wanted to know what happened to Chanyeol after that? Where was Chanyeol? How was Chanyeol?

Baekhyun needed to know. He had to.

 

 

Slowly, Baekhyun got up into a sitting position on the hospital bed albeit with some difficulty. His shoulder really hurt and so did the numbing pain in his abdomen from where he recalled being last stabbed at.

Heck, he hadn’t even got to use that knife before Chanyeol did use it to stab him in the gut. That thought bothered him more than being stabbed by Chanyeol.

Baekhyun was honestly numb to all of this now. It was better to be bothered by the little things.

 

 

Baekhyun observed the needle of the IV drip stuck into his vein on his left hand, and the few monitors he was hooked onto with wires that ran down to his chest and around his arms.

Baekhyun had no idea how any of these worked and he wasn’t going to rip them all out so he could get up and search for answers, which he wanted now. Baekhyun wasn’t even sure if he could even stand up and walk by himself.

 

Baekhyun tried looking around his bed to see if he could find a call button among all the wires that were there; but before he could find any, Baekhyun heard the scuffling of feet outside his hospital room and the door being pushed open.

Baekhyun lifted his head and saw that it was his fifteen year-old step-brother, Sungmin, and his mother who had entered the room. Baekhyun had not expected them at all.

He didn’t think they would even want to come visit him in the hospital.

 

“Mom?” Baekhyun blurted out instantly upon on seeing her and Sungmin together.

“Oh my god, Baekhyun, you are awake!” Baekhyun’s mother wept and immediately ran up to the side of his bed. “How do you feel? Are you alright?” She then turned to Sungmin standing behind her, “Quick, go get a nurse.”

Sungmin nodded and did as he was told to, running off, still wearing his school uniform.

“Uh…I’m okay I think? My wounds still hurt but uh…what happened to Chanyeol?” Baekhyun struggled to overcome his surprise of seeing his mother here while still trying to explain to her how he felt and that he really wanted to know Chanyeol’s whereabouts.

“Don’t bother about him. It’s okay, you’re safe now,” Baekhyun’s mother cried, hugging him.

“Yeah, but I really need to know what happened to Chanyeol,” Baekhyun pressed on.

“No, don’t ask about him. You don’t have to remember about all of that,” Baekhyun’s mother shook her head, refusing to answer him.

 

Baekhyun was still confused. He wanted to ask what his mother was doing there, visiting him and presumably taking care of him in the hospital, because he had assumed she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

Baekhyun chose to not pursue that question, however. If things were okay now with the relationship he had with his mother, then so be it.

Maybe it was true that people only did care about you when you were dying, which Baekhyun was previously on the brink of thanks to Chanyeol.

 

 

But he also wanted to know where Chanyeol was and what happened to him. Baekhyun couldn’t care less when the nurse and a doctor came in to tell him what had happened to him.

All he heard was that he had a stab wound and about how many stitches he had to get on his shoulder and on his abdomen. Baekhyun was told that he was lucky to not have his vital organs injured but he didn’t care for all that because none of them told him where Chanyeol was at.

 

From them, Baekhyun learned that it had been about four days since he was rescued and brought to the hospital.

Baekhyun asked his mother about Chanyeol but she only shook her head, refused to answer and told him to forget Chanyeol. Whenever Baekhyun mentioned Chanyeol’s name, her face would always drop and she would quickly change the subject to something else.

The avoidance was as obvious as day, however.

 

 

When Baekhyun’s mother wasn’t around and had to go to her workplace, Sungmin was made to watch over and accompany Baekhyun in the afternoon after his class had ended.

Baekhyun’s mother wouldn’t tell him what he wanted to know so Baekhyun took it in him to bribe his step-brother by promising to buy a new game for Sungmin if he told Baekhyun whatever he knew.

 

It was easy to buy his step-brother over but Sungmin didn’t know much. Sungmin still did tell Baekhyun whatever information he knew.

From Sungmin, Baekhyun found out that it was one of his neighbors from the apartment who had called the police. The neighbor was coming back home early in the morning after a graveyard shift when he saw Baekhyun’s door swinging open and went to check, where he found Baekhyun in a pool of blood and Chanyeol hugging him and crying.

Chanyeol had been arrested and in police custody since then.

 

But Baekhyun only cared for one fact after that. What was to become of Chanyeol?

 

 

Then; the police came together with some counselors from the government, visiting him while he was still admitted in the hospital.

The police asked Baekhyun a lot of questions such as regarding his relationship with Chanyeol, how well he knew Chanyeol and how Chanyeol behaved around him.

Baekhyun answered truthfully. He didn’t feel like he had anything to hide after all. Chanyeol was nice to him most of the times and on the other times, Chanyeol seemed to have a bloodlust to want to kill and hurt him.

And that was what Baekhyun answered to them. Baekhyun was blissfully unaware of how all his testimonies would and might be used against prosecuting Chanyeol.

 

 

Then, Baekhyun was also asked to recall the events of that rainy night which ended him up in the hospital with a stab wound being the most prominent out of all the other injuries he sustained that night.

The counselor assured Baekhyun that he didn’t have to talk about it if he did not wish to. Baekhyun’s mother was by his side and held his hand throughout the whole questioning although he felt like he didn’t need all that support and concern.

 

Where were they when he needed them the most? Why only come to help him now when the damage had already been done?

Baekhyun was hardly bothered by what happened to him anymore. He didn’t care anymore and wondered why the people around him only started caring now. It was too late for that now.

 

Baekhyun assured he was fine and diligently repeated the events to the police officers doing the questioning, without leaving out any details. The police nodded and recorded everything Baekhyun said, sometimes even jotting down notes.

In the end, the police asked Baekhyun if he had any questions for them. Baekhyun had been eagerly waiting for this and asked them about Chanyeol, which put a sour face on his mother’s face beside him.

She seemed to hate it when Chanyeol’s name was mentioned and tried her best to deflect the topic but she couldn’t do that now in the presence of the police

 

The police only told Baekhyun what he already knew, just slightly added with how Chanyeol currently stood in a legal point of view, considering what Chanyeol had done to Baekhyun.

Chanyeol was being charged by the police prosecutors for a murder attempt. Chanyeol was in their custody and currently under the inspection of court-appointed psychologists to properly diagnose his mental state which would determine whether he was fit to stand for trial or otherwise.

The police did warn Baekhyun that Chanyeol had a good defense lawyer which he could afford no doubt due to his wealth. It was very likely that if the court decided that Chanyeol was to stand for trial, his side would be using the insanity plea for him to get out of it.

 

From the way they talked to Baekhyun about it, it was as if they assumed that Baekhyun wanted to see Chanyeol getting locked up for his actions and that the law was going to help Baekhyun with that.

Of course, almost every victim would want to see the culprit who hurt them behind bars and getting what they deserved in the court of justice.

Baekhyun had other things in mind, however.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo too later dropped by to visit together with his girlfriend, Sojin, who was also surprisingly concerned and worried for Baekhyun. She had actually wanted to visit Baekhyun out of her own accord and not just because Kyungsoo was going to.

This too surprised Baekhyun a little bit but the fact settled down in him fast. Hardly anything could surprise him anymore at this rate because nothing could beat what he had gone through with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun was so numb and so unmoved.

 

Kyungsoo brought flowers; red carnations to be specific when he went to visit and arranged it in a vase together with the flowers that Baekhyun’s co-workers from the bistro had left for him when they visited.

Sojin and Kyungsoo stayed a while to talk to him. The questions were all the same, however. Baekhyun suspected that everyone who had visited him had been coached on what to tell him and what to avoid telling him.

Everyone seemed to be like a broken recorder at this point and Baekhyun was getting sick of it, being stuck in a hospital which he wasn’t allowed to leave yet and devoid of the information he wanted to know.

In the eyes of the prosecutors, police and the doctors; Baekhyun was supposed to be fragile and weak who needed to be sheltered and protected from the truth.

Baekhyun hated that.

Everyone seemed to think he was a victim who needed protection and help, which he was. Baekhyun used to see himself as such but now even bed-ridden with his movements restricted, Baekhyun felt the most powerful he ever felt since meeting Chanyeol.

Baekhyun didn’t understand why everyone was making a big deal out of it anyway.

 

Sojin excused herself to pick up a call when her phone began ringing, leaving Kyungsoo alone in the room with Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo ran out of things to say and he was obviously trying to pass the awkward silence by humming a tune and looking at some charts on the wall instead.

 

“Why are you so quiet?”, Baekhyun pointed out, sitting upright on his hospital bed with pillows propped behind his back.

“Oh? It’s nothing,” Kyungsoo pretended to brush it off. “I was just thinking about other stuff.”

“Yeah, I bet the police told you what questions you could ask and not ask me,” Baekhyun dryly chuckled, smoothing his palms on the bed sheets of his hospital bed. “You’re just afraid of talking to me now aren’t you?”

Kyungsoo paused for a moment before truthfully answering, “No, that’s not it. I do want to talk to you but they did actually tell us we should be careful when talking to you. It’s to protect you. They were afraid we might trigger some trauma by talking about some sensitive stuff. I’m sorry, Baek.”

“Come on, Kyungsoo. We’ve known each other a long time. We tell each other everything. I even tell you when I’m constipated. We don’t have to keep secrets, right?” Baekhyun smiled.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Kyungsoo sighed, plopping down on the chair beside Baekhyun’s bed, “It’s just that…I’m sorry for all this. I didn’t think you were serious when you told me all those stuff about Chanyeol. I thought you were just messing around with me. I’m really sorry, Baekhyun. This wouldn’t have happened if I just listened to you.”

Kyungsoo sounded really remorseful and Baekhyun did not once doubt Kyungsoo’s honest apology.

Baekhyun reached over the side of his bed and patted Kyungsoo on the shoulder, “It’s alright. I’m okay now and that’s all that matters. Don’t beat yourself over it. You didn’t know any better then.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo asked to confirm. “You know, I still feel bad about all of this.”

“Don’t be. It’s over now.” Baekhyun assured.

Kyungsoo smiled in return before sighing in relief, “Thanks. I was really worried you’d hate me for this.”

 

“No worries,” Baekhyun continued to assure but only because he had other intentions. “For starters, you can let me know where they’re holding Chanyeol at.”

“How would I know all those things? I don’t work with the police,” Kyungsoo chided. “Why do you even want to know where Chanyeol is? You’ll be fine, Baekhyun. He won’t come after you so you don’t have to worry about his whereabouts.”

“What makes you think I’m worried about Chanyeol?” Baekhyun retorted.

“Baekhyun, I know you might feel a bit on top of the world right now because you just got out and survived out of a traumatic experience but I really do think you should be worried about Chanyeol especially-” Kyungsoo was caught mid-sentence, unable to finish what he was going to say. Kyungsoo was afraid of what he was going to say and did not want to bring it up again to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun finished Kyungsoo’s sentence for him, however, “-especially because of what he did to me? Is that what you were trying to say? So what if he did? It’s not like you can change what happened to me by not talking about it just because someone told you to. So what if Chanyeol wants to do all that? It’s not like you can do anything about it!”

 

Kyungsoo was quite taken aback by what Baekhyun had told him. He did not expect Baekhyun to act or even say that. It seemed rather out of character even for Baekhyun whom he had known for years now.

“Are you really alright?” Kyungsoo questioned, raising an eyebrow and fidgeting on the chair he was seated on. Kyungsoo wanted to ask why Baekhyun even bothered about Chanyeol now but chose to withhold that topic, afraid of how it might affect Baekhyun.

“Why wouldn’t I be alright? Apart from being in the hospital because I almost died, I am totally fine!” Baekhyun confidently stated but almost yelling out his words.

 

There was a slight hint of sarcasm in Baekhyun’s words but Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if that was the case or otherwise. Baekhyun wasn’t the type to be sarcastic. In fact, Baekhyun was a very blunt person if anything.

“Then are you really sure that you’re not mad at me for all of this? Because you really sound like you are,” Kyungsoo noted.

Baekhyun chuckled, shaking his head, “No, I am not. I’m not mad at all.”

Kyungsoo was even more perplexed when Baekhyun’s character suddenly shifted from biting resentment and to laughing about how everything was fine again. Kyungsoo decided to attribute it to Baekhyun’s trauma and that he was probably still as confused and trying to figure things out.

“I was just making sure,” Kyungsoo added, “I wanted to know if you’re really okay because you said you were fine but then you just blew up on me like that so I couldn’t tell. I mean, I understand if you’re still mad at me for not listening to you. You don’t have to force yourself.”

“Kyungsoo, it really is alright. What’s done is done. If you really do feel bad about it, I have forgiven you so let’s forget about that now,” Baekhyun reassured. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we are,” Kyungsoo grinned, glad to see that things between him and his best friend were still alright.

But why did Baekhyun sound like someone else when he said that, Kyungsoo wondered?

 

 


	17. XVII

 

Baekhyun remained at the hospital for two weeks since he was brought in there. During the two weeks, Baekhyun was hardly ever alone because there was almost always someone there to accompany him.

Even without the people, there was always a nurse or doctor coming in every other hour to check up on him.

Baekhyun’s hospital stay overlapped with the summer break for school students and his step-brother, Sungmin, was there to watch over him when the adults had to go to work.

Baekhyun was actually beginning to miss being alone and having some privacy for himself at that point.

It was irritating especially because no one would tell him where Chanyeol was or what had become of Chanyeol.

 

 

After Baekhyun was released from the hospital, his mother barred him from returning to his apartment and insisted he returned to his old home so she could take care of him until he was fully well.

Baekhyun wanted to refuse but he realized the truth in her words. Baekhyun wasn’t fit enough yet to move around a lot and he would need the help until then.

Reluctantly, Baekhyun gave in and temporarily moved back in with his mother while still paying rent at his old apartment. The owner of the bistro Baekhyun worked at was also nice to give him a month off from work with full-time pay.

 

Baekhyun’s step-father, a grouchy, mustached, government worker with a decent salary and position, was also significantly nicer to him. It was as if the altercation that caused Baekhyun to leave in the first place never even happened.

But Baekhyun wasn’t surprised anymore at this point.

 

 

 

Being released from the hospital wasn’t the end of it yet, however. Baekhyun still had to go for physical and emotional therapy several times in a week, bringing him back to the same hospital he was admitted into.

The police informed Baekhyun of Chanyeol’s court hearing but his mother prevented him from going during the said hearing, choosing to go on behalf of Baekhyun instead; arguing that Baekhyun was still too weak and not ready to see Chanyeol yet.

 

Baekhyun wanted to argue back with his mother but he chose to withhold himself. He had a plan and even if he wouldn’t be able to see Chanyeol; despite how bad he wanted to, the bigger picture was more important here.

Baekhyun stayed home on the day of the court hearing but later flipped the news channel and saw a snippet of Chanyeol being escorted by the police and his lawyer into the courthouse where his case was being heard together with other criminals.

Baekhyun cried and broke down in tears in his room, alone, upon seeing Chanyeol even for a few brief seconds on the television screen.

Chanyeol looked paler, emotionless and sort of dead inside. Chanyeol had been sick for a long time but he never looked this bad, Baekhyun recalled.

What did they do to Chanyeol? How could they treat Chanyeol like this?

Baekhyun hugged himself to sleep that night, crying and sobbing out Chanyeol’s name. He had to get to Chanyeol no matter what. He had to before someone else did.

 

 

 

Baekhyun’s relationship with his mother and step-family improved tremendously while he was in their care.

Some days, Baekhyun’s step-father would be sending food up to his room and be checking up on him. Sungmin would keep Baekhyun company, playing console games and watching movies with him during the day when everyone else was at work.

Even Kyungsoo came over at least twice a week and Baekhyun’s phone constantly blew up from the texts that Kyungsoo sent.

Baekhyun appreciated all these but he was also frustrated that it had to be them. Why couldn’t it be Chanyeol instead? Baekhyun didn’t have the heart to tell them to fuck off and kept it bottled up inside.

 

Baekhyun had to learn to be patient until that day he could finally get to see Chanyeol. This would be worth it.

Baekhyun stopped asking about Chanyeol and when he did, Chanyeol didn’t seem to exist around him anymore because everyone else avoided Chanyeol’s name like a plague and he was never referred to by the people around Baekhyun.

Baekhyun wasn’t going to let them erase Chanyeol’s existence, however. He would keep Chanyeol alive even to himself.

 

 

 

In the two months it took Baekhyun to make a recovery until he was fit enough to return to work and move back into his apartment, Chanyeol’s case had been decided and the verdict was that he was guilty but insane.

Chanyeol was then to be admitted to a psychiatric facility for an indefinite period of time as per the court’s ruling.

This time, Baekhyun was present with his mother when the verdict was passed at the courthouse.

Chanyeol did not see Baekhyun in the viewing gallery in the courtroom. Chanyeol only had his head lowered as his lawyer repeated to him what the judge was saying.

Baekhyun clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. There were so much irritation and anger inside him. He wanted to knock the daylights out of Chanyeol but at the same time, he wanted to hug his older brother, comfort him and tell that everything would be alright.

Baekhyun never felt like this and he didn’t understand how he even began to have these thoughts. Where did they come from?  How did it come to him?

 

Baekhyun dashed out of the courtroom, running and crying in the gardens beside the courthouse until the entire trial was over and Chanyeol was brought away without them ever meeting each other. It hurt Baekhyun so much and he didn’t know why.

Wasn’t he supposed to be happy at this ruling? Relieved at least? But Baekhyun only felt the loss.

 

 

 

And there were times when Baekhyun felt too much, so much that it overwhelmed him. Somehow, he couldn’t help but think that this was how Chanyeol felt all the time.

Slowly, Baekhyun began to understand bit by bit why Chanyeol did what he did.

Baekhyun did too realize halfway through that unless someone had been through the same experience, it was almost impossible to even fathom why people like Chanyeol acted the way he did.

 

 

But by the time Baekhyun seemed to understand Chanyeol, Baekhyun had slipped further in and it felt like being trapped at a bottom of a hole; one which you couldn’t climb out from but where you could also see the blue skies above that tormented you because it would always be out of reach.

It was torture and even though Baekhyun still could not forgive Chanyeol for everything that had happened to him, Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel like he should have been a bit more understanding.

 

 

 

The therapists at the hospital told Baekhyun that it was normal for him to pity and feel bad for Chanyeol, even after all the abuse Chanyeol had put him through.

Baekhyun was told that forming emotions and bonds with one’s abuser was a human’s defense mechanism to protect their ego from being in a powerless and distressing situation.

When Baekhyun’s therapist told him that they could break him out from the emotional cycle he felt for Chanyeol; Baekhyun never returned and canceled all his further appointments, even lying that he was going to go get his therapy sessions elsewhere.

Baekhyun believed he didn’t need the help and since he was unwilling to help himself, no one would ever be able to.

 

 

Like Chanyeol had promised him earlier on, all of his estates and wealth were left to Baekhyun now that Chanyeol was deemed mentally incapacitated and admitted to the psychiatric institution.

Overnight, Baekhyun became a wealthy man but he didn’t want all that money. All that money could never help Chanyeol anyway so what use was it to go to him.

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun thanked the nosy reporters and journalists who reported on Chanyeol’s court proceedings because thanks to them, he found out the psychiatric hospital Chanyeol was admitted to as it was stated in the news articles.

It was a large state-funded institution in a neighboring town about a half’s hour drive away from where Baekhyun lived at.

 

On his off days, Baekhyun would drive up to the institution and park his car for hours outside the gates.

He would then observe the cars and vehicles that went in and out of the institution. One blue van with the company’s name painted outside did catch him by interest.

It hurt him to think that Chanyeol was just behind these walls, fences, and security but still out of reach from him.

But it only inspired Baekhyun to try harder to achieve his goal.

Baekhyun knew it was sickly and unhealthy but he was willing to forsake everything for it.

 

 

 

Baekhyun chose to board up the mansion while keeping everything else intact as it is. The leaking roofs were fixed and the access door in the attic, sealed up.

While overseeing the repairmen’s whom Baekhyun hired to fix up and board the mansion, an idea stuck in his head.

 

But until then, Baekhyun didn’t want to return there anymore, not until he could step through those two doors with Chanyeol.

There were brothers and that was their home, Baekhyun acknowledged. Baekhyun vowed that next time he went there, Chanyeol would be by his side.

 

 

 

When the bistro changed ownership after it was sold over, Baekhyun resigned from there and took over a small company that did construction and repair work

It wasn’t easy and Baekhyun didn’t have a single clue about the business he wanted to buy but after months of negotiation, Baekhyun used the money Chanyeol had left him with to buy out the small construction company.

No one suspected anything when Baekhyun suddenly revealed that he was buying a construction company despite having no experience or prior knowledge in such a field. They only assumed that Baekhyun was just not used to having so much money and that he was just buying things unnecessarily with it.

Baekhyun was told off for his “senseless” purchase but that was it.

 

 

Baekhyun learned to do simple tasks such as painting walls, fixing tiles and laying out bricks. He didn’t need to learn to do much, just enough to prove that he was actually serious and not up to something by taking over a construction company.

He had employees for that, after all, and Baekhyun made sure to hire a worker who was about the same height and build like Chanyeol.

This was crucial to his plan which he was slowly getting to achieve. Baekhyun believed his patience would pay off soon one day.

 

 

 **

 

 

Winter soon came together with the heavy snowfall, common to the climate of the city Baekhyun lived in.

When the first rounds of snow came that winter, Baekhyun was reminded of the snowy day when he first moved in with Chanyeol. It had been a year since then, and half a year since he last met Chanyeol which was on that rainy and stormy night.

Baekhyun was so close to achieving his goal now. He wasn’t going to let anything or anyone stand in his way now.

 

It was a chilly and freezing night in early February. It had snowed quite heavily but the snow had stopped and settled on the ground for over an hour now.

Baekhyun was over at his mother’s place, having celebrated a dinner party for Sungmin’s sixteenth birthday just earlier on.

Everyone else had gone to sleep as it was getting late. Baekhyun’s mother had told him to just sleep-over because of the snow.

Baekhyun stayed up, however, and waited out for the snow to stop.

 

Before Baekhyun left, he pulled out a wad of cash wrapped in brown paper before leaving it on the dining table. This was his final parting gift to whatever family he had here.

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, would be receiving a check from Baekhyun in the mail very soon.

Baekhyun, too, forgave them for everything in the past.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure he would return and if he ever would see them again because of what he was about to do. So, Baekhyun wanted to close up everything as much as he could.

 

Baekhyun took one last long look at the house he grew up in before leaving. Before he could leave, however, the lights were turned on and Baekhyun saw his mother standing in her sleeping robe at the other end of the living room.

“Baekhyun, are you leaving?” She asked, groggily.

“Yeah, the snow is settled now. I have to open up shop tomorrow so I’ll be going now,” Baekhyun affirmed.

“Why don’t you stay the night? It’s late and your shop doesn’t up until nine in the morning. You’ll have time to get there tomorrow,” Baekhyun’s mother tried to make him reconsider, “I’m worried about the road conditions out there.”

“That’s alright. I’ll be fine,” Baekhyun assured, “I left you something on the dining table. Make sure to check it tomorrow.”

“What is it, Baekhyun?” She furthered asked, closing the gap between herself and Baekhyun,

“Oh, its’ just a gift,” Baekhyun smiled, pulling on the strap of his small duffle bag.

“Why does it sound like you’re leaving though? Where are you going, Baekhyun?” Baekhyun’s mother inquired.

“I’m just going out of town for a while. It’s work related,” Baekhyun informed.

“Okay then. Have a safe trip. Be careful” She smiled at Baekhyun, “You know I’m glad to see you’re doing better now.”

“Yeah, I’m alright. I don’t really care about that whole thing with Chanyeol anymore,” Baekhyun blatantly lied. If only she knew how much he cared about Chanyeol now, even if it was caring in a very unhealthy way.

“I was really worried, you know. The Parks have always been rather strange to me, which is why I wanted to raise you away from them. I am glad I managed to get away when I found out I was pregnant with you. None of them are right in the head. I heard that Chanyeol’s sister moved overseas but she too was admitted to an institution in Europe.” Baekhyun’s mother slowly revealed, “I didn’t want you to end up like that. I tried to protect you. I just didn’t know that you’d end up living with Chanyeol. If I knew, I wouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun wanted to correct his mother that “Chanyeol’s sister” was also technically his sister, and that he too was a “Park”. Baekhyun acknowledged his belonging to that family but he didn’t want to raise anymore suspicion and appear too defensive about the whole topic.

It was important that no one suspected or knew how much he sympathized with Chanyeol and the whole situation because he knew that they couldn’t possibly understand how he felt. 

They would just treat him the way Baekhyun used to treat Chanyeol; with fear, suspicion, mistrust, and doubt.

 

Baekhyun smiled too and brushed it off, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be alright. Take care.” Baekhyun politely mentioned before bidding goodbye and leaving.

Baekhyun’s feet were heavy as he trudged through the snow-covered driveway, slowly getting further from the house.

Baekhyun had two options; he could turn back now and return to his mother and not leave the next morning, or he could continue on like he planned which was to leave town the next morning.

If he chose the former, Baekhyun could foresee himself living out the rest of his life in a peaceful and uneventful way. Everything would probably be normal too but that would mean letting Chanyeol rot away in that institution.

If he did choose the latter, his life would return to being dangerous and unpredictable but he would have Chanyeol again.

 

Baekhyun admitted that he hesitated and slightly chickened out at the deciding point. The comfort of consistency and tranquility tempted him to turn around.

Baekhyun drove Chanyeol’s old car now, which had been parked on the street outside his mother’s home. Baekhyun got into the car and drove off, having chosen to just go ahead with his plan.

Baekhyun didn’t have any set expectations in mind with how this would turn out. He just wanted to do it because of the voice screaming at him in his head to do it. Then again, he always had been making bad decisions anyway.

 

 

 

The following morning, Baekhyun assisted his employees in loading their distinctive blue van with the tools and equipment they would need for their job task that day.

Baekhyun made sure the tall new hire, who went by the name Lee and had a similar built as Chanyeol came along with him, just the both of them and no one else.

It was a simple job that only needed two people at most. It was for a client the company had been working for even when the old owner was in charge.

The task was to clean the walls in a few rooms with some mold growing over it because of the winter season. Then, they just needed to paint it over with the right mold-resistant paint.

 

After a half hour’s drive in the van, they soon arrived and pulled over in front of the psychiatric hospital that Chanyeol was admitted to over half a year ago.

The security guard saw the van and Baekhyun in it, and immediately let them pass through. They often conducted business with the hospital and were the go-to repairmen’s in case of anything.

Baekhyun made sure to keep that business relation when he took over the small construction company.

 

Baekhyun had been here the week before when the institution’s staff called him to check on the walls of the rooms which had grown mold on it because of the cold weather and poor ventilation.

Baekhyun was escorted by a staff as he passed by the individual rooms for the patients and his eyes caught onto the name plaque on one door which read “Park Chanyeol”.

The door was closed and the room shut. Baekhyun was instead showed to the room beside Chanyeol’s, which was empty, and told to inspect the walls there.

 

Baekhyun took up the job to paint the walls but also informed the staff that he needed to wash the walls in the nearby rooms, Chanyeol’s included, just to be on the safe side.

Unaware of Baekhyun’s real motives, the management of the psychiatric institution agreed to it.

 

 

Dressed in a blue cap and jumper suit that was the official on-site uniform provided by the company for tasks such as these, Baekhyun arrived carrying buckets of paints while Lee followed behind him with a step-ladder and carrying roller brushes.

The security guard who was in-charge of the floor showed Baekhyun to the first room for him to wash the walls and paint for. It was the unoccupied room beside Chanyeol’s room.

“You guys can work here first. I’ll be down at my desk near the elevators. Let me know when you’re done here so I can call the nurses to move the patients so you can work on the occupied rooms,” The burly looking security guard told Baekhyun and the new hire.

“Alright,” Baekhyun grinned, nodding, then turning to Lee, “Well, let’s start then. The sooner we start, the faster we can finish up.”

 

Baekhyun quickly went to work, washing the walls with bleach first together with his employee, Lee. After the washing was done, Baekhyun pretended to need something from the van before they could begin painting and excused himself to leave for a while.

In the van, Baekhyun pulled out what he had been hiding in his jumper suit; a batch of sleeping pills in powdered form that was soluble in water, which he bought off of someone from the internet under the pretense that it was to help him for insomnia, which Baekhyun didn’t have.

Baekhyun pulled out the soda bottles he bought earlier this morning from the store and mixed them all with the sleeping pills, shaking them well to make sure no traces were left. Baekhyun had made sure to buy a brand of soda that came in a darker color to make the tampering less obvious.

 

Baekhyun then went up back to the said floor he was working on, greeted the security guard and offered him the bottle of soda.

Baekhyun’s plan worked when the guard willingly accepted the soda, even thanking and expressing his gratitude to Baekhyun for the gesture.

Then, Baekhyun proceeded to pass the other bottle to his employee, Lee, who was another crucial part of his plan.  Baekhyun himself drank from another bottle of soda that wasn’t laced with sleeping pills to not raise any suspicion.

In order to make sure everything fell through and worked as he planned it to be, Baekhyun had been generous with the amount of powdered sleeping pills he put in.

In case that didn’t work, Baekhyun had a knife ready, hidden in his boot. Although he’d rather not have to use that messier method.

Baekhyun was proven to be one for the poisoning method after all.

 

Baekhyun started painting the washed walls together with Lee as he waited for the time until the drug began to take effect.

Lee complained feeling tired and drowsy halfway through painting. Being the nice boss Baekhyun always acted to be, he allowed Lee to sit down for a while and rest.

Baekhyun returned to painting, humming himself a tune and when he glanced over his shoulders to see Lee passed out on the newspaper-covered floor; Baekhyun threw the paint roller away and dashed outside the room.

 

Baekhyun thanked this floor for being conveniently deserted as hell. As all the patients here had their own rooms and the staff only came to check in on them at certain hours, it was usually deserted.

Baekhyun strode down the hall and saw the security guard too passed out in his chair. Baekhyun quickly pried the ring of keys away from the guard’s belt before rushing to the room with “Park Chanyeol” on the plaque.

 

Baekhyun tried several keys until he got the one that unlocked the room, pushing the door open with his palm and coming to face Chanyeol again.

 

“I see they dumped you in a low-risk section of the hospital. It was easy for me to get to you because I guess they realized you weren’t a danger since you aren’t crazy most of the time,” Baekhyun snarkily commented, standing in the doorway and grasping the ring of keys in his hand.

Chanyeol was wearing all-white garments that the patients wore and sitting on a chair beside a desk that was bolted to the ground. There was a small and rather worn looking bed also bolted to the wall beside the desk.

At the corner of the room were a toilet bowl and sink. The walls were bare, plain and the mood was just dull and depressing. There were no windows either, only four walls. Baekhyun could imagine that one would go even crazier when locked up here.

Chanyeol looked up at Baekhyun from his chair and smiled, “It took you long enough, didn’t it?”

 

 


	18. XVIII

 

“You better hurry then, if you want to get out of here,” Baekhyun commented, shaking the ring of keys in his hand.

“This place is dead. Get me out,” Chanyeol sighed, getting up from his chair and padding across the room to approach Baekhyun near the door.

“Good. Take off your clothes now,” Baekhyun ordered.

 

Chanyeol did as he was told, promptly stripping himself from the white overalls that the psychiatric hospital made the patients to wear.

“All of it off,” Baekhyun further instructed before exiting the room and going into the room next door which walls he was supposed to be painting.

 

 

With Chanyeol’s help, Baekhyun managed to strip his unconscious employee, Lee, off of his clothing before making Chanyeol wear them on.

Wearing Lee’s clothes and the cap on his head, Chanyeol could easily be mistaken for Baekhyun’s employee.

Chanyeol’s hospital overalls were then put on the knocked out Lee, before the two brothers dragged Lee and tossed him on the bed in Chanyeol’s room.

 

Baekhyun locked up the room before carefully slipping it back on the sleeping security guard’s belt.

 

 

“Now, what?” Chanyeol asked, turning to Baekhyun.

“Forget the stuff. Leave it here,” Baekhyun hasted, referring to the ladders and painting equipment left in the empty room. “We have to get out before anyone finds out I swapped my employee with you.” Follow me and lower your head down.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol adjusted the cap on his head, pulling it as low as he could to hide his face as much as possible.

 

 

Chanyeol followed Baekhyun down the hallways, elevators and the front-desk entrance where guests had to check in to report themselves before entering.

The lady behind the desk saw Baekhyun and nodded, allowing him to pass through, recognizing him as the repairman. She bore no suspicion either because Chanyeol easily passed off as Lee from the height and build of his body.

 

 

“Here,” Baekhyun showed the way to the back of the building where his van was parked at.

They had come out of the front entrance and had to walk around the building to get to Baekhyun’s van.

“It’s cold,” Chanyeol commented, stepping out into the open air for the first time in months as he trudged on the gravel, following Baekhyun from behind.

It was also snowing outside and Chanyeol couldn’t help but catch one snowflake on the back of his hand, which he saw fluttering down from the sky.

 

“It’s February. Of course, it’s cold,” Baekhyun replied, pulling the car keys out of his pocket and clicking on the remote control lock to unlock the van.

“How long have I been in here?” Chanyeol asked.

“Six months,” Baekhyun answered, before quickly telling, “Get in the van. We have to get out of here and go as far as we can.”

 

 

Chanyeol climbed into the front passenger seat as Baekhyun revved up the engine, changed gears and pressed down on the gas to begin driving away from the hospital’s grounds.

“Keep your head low until we get far enough from here,” Baekhyun commanded Chanyeol.

Chanyeol slightly lowered himself on the car seat, pulling his hat lower down and turning his face away from the glass window.

 

 

At the gate security checkpoint, Baekhyun lifted his hand and smiled to the security guard in the guard house who waved back and let him pass through.

No one suspected a thing or even knew what Baekhyun was actually doing because if they did, they surely wouldn’t be letting Baekhyun just casually walk out of the place as if nothing was wrong.

 

 

 

Baekhyun kept on driving down long straight roads which were mostly surrounded by trees, forests and the occasional houses or rows of shop lots which were scattered along the length of the asphalt road.

Baekhyun’s hands were firm on the steering wheel and his eyes focused on the road in front of him.

Baekhyun said nothing and it was quiet. The only sounds that were heard were the rush of air when another car on the opposite traffic passed by them or when the van swayed because Baekhyun shifted the speed he was driving at.

Sometimes, they’d hit a speed bump and the van would jerk upward and rattle the equipment at the back of the van but not a single word was exchanged the two.

 

 

Chanyeol wasn’t keeping track of the time but he was sure they were far enough from the hospital now, especially because he saw that there more trees on the side of the road than buildings and signs of urbanization.

Chanyeol glanced over his shoulder to look at the back of the van and saw repair and construction tools of all kinds from ropes to boxes of hammers, nails, and saws. He didn’t exactly expect that and now he was beginning to question it.

Chanyeol turned his head around and now looked to the driver’s seat where Baekhyun was at.

“You own a construction company now?” Chanyeol questioned, actually feeling baffled and surprised.

“Yes, I do,” Baekhyun answered, without moving his eyes from the road for even a split second.

“You bought it just so you could get to me?”

“The only other option was to train for four to five years as a healthcare provider and hope I get hired by the hospital. Did you prefer I choose that instead?”, Baekhyun snarkily replied.

“Of course not. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible,” Chanyeol disclosed.

“Prevention is always better than cure, Chanyeol. You should not have tried to kill me and maybe you wouldn’t be there in the first place,” Baekhyun pointed out, a hint of irritation in his tone.

 

“I wouldn’t do that. You know I would never. I love you, Baek-,” Chanyeol was abruptly cut off by the van swerving violently, off the road and onto the patch of grass near the forested area beside the road.

Baekhyun braked also immediately, startling Chanyeol.

“What are you doing!?” Chanyeol exclaimed, his hands pressed onto the dashboard in front of him.

“Before we go any further, I want to know, which one of you I actually broke out of that psychiatric hospital? You do realize that by tomorrow or whenever it is that the hospital staffs realize Lee isn’t Chanyeol, they will be coming after the both of us?” Baekhyun proclaimed, pulling Chanyeol’s blue cap off of his head. “I didn’t risk myself into all this to save a madman!”

Chanyeol sighed, slumping back on the car seat, “Then why did you actually break me out in the first place?”

“Because I want my brother back!” Baekhyun yelled, hitting his fists down on the steering wheel.

“I am your brother!” Chanyeol returned, yelling back with equal force.

 

“Of course now you are,” Baekhyun sarcastically mentioned, crossing his arms over his chest furiously and choosing to look ahead instead of at Chanyeol.

“You know I can’t control this but it doesn’t matter who I am because every one of me loves you, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol composed himself, reaching to the side to hold Baekhyun.

Baekhyun, instead, slapped Chanyeol’s hand away before pushing Chanyeol’s knees aside to open the glove compartment and look for something in it.

Baekhyun retrieved a piece of cloth, which was obviously a cleaning rag that probably used to be white in color before it became all worn.

Without a word, Baekhyun forced Chanyeol’s jaw open with a firm hand and shoved the rag down Chanyeol’s mouth, pushing the rag as far it would go without choking Chanyeol.

“No biting, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun smirked, patting Chanyeol on the cheek, “We would never be done if we argue. What matters now is that we get to our destination and if you keep on talking, I am going to be angry and distracted so shut up.”

Chanyeol glared over at Baekhyun before pulling out the rag from his mouth, “Then, keep my hands tied up if you want to do that.”

“Of course a psycho like you would know that. Just shut the fuck up, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun retorted, shifting the gear and driving off the grass and back onto the road.

 

“Where are we going?” Chanyeol quickly asked once they were back on the road again, not even worried or bothered by Baekhyun’s threat to ask him to shut up.

“-off the grid for a while until we decide what to do next,” Baekhyun informed, “I have prepared everything for my departure before I came to get you and I have a place where we can stay at until things die down…whenever that is.”

“What about our house?”

“I boarded it up. We’ll go back there one day, the both of us,” Baekhyun assured.

Chanyeol glanced over at Baekhyun, watching as Baekhyun was focused and attentive to his driving.

“Then, what about my car?” Chanyeol then asked.

“I paid several months of parking for it in a building. We won’t need it for now,” Baekhyun revealed.

“I thought you would have disposed of it in a car compacter because you were mad at me for what I have done,” Chanyeol assumed.

“For trying to kill me, destroying your car won’t even come close to revenge,” Baekhyun stressed.

“I didn’t mean that. The truth is, when you first moved in with me, I was the one who tampered with your car until it was unfixable and you had to sell it away for scrap metal,” Chanyeol admitted.

Baekhyun dryly chuckled, “That is the least concerning thing I have heard from you, to be honest.”

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun drove for a few more hours in silence before making a left turn onto a small road which forked out from the main road and into the forest.

The road was smaller and bumpier as they drove on it, getting deeper into the forest. The road was a small dirt road and the van shook often, rattling the equipment behind.

It was late afternoon but it was dark already at this time of the day in the winter. It was pitch black all around, only the headlights of the van provided illumination for the drive ahead.

 

“Where exactly are we going?” Chanyeol questioned.

“Some cabin in the forest. It used to belong to the forest ranger that patrolled the area but they built a new one further from here and it was put up on sale a few months ago so I bought it,” Baekhyun responded.

“So that means people do come in these parts of the forest?” Chanyeol added.

“They do. But maybe not at this time of the year,” Baekhyun answered, “-besides, it’s not like we’ll be opening our doors to them anyway. We’ll be hidden fine. I bought the cabin with cash and under a fake name so there are no transaction records which links back to me. I just want to get there as soon as possible now before we’re snowed in.”

Chanyeol did not further ask or say anything, leaning back in his seat and watching the darkness around him.

 

 

It didn’t take long for a drive more before they pulled up in front of the cabin at the end of the dirt road. The wooden cabin was slightly raised off the ground on stilts.

In the middle of the clearing in the forest in the snow, it was pitch black and Baekhyun kept the van’s headlights on for a bit longer so they could see where they were going.

“Get out and help me with the stuff,” Baekhyun instructed, getting out of the van and walking around to open the back door for the van so he could unload the items.

 

Chanyeol did as he was told, stepping out from the warm van into the cold and freezing surroundings.

Baekhyun passed Chanyeol a key from the pockets of his blue overalls, “Unlock the door and carry the boxes inside.” Baekhyun pointed to a few of the boxes.

“Sure,” Chanyeol murmured, picking up the crates and boxes of medium-size which weren’t too heavy either. Some of the boxes rattled when he picked it up. “What’s in here?”, Chanyeol asked as he unloaded one box out from the back of the van.

“Canned food, clothes and supplies we’ll need.” Baekhyun climbed into the back of the van and squatted down, pulling more boxes closer to the door.

 

 

Chanyeol walked up the cabin’s front door and placed the box down on the wooden platform before using the key that Baekhyun had handed him to slot into the keyhole and unlock the door.

After hearing the audible click, Chanyeol turned the knob and pushed the door open. The door opened up directly into the main living area of the cabin.

Chanyeol didn’t even see an entryway or a mudroom and he was quite expecting there to be one. Throughout Chanyeol’s life, the only other place he had lived in other than a mental ward was a large mansion and frankly speaking, he wasn’t used to common ways of living.

 

Baekhyun was heard sighing behind Chanyeol and pushed past him, making his way into the dark cabin and turning on the lights on the wall just near the door. Baekhyun then moved further down the wall until the end, where he flipped the switch on for the radiator.

“Turn the lights on first, okay?” Baekhyun snarled, returning to the van.

“There is electricity here?” Chanyeol seemed a bit too puzzled.

“Of course. If there’s a road here, then there will be,” Baekhyun sighed, returning to the van.

 

 

Chanyeol picked up the boxes and crates before making his way inside the small living area which was directly connected to the kitchen. The entire space of the living area and kitchen combined was not even the size of a regular bedroom in the mansion.

Chanyeol really missed his mansion now. He missed being there with Baekhyun but this would have to do for now.

Chanyeol placed the boxes and crates down on the small wooden kitchen counter before looking around and observing the cabin.

 

The living area had a fireplace, couch, and an armchair with a window that was covered with curtains that were drawn tightly shut.

The kitchen was simple and there was a small fridge too beside the cabinets.

There was a door beside the kitchen that Chanyeol opened and found out that it led to a squatting toilet that smelled like damp mothballs. Chanyeol quickly closed the door shut, wincing and scrunching his nose at the stench.

There was another door near the living area and Chanyeol assumed it was the bedroom but he didn’t go over to inspect it.

At least he was with Baekhyun now, Chanyeol compromised.

 

 

Baekhyun opened the boxes and crates; fixing and arranging the items in it. Baekhyun stacked the canned food away on the shelves, stored away from the household essentials such as toilet paper and washing detergent into the drawers, threw some food and bottled water into the fridge before handing Chanyeol a stack of folded clothes.

Chanyeol was standing in the middle of the kitchen when Baekhyun passed him his clothes. Most of the clothes he wore a lot were here, neatly folded and clean.

“I got that from your room before I had the mansion boarded up,” Baekhyun spoke, “There’s a shower in the room. It might take a while for the water to heat up since we get it from a tank outside. You can go ahead and shower first.”

“Why did you bring all my black clothes though?” Chanyeol looked down at the neatly folded clothes in his hand. “He is the one who wears it, not me. I hate black.”

 

Baekhyun ignored Chanyeol’s claim, moving past Chanyeol to store away pots, pans, and even knives.

“Well, at least you were prepared,” Chanyeol padded off into the room only to find out it had only one bed, a nightstand and was cramped as hell.

It was nothing compared to what Chanyeol was used to but this would do for now. He was probably already declared as a mental patient on the loose and on the run with his half-brother.

If anything, Chanyeol’s insanity was legally recognized and he could get away with escaping but it would be Baekhyun who would have to bear the burden of breaking the law by drugging people, fooling the hospital staff and assisting Chanyeol’s escape.

 

 

Chanyeol showered and discovered that the bathroom wasn’t half as bad as he thought it to be. It was smaller than what he was used to but cleaner and smelled less too compared to the toilet.

Still, it was a blessing compared to showers in the psychiatric hospital, whereby each patient was given an allotted time every other day to use the shower with a staff waiting outside and yelling your name if you took too long.

Chanyeol tossed aside the blue overalls he was given to wear and got dressed in his own clothes; a black sweater and trousers which Baekhyun had given to him.

Chanyeol felt “foreign” to be wearing these clothes even if he had worn it before and it did belong to him, but technically they weren’t his also.

 

Chanyeol rolled up the sleeves of his black sweater until it was just a few inches below his elbow before leaving the room and into the main living area.

Baekhyun was eating from a can and leaning forward against the kitchen counter, flipping through a book laid on the countertop.

 

“I’ve never seen you read,” Chanyeol blurted, “You’re always on your phone or laptop with Kyungsoo.”

“I’d trade this boring ass book for my phone anytime but I don’t want to be tracked for helping you escape from a psychiatric hospital,” Baekhyun spoke between chews, forking out the contents from the can.

“Speaking of which,” Chanyeol pulled the fridge door open and took out a bottle of drinking water that Baekhyun had put in earlier on, then continuing, “-how is Kyungsoo?”

Baekhyun glared up at Chanyeol from the other end of the kitchen counter, stabbing his fork into the can, “Why do you care?”

Chanyeol unscrewed the cap of the battle as he answered, “Is it wrong for me to want to know how my brother’s best friend is doing?”

“You ask about Kyungsoo first but you didn’t even ask me how I’ve been in the past six months?” Baekhyun was baffled. “I am your brother, not Kyungsoo. Because last time I checked, you were trying to kill me, not Kyungsoo.”

“Well, it looks like we’ll have a lot to talk about now that we’re stuck here,” Chanyeol acknowledged.

“Nevermind that. I know I’m just going to be pissed off at you if we talk,” Baekhyun chimed in, “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Don’t they give your haircuts there? Your hair is way too long and messy.”

“I did. There’s a mirror in the washroom. I’m not blind, Baekhyun and yes they do but only once every six months. I was supposed to get mine soon but you broke me out before then,” Chanyeol disclosed. “It’s not bad. It’s just longer than I usually keep it.”

“Poor you for not getting your expensive haircuts?”, Baekhyun sassed, sarcastically before chuckling to himself.

 “Then, why don’t you cut my hair for me?” Chanyeol suggested, “I know that you worked at a hair salon for five months after high school and had a little bit of training in cutting men’s hair.”

“Since you dug up my past so much, I’m not surprised if you know the timing of my bowel movements now,” Baekhyun retorted in dry humor.

 

 

Chanyeol ignored Baekhyun’s sarcasm and pulled the drawer behind him open, rummaging through the contents until he found a pair of scissors and pulled it out from the drawer.

“Cut my hair for me,” Chanyeol commanded, holding the scissors up with his hand.

“Fine. That’s not the proper scissors but it’ll have to do,”, Baekhyun sighed, slamming the can down on the counter and then throwing the used spoon into the sink.

 

In one of the boxes Baekhyun had brought into the cabin, he found old newspapers which were used to be laid out on the floor when doing painting on the ceilings.

Baekhyun laid out a few pieces of newspapers on the floor before putting a chair on it.

“Sit,” Baekhyun instructed.

Without a word said, Chanyeol promptly sat down on the chair atop the newspapers like he was told to before Baekhyun wrapped his towel around Chanyeol’s neck.

Baekhyun wetted the comb under the sink before bringing it to Chanyeol’s hair and combing through his older brother’s hair, making sure it was all combed out without tangles.

 

Chanyeol did not instruct Baekhyun on how to cut his hair, putting his trust and the decision making into Baekhyun’s hands entirely.

Chanyeol only sat down with his neck stiff and looking forward as Baekhyun pulled on his hair with the comb and snipped away with the scissors.

Chanyeol could feel Baekhyun’s hands on his head and on his hair. Chanyeol heard the sounds of snipping and cutting from the scissors. He could also see some of the strands of his cut black hair that fell down in front of his face before landing on the towel.

Other than that, it was way too quiet. Baekhyun didn’t speak and neither did Chanyeol, despite his earlier claim about having a lot to talk about now that they were stuck with each other for an indefinite amount of time.

Putting aside the fact that Baekhyun had just conspired to break Chanyeol out of the mental facility he was being institutionalized at, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary.

 

Nothing seemed too strange, not until Chanyeol heard another snip of the scissors but this time, it was way closer to his ear than before and sounding very different than hair being cut.

Chanyeol’s composure remained unfazed and rigid even when he felt the stinging pain start to set in and the feeling of warm blood trickling down his ear and then down his jaw.

 

It was no accident and Chanyeol soon felt the cool metal of the sharp end of the scissors pressed on the skin under his jaw, poking under his jaw like an imminent sign of the hurt that could follow but not pressed hard enough to further injure him yet.

Baekhyun was silent and Chanyeol did not move or turn around either to look behind.

“Go ahead, kill me if you want. I know you’re angry,” Chanyeol outrightly stated.

But as soon as Chanyeol announced his declaration, Chanyeol’s right hand shot up to grab onto Baekhyun’s arm which had the scissors poked under his jaw. Chanyeol grabbed on tight and Baekhyun gritted his teeth at the action.

 

 


	19. XIX

 

 

Baekhyun’s hand trembled with the scissors in his hand and the blade poked beneath Chanyeol’s jaw, prodding and threatening against Chanyeol’s skin with the intent to cut, bleed and hurt.

Baekhyun would have done it already. He was already set on hurting Chanyeol so maybe his older brother here could feel the same pain he too had been through.

But even if he did so, Baekhyun knew that whatever pain he inflicted onto Chanyeol would never satisfy him.

Revenge was a dish best served cold, after all, and Baekhyun wasn’t that entirely cold towards Chanyeol.

There was a part of him that for some reason; pitied and sympathized Chanyeol. Baekhyun never understood that part or why he felt that way. Baekhyun did know that it stood in the way; between him and his revenge.

 

 

Baekhyun was so ready to take that plunge, burn his bridges and do the irreversible by hurting Chanyeol but when he was challenged in return by the person he wanted to hurt, Chanyeol himself.

It was like a switch was flipped and all the eagerness he had to do it was suddenly gone and had dissipated from him.

Baekhyun didn’t see the appeal in doing it anymore. Why had he even wanted to harm Chanyeol in the first place? What was it that made him so worked up about? What was he going to do now that Chanyeol was pissed and ready to take on the challenge?

Baekhyun didn’t like this situation he was in, but he could only blame himself for ending up in it.

 

The blood from the cut on Chanyeol’s ear was now dripping onto his own arm and hand, staining the towel around Chanyeol’s neck and also the collar of his shirt.

Baekhyun couldn’t hide the obvious trembling of his arm now and he suddenly thought that he had to do it now or else he would never have the chance.

Baekhyun wished he could back out of it but he could not undo what he had done now.

 

 

Baekhyun was scared shitless and he regretted inciting the dangerous act but it had to be done.

Baekhyun moved his arm in, forceful and fast with the intent to stab Chanyeol but if he thought he was fast then Chanyeol was faster.

Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s offending arm and quickly stood up, pushing the chair behind him which knocked Baekhyun backward.

Chanyeol let Baekhyun drop to the floor on his back with Baekhyun landing on the wooden floorboards on his butt.

Before Baekhyun’s fall, Chanyeol had tried to wrestle the scissors out of Baekhyun’s hand but failed and Baekhyun had fallen together with the scissors still in his hand.

 

Chanyeol stood up, towering above Baekhyun and yanked the bloody towel off of his neck but not dropping it yet, dangling the towel from his hand

Chanyeol was huffing and breathing heavily, looking quite perplexed and alarmed at the events that had transpired.

Baekhyun gripped the scissors tightly in his hand and almost immediately got back on his feet to lunge at Chanyeol, attempting to hurt Chanyeol with the scissors.

Baekhyun was attempting to stab Chanyeol with the scissors but with fast reflexes and quick thinking, Chanyeol stopped Baekhyun by wrapping the towel around the scissors and arm that Baekhyun was trying to harm Chanyeol with.

Baekhyun struggled to free his arm from the towel as he pushed and tugged against Chanyeol, who worked to make sure the towel wasn’t going off anytime soon.

 

“Baekhyun, stop it!” Chanyeol firmly ordered, pushing back against Baekhyun and making sure the towel was secured and wrapped around Baekhyun’s hand.

Baekhyun only growled and pushed his arm and shoulders against Chanyeol with whatever might his smaller body possessed.

“Damn it, Baekhyun, stop!” Chanyeol yelled, slightly giving way and letting himself be pushed back a few steps backward.

Baekhyun was smaller and lighter but he was relentless and seemed all too determined. Even Chanyeol found himself slowly losing to that, despite being used to the usual size advantage he got against Baekhyun.

 

Chanyeol could probably shove Baekhyun off of him and pin the latter down to disarm his trouble-making younger brother but Chanyeol needed both hands to securely hold the towel in place or else Baekhyun would stab him with it.

It was ironic because Chanyeol had once stabbed Baekhyun but he didn’t want a taste of his own medicine now.

For now, the scissors didn’t seem to be cutting through the towel and that was good, for Chanyeol at least.

 

It did look like Baekhyun had probably cut the main vein when his hands “slipped” with the scissors because the bleeding from Chanyeol’s earlobe didn’t seem to be stopping.

Blood was still gushing and flowing from his ear at a reasonable rate, down to his neck and running down his chest and arms too.

In fact, Baekhyun himself was now considerably covered in Chanyeol’s blood too from all the close body contact of pushing and shoving against Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol began to feel dizzy, light headed and felt a mild throbbing headache which he assumed was from the blood loss.

His vision was blurry and patchy too, similar to the feeling he got when standing up too fast after lying down for a prolonged time.

For once, between himself and Baekhyun, Chanyeol felt weak and that he was the one who was going to be hurt instead.

 

 

Chanyeol’s grip on Baekhyun’s arm loosened and he fought to make sure the towel didn’t go off his hand as he kept being pushed back until his back hit the door to the shower and Baekhyun couldn’t push him further than this.

They hadn’t realized it but they had been pushing and shoving against each other for a while, up to the point where Chanyeol had been pushed and walking backward until they entered the room from the living room.

Baekhyun was persistent and really intended to kill Chanyeol.

 

 

Soon, it wasn’t just hard to see because of his spinning vision. Chanyeol found it harder to breathe too; he felt as if the air around him was too thin which made him desperately gasp in search of enough air to fill his lungs and calm the panic he felt.

His muscles burned and tired out from trying to fight back. It was too distraught and Chanyeol decided to leave it up to fate or whatever higher power that actually existed by letting go of the hold he had on Baekhyun’s arm.

 

At the same time, Baekhyun’s arm too dropped and so did the towel and the scissors which plummeted to the floor below.

Baekhyun was panting, eyes bloodshot with his equally tired arms limp at his side.

Chanyeol slumped on the floor, his back against the shower as his eyes felt very heavy and he was sure he would pass out.

 

 

The wound on his ear was not stopping yet but the blood flow has lessened considerably. There was so much blood running down Chanyeol’s ear to his neck and even his black sweater was visibly stained by the blood.

Chanyeol was one big and bloody mess.

Baekhyun lifted his hand up to wipe his mouth with the back of his palm only to taste blood on his lips when he did so.

Baekhyun’s eyes grew round and wide when he took a look at his hand and saw the amount of blood on it.

Baekhyun wasn’t hurt anywhere and he knew that this was Chanyeol’s and the cause was his fault.

Baekhyun had intended to kill and hurt but now, he was alarmed. He didn’t expect it to be this bad and while he was ready to do it, he wasn’t actually ready to deal with the consequences after. He didn’t even expect that just snipping Chanyeol’s earlobe off would could this much injury and that there would be so much blood.

 

This was like the time he had tried to poison Chanyeol. Baekhyun always had the drive and intent to kill but he always lacked the guts to deal with his decisions and the weight that came along with it.

 

 

Chanyeol’s eyes were white as it seemed like they were rolling back into his own head, his head lolling and slumping on his shoulder.

Baekhyun crouched on the floor, slapping Chanyeol on the cheek to keep him awake.

“Chanyeol, don’t pass out,” Baekhyun ordered, shaking Chanyeol.

Chanyeol stirred awake but not for long before he slipped into unconsciousness again.

 

 

Knowing that he needed to try something else to keep Chanyeol from passing out, Baekhyun turned the knob on the door that Chanyeol was slumped against.

Baekhyun pushed the door open and soon, Chanyeol too stumbled backward when the door supporting his back up was pushed opened.

The sense of falling did jerk Chanyeol awake and he managed to catch himself with his arms before falling flat on the floor of the shower.

 

 

“Get up,” Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol by the arm, attempting to get Chanyeol to stand up.

“I can’t,” Chanyeol grunted, pressing a hand to his forehead and letting Baekhyun try to pull him up by the arm and failing at that.

“Then crawl. I don’t care but just get into the shower,” Baekhyun instructed.

Chanyeol groaned in pain before stumbling on his knees and hands, crawling past the glass panels which divided the shower area from the washroom area.

Chanyeol then slumped his back, sitting against the glass panels while unsure and dazed of what was going on around him before Baekhyun joined him within the small confined space and turned on the shower head.

 

The water that streamed from the shower was cold and biting at first. Chanyeol gasped in pain at how much it stung his ear and then at how cold it was against his skin.

The shock of having the freezing water wetting him did rouse Chanyeol and made sure to keep him awake from the sheer surprise and discomfort of it.

 

Baekhyun helped Chanyeol undress from his bloody black sweater, even if all Chanyeol did was lazily lift his arms so Baekhyun could pull it off of his head.

Baekhyun tossed the wet and heavy sweater because of the moisture- aside onto the tiled floor before staring at Chanyeol’s legs and innately giving up.

If it was hard to get Chanyeol to remove his sweater, Baekhyun didn’t want to imagine the hassle of taking off Chanyeol’s pants now.

 

Baekhyun made sure to adjust the knob that controlled the water’s temperature and set it something warm and more soothing before leaving Chanyeol, slumped against the glass panels and shivering in the shower.

“Clean yourself up,” Baekhyun coldly instructed, leaving the door to the shower wide open so he could see what was going on inside.

 

 

In the meantime, Baekhyun stepped out of the shower also wet and soaked but ignoring that fact as he trailed puddles and drops of water around the cabin in his attempt to throw the towel and scissors away.

Baekhyun stuffed those two items in the bottom of the empty trash bin before putting the lid back on and innately kicking at the bin as if doing that would make all the things inside to disappear.

 

 

Baekhyun padded back to the room and stood by the ajar door of the washroom; the washroom and shower which connected to from the room.

Chanyeol was hugging his legs, head pressed to his knees as he trembled under the stream of the water from the shower head; shirtless because Baekhyun had undressed him but still wearing pants because Baekhyun couldn’t be bothered with it.

Chanyeol hadn’t been personally cleaning up himself under the shower but the flow of the water helped to clean and drain off some of the blood that had dried and stuck onto him; from his ear to down on his chest.

 

The water was warm now and Baekhyun did not hesitate to join Chanyeol within the three glass panels of the shower area.

Baekhyun was already drenched and dripping wet anyway so he couldn’t be bothered to take off his clothes as he joined Chanyeol in the shower, sitting on the wet tiled floor with the water running above them.

 

Baekhyun sighed; pressing his head back against the glass panel while Chanyeol slumped on the floor across from him was shaking and trembling.

“How are you?” Baekhyun attempted to strike a conversation despite what they had been through earlier on.

It took a while before Chanyeol actually replied, his voice hoarse and croaking, “I don’t know.”

“Me neither,” Baekhyun sighed, looking at Chanyeol; “We should get you dried up and do something about that cut.”

Chanyeol chuckled dryly, fighting back the shivers he couldn’t control, “Can you stitch up cuts?”

“I don’t know how to but there is a first aid kit in the cabin. We’ll just do what we can. I won’t hurt you this time, I promise. I don’t know what took over me back there but I wouldn’t do that. Not me,” Baekhyun denied.

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Chanyeol mentioned, although it came off more like sarcasm and a snarky remark.

 

 

Baekhyun turned off the shower and for a few minutes, both brothers wished they could just stay under the warm flow of water because the air in the cabin was colder than being in the shower and the sudden shift of temperature made them realize that.

Baekhyun helped Chanyeol stumble out of the shower and out of the latter’s trousers. Chanyeol had not even been wearing his clothes for an hour before Baekhyun had to injure him and he had bled over it before being shoved in the shower.

If things were just going to continue being like this, Chanyeol would rather run away from Baekhyun and voluntary admit himself back into the psychiatric hospital.

Baekhyun was flipping mad and inconsistent, Chanyeol thought.

 

Slowly, Chanyeol was beginning to understand how it felt like for Baekhyun when they lived together in the mansion.

It was a taste of his medicine and its flavor was horrible.

 

 

After helping Chanyeol into his clothes yet again, Baekhyun treated Chanyeol’s wound by putting a plaster on it, hoping that would work even if he was guessing it wouldn’t.

The wound was large and cut deep into for the plaster to actually cover. The plaster was just a half-hearted attempt at setting things straight.

 

 

Then, Baekhyun spoon-fed Chanyeol some heated canned food.

Chanyeol was actually able to feed himself but Baekhyun had been firm and not allowed Chanyeol to even touch the spoon.

Chanyeol had to comply and he was too weak and had lost too much blood to argue back, even if it made him feel queasy and uncomfortable to be treated like he was so incapable.

 

Chanyeol was trembling and shaking throughout the entire night and ended up finishing four bottles of the mineral water that Baekhyun had bought, drinking it all up within the span of just a few minutes.

Thirst was a common side effect of blood loss and Chanyeol sure as hell felt it now.

 

 

Baekhyun was beginning to relentlessly worry from seeing Chanyeol being so pale and weak. It was warm in the cabin but Chanyeol’s skin was so cold to the touch.

Baekhyun wasn’t just worried that he had might have unnecessarily hurt Chanyeol too much but also worried at what he would do if things really took a turn for the worse.

It wasn’t supposed to be this bad and Baekhyun had underestimated it.

 

Baekhyun quickly puts Chanyeol to sleep, persuading Chanyeol to move to the only bed in the cabin and tucking him under the blankets.

It wasn’t an act of sincerity, however. Baekhyun was only doing that because he hoped and prayed very hard that Chanyeol would wake up fine and healthy the next morning so he didn’t have to worry and feel guilty too much for doing what he did.

Chanyeol fell asleep quite easily but it was mostly thanks to losing so much blood and being absolutely drained.

 

 

Baekhyun couldn’t sleep because of how worried and scared he felt. The feeling didn’t allow him to relax and his mind kept darting around the thoughts and the consequences.

Try as much as he did, Baekhyun couldn’t escape the loop of negative thoughts he had placed onto himself.

 

To pass the time, Baekhyun decided to clean up and mop the bloody mess that was left behind on the floors and rugs.

At least, if he kept his hand and feet busy, he wouldn’t have to think too much because his thoughts were driving him crazy.

It was so overwhelming and Baekhyun could escape Chanyeol but he couldn’t escape himself.

 

 

But even after cleaning not just the stains but also the entire floor, Baekhyun still couldn’t feel settled and relax.

Baekhyun sat on the chair in front of the dining table and pressed his forehead onto the surface of the table, bemoaning his fate and stressed out.

How he wished he could sleep too and maybe for a while, forget his worries and the uneasiness which was almost entirely self-caused.

 

 

With his forehead pressed to the table, Baekhyun was unable to quickly notice Chanyeol getting out of the room and walking to the kitchen.

Baekhyun only noticed it when Chanyeol made some noise after he bumped into the chairs and furniture, having walked there unsteadily.

 

Baekhyun lifted his head to see Chanyeol lift up an empty glass.

“Oh, you’re still thirsty?” Baekhyun asked, but the question was as rhetoric as asking if the sky was blue during the day.

Chanyeol looked half dead, even if Baekhyun was going to put it nicely into words.

There were eye bags under Chanyeol’s eye and his face was lifeless. Chanyeol’s hair was messy, not properly dried off from the shower and his skin was pale. All that made him look very sickly.

“Here, let me help you,” Baekhyun offered, getting up from his chair.

 

But in the time it took for Baekhyun to get up from his chair and walk over, Chanyeol had smashed the glass by throwing it into the sink.

Baekhyun only thought that he’d just have to clear the mess up and get Chanyeol a new glass to drink from. It didn’t occur in him to think of anything else.

Instead, Chanyeol reached into the sink and deliberately cut himself on the shards of glass by grabbing the most offending piece and grasping onto it tightly in his fist until bled began to flow from his fingers.

 

Baekhyun was a bit startled but there was a sense of relief too because he knew this Chanyeol at least.

 

 


	20. XX

 

“Well, there you go again,” Baekhyun commented.

Chanyeol winced, screwing his eyes shut at the pain before unclasping his hands and releasing the shards of glass back into the sink, now with his blood dripping down on it.

Chanyeol was panting and breathing heavily, gripping the edges of the sink and smearing his blood on it by doing that.

Baekhyun pulled out several paper towels and handed it to Chanyeol, “Clean yourself up, at least. You’ve lost enough blood today.”

Chanyeol snickered, eyeing the paper towels from the corner of his eye but not accepting it, “Why does it matter to you anyway? You were the one who wanted me dead and gone. You might actually get your wish now. Aren’t you happy?”

Baekhyun gulped at the apprehensiveness that Chanyeol was exerting onto him. “Why are you talking like that? We are brothers, aren’t we?”

“You were the one who didn’t want to be my brother,” Chanyeol slapped Baekhyun’s hand away with his own scarred and bloody hand as he walked away from the kitchen and leaving Baekhyun.

“Fine then, suit yourself,” Baekhyun gave up arguing with Chanyeol, throwing the paper towels into the sink out of frustration.

 

 

Chanyeol went back to the room and wrapped a t-shirt around his hand to absorb the blood before climbing back into bed and trying to fall asleep, despite how uncomfortable and uneasy he felt.

Baekhyun stayed up, sitting on the armchair beside the electric fireplace as he continued reading the book from earlier on before Chanyeol decided to cause him some problems as he would put it.

From Chanyeol’s perspective, it was Baekhyun who had caused the problem for him instead.

 

 

None of them actually knew what was going on anymore or who the other person they were actually dealing with was anymore.

Baekhyun felt like he had his brother back, but at the same time, it didn’t feel like it too. Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol wasn’t right up in the head and he was used to it but it still confused him.

 

Chanyeol, on the other hand, felt that Baekhyun wasn’t like himself and if he were to describe it, Chanyeol thought that Baekhyun was acting a lot like him and for some reasons it made him unsettled.

 

 

 

After much tossing and turning and waking up at the slightest movement or sound, Chanyeol somehow managed to fall asleep even if not for long.

Chanyeol was actually worried at what Baekhyun would do while he was asleep. For some reason, Chanyeol felt the need to always know and see what Baekhyun was up to so he could feel safe and secure.

It was probably the fatigue but Chanyeol managed to fall asleep while Baekhyun remained awake throughout the snowy night.

 

 

Baekhyun rocked himself back and forth on the armchair, biting his nails until they chipped away too far down and began hurting his flesh.

The book he was reading had been thrown aside and long forgotten about now. Baekhyun couldn’t even remember what he had been reading or what the story was about now.

 

Baekhyun felt unrest and his mind was unable to think clearly and of a solution.

Baekhyun was scared of Chanyeol, scared of the authorities that might be coming after them and mostly also scared of himself.

He could escape Chanyeol and he could escape the authorities too but he couldn’t escape himself no matter how far and how hard he ran.

Baekhyun would always be stuck with himself.

 

Baekhyun tugged on his own hair and whimpered. He was seeing things that weren’t there and hearing sounds that vanished almost as instantly as they came in auditory.

Baekhyun knew that what he was seeing wasn’t real and he constantly checked up on Chanyeol, to find his older brother sleeping soundly on the bed.

Despite knowing and being reassured that Chanyeol was there, asleep on the bed, then why was he seeing that hooded figure in the raincoat standing outside the window like on that rainy stormy night?

 

Baekhyun shut his mouth with his hand but he could still hear his own screams and pleads for help.  Baekhyun recognized his own voice and he was sure he had his mouth shut, but where were the sounds coming from?

The sounds were loud and roaring in his ear. It was ear-piercing and painful to hear.

Chanyeol did not even so much as stir from his sleep so Baekhyun knew that only he was hearing this.

 

 

Baekhyun got up from the chair and paced around the cabin, walking around in circles as he bit on the last remaining fingernails that had not been bitten and chipped off because of his erratic behavior.

Baekhyun walked across something soft and looked at his feet to see patches and strands of his hair on the ground. In his hand, Baekhyun could see the hair that had gotten tangled up and stuck to his sweaty palm.

Baekhyun then realized that he had been subconsciously tugging and pulling on his own hair so hard now that he could see bald patches near his forehead when he looked at his own reflection in the mirror in the washroom.

 

This time, Baekhyun was sure it was him actually yelling and not a voice he heard in his head.

Baekhyun wailed and cried, punching the glass in the washroom until his fist bled with shards of glass embedded into his skin and flesh.

On a normal day, Baekhyun would have probably flinched and probably be even disgusted at the wound and injury he had sustained.

 

Baekhyun dropped to the cold tiled floor of the washroom where he lay in the fetal position and continued sobbing.

Baekhyun found out that the louder he cried, the less the sounds he heard in his head. Baekhyun screwed his eyes shut as he laid there on the floor, trembling and shaking because he was afraid to see of what was in front of him.

 

“No, they’re not real,” Baekhyun shivered and repeated to himself over and over until he started sounding like a broken tape recorder.

It was the only way he could try to convince himself that everything was fine and he wasn’t going crazy like Chanyeol was.

Baekhyun didn’t want to be like that. Not now or ever.

 

 

Chanyeol was awoken by the noise and the considerable hassle that Baekhyun had caused. No matter how much of a heavy sleeper he was, there was no way that anyone would ever be able to sleep through the noise that Baekhyun was making in that small confined cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Chanyeol grunted in frustration from being disturbed in his sleep and despite feeling light-headed, Chanyeol trudged across the wooden floor to the washroom to see Baekhyun curled up on the floor; still trembling and muttering what was now nonsense and incomprehensible mumblings.

Nothing that came out of Baekhyun’s mouth made any sense and he might as well have been speaking in tongues.

 

“What is it now?” Chanyeol asked, squatting on the floor in front of Baekhyun.

Baekhyun opened his eyes to see Chanyeol there and immediately screamed, abruptly sitting up in horror before backing away until his back collided with the shower’s glass panel and he was stuck with nowhere to go to, trapped between Chanyeol and the glass.

“You look like shit,” Chanyeol commented, reaching out a hand to touch Baekhyun.

Baekhyun slapped Chanyeol’s hand away and hissed defensively, “Don’t touch me.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to help you,” Chanyeol replied, shrugging.

“Help me? You put me into this!” Baekhyun snapped and accused Chanyeol, clutching his hands to his chest.

 

“Really?” Chanyeol arched an eyebrow, “You broke me out of that hospital and dragged me here. We’re in this because of you.”

“Well, that wouldn’t happen if you weren’t so flipping mad,” Baekhyun retorted, shoving Chanyeol in the chest with his bleeding hand.

Chanyeol fell and stumbled from his squatting position, landing onto the tiled floor on his butt as he sighed, “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Do you think I’m the only one who is flipping mad now?” Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s bleeding hand and used it to pull the younger man forward.

 

Baekhyun was forcefully pulled forward and fell on top of Chanyeol’s chest, kneeling on the floor between Chanyeol’s legs.

Chanyeol embraced Baekhyun and pulled him into a tight hug, pressing his face near Baekhyun’s nape as he softly whispered, “Have you heard yourself talking lately? Has it occurred to you that it might be the both of us now?”

Baekhyun could feel the rush of warm air around his neck when Chanyeol breathed against it. It was threatening and felt uncomfortable, unwelcoming at best.

Baekhyun shook his head and pushed himself away from Chanyeol to get up to his feet and leave the washroom.

 

“You know, you should probably leave this place,” Chanyeol suggested, sitting back by supporting himself with his hands on the floor of the washroom.

Baekhyun was just outside the door to the washroom and could clearly hear what Chanyeol had just told him.

Baekhyun stopped in his tracks, hand gripping onto the frame of the doorway as he replied, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying you should leave me and this place. Go home, go somewhere, as long as it’s not here and not around me.” Chanyeol answered, now standing up too and easily towering above Baekhyun with his full height.

Baekhyun turned around to face Chanyeol and began to wear a distorted expression on his face, scrunching up his nose and looking confused but angry at the same time.

 

“Why are you telling me to leave!?” Baekhyun almost yelled in Chanyeol’s face.

“It’s for the best. You look like you’ll just get even worse if you stay here.” Chanyeol answered, expressionless and empty.

“Why are you pushing me away?” Baekhyun was dumbfounded. “You always wanted me and you went to great lengths just to have me around. Now, you want to push me away!? Why are you torturing me like this!?” Baekhyun yelled, stomping his foot down like an angry child. “Do you know how much this fucking hurts when you treat me like this?”

“Baekhyun, I-“Chanyeol was interrupted by a harsh slap on his face which Baekhyun had delivered to him.

 

Chanyeol touched and rubbed the cheek that Baekhyun had slapped him on, then looking at his hand which was stained with the blood from Baekhyun.

“Fine, then I’ll leave,” Chanyeol expressed, defeated and being the one to give in instead.

“Good riddance,” Baekhyun retorted, pushing Chanyeol on his way out from the washroom. “Go dig yourself a grave too at that. I don’t want to see your face again ever.”

 

 

Chanyeol was dead serious about his declaration and headed to the main door of the cabin, ready to leave out in the pitch black of the night and the dead of winter with nothing but just his sweater and trousers.

Chanyeol could hardly care about the fact that he was likely to perish outside in such weather, or he just didn’t have the capacity to care about it anymore.

 

Just when Chanyeol had his hands on the knob of the door, Baekhyun came running and pushed him aside.

Baekhyun fell to the ground on his knees, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s waist, pleading, “Please, don’t go. Don’t leave me, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose before holding onto Baekhyun’s arms around his waist and then lowering himself to the floor to join Baekhyun there.

Chanyeol noticed the abrupt change and sudden turn in behavior but he wasn’t going to question it because he was the same too. This was how people liked him acted and behaved.

Baekhyun was one of him too now and Chanyeol could see how plain as day it was.

 

Chanyeol hugged Baekhyun and held his younger brother tight and close, allowing Baekhyun to lean into his contradicting touch, which was warm as it was cold.

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol hushed, cradling Baekhyun against his chest while blinking back and forcing himself to not pass out from the lightheadedness and fainting feeling.

“Please. Let me stay here with you,” Baekhyun murmured, pressing his face so close that he could Chanyeol’s heart beating softly.

“You know we can’t,” Chanyeol denied but still had his arms around Baekhyun, assuring and protectively.

“Why can’t we?” Baekhyun softly whined, tucking himself closer towards Chanyeol.

“You do know that I love you more than as a brother. I really am attracted to you and I can’t just explain it but I know how I feel and you know that this kind of relationship isn’t accepted anywhere in our society. Besides, you don’t feel the same way about me and because I love you, I thought that I should let you go. I’m not pushing you away, Baekhyun. I have to do this for you. For us,” Chanyeol answered, piercing into his heart with his own words.

 

“No,” Baekhyun cried, pressing his teary face onto Chanyeol’s chest, “Just stop trying to let me go, please. Don’t push me away. It hurts.”

“You only say that now but soon you’ll be afraid of me and want me gone. You have what I have now, Baekhyun. It’s not that easy,” Chanyeol regretfully had to say.

“But it doesn’t have to be hard either!” Baekhyun punched his fist into Chanyeol’s chest. “Why can’t you just hurt me and try to kill me like you used to do? I would be so happy if I got to die in your hands because we can’t be with each other while we’re alive.”

 

With that being said, Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun away harshly before backing off and getting up from the floor, leaving a rejected Baekhyun on the floor to sob his heart out.

Chanyeol stepped away, further and far from Baekhyun as he could manage in that small cabin.

 

Baekhyun pulled harder on his own hair, ripping off his hair from the roots harshly and feeling the figurative stinging feeling of literally being pushed away by the person he wanted the most in his life.

Why did Baekhyun even want Chanyeol? Chanyeol was the source and root of his problems, after all, and if he never met Chanyeol his life would have never been so upside down like this. Chanyeol hurt him so much but Baekhyun always found his way back to his so-called brother.

Baekhyun yearned and craved Chanyeol but at the same time, Baekhyun despised and resented Chanyeol more than anything else.

But Baekhyun couldn’t comprehend all that anymore. He was so far down and deep gone inside for any reason or comprehension.

 

 

“I love you too,” Baekhyun mumbled under his breath, on his knees on the floor. Baekhyun repeated those three words over and over, reciting it like a mantra without a single pause or hitch in his voice.

Chanyeol heard those words from across the room and he immediately felt something sprung up inside him.

Chanyeol had initially kicked into defensive mode and started to put distance between himself and Baekhyun but when he heard those words spilling out like honey from the mouth of his beloved, no matter how jumbled up it sounded, how could Chanyeol not want to just go over and hold Baekhyun so tight and so close?

 

Chanyeol himself had always been like this but Baekhyun was the catalyst and that forbidden sin that pulled him deeper down into a place where the light would no longer reach them.

 

 

Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s frail and thin body within his own hands, tucking Baekhyun’s head under his chin.

Chanyeol moved them both to the bedroom and gently laid Baekhyun down on the bed sheets, while Chanyeol kneeled on the floor by the side of the bed to wipe away the blood and remove the shards of glass from Baekhyun’s hands.

Chanyeol cleaned up the wounds and bandaged it, just like Baekhyun had done for him earlier. Before Chanyeol was done with that, he pressed a gentle and chaste kiss on Baekhyun’s knuckles, caringly and lovingly.

 

This was how Chanyeol always wanted it to be. He never wanted the hurt or the pain or the anguish they had to face.

 

 

Then, Chanyeol joined Baekhyun on the bed, holding Baekhyun tight and close until he stopped shaking and trembling, resting comfortably in Chanyeol’s arms.

“I love you,” Chanyeol repeated, kissing the top of Baekhyun’s head.

“Are you sure that we will never be together?” Baekhyun softly asked, resting his head against Chanyeol’s chest, feeling lulled by the rise and fall of Chanyeol’s chest.

“I only said that because I thought you didn’t love me so I didn’t want to force you into something you didn’t want. But now that I know you do, I promise that I will try my best so we can be together.” Chanyeol reassured, caressing Baekhyun’s cheek with the side of his hand.

“Why do you say that as if something is going to happen to us?” Baekhyun meekly asked, peering above to look at Chanyeol without moving his head. “We can stay here for a while. No one will find us here. We’ll be safe.”

“Don’t worry,” Chanyeol asserted, “I will make sure everything will be fine so whatever happens after this, I want you to be patient and wait. I will come for you, I promise.”

“You will?” Baekhyun shifted and sat up, facing Chanyeol on the bed.

“Of course I will, I love you,” Chanyeol declared, lifting Baekhyun’s face up to align their lips together and dive in for the kiss.

This time, Baekhyun willingly kissed Chanyeol back and all the disgust and the wrong feelings he felt to kiss his own brother were buried deep down, lost together with his conscience and rationality.

Baekhyun couldn’t even shame himself for liking how Chanyeol touched him in all the right places and how good Chanyeol made him feel.

Baekhyun spilled Chanyeol’s name from his mouth like a spell and Chanyeol only encouraged it further. They were one and the cabin in the middle of the snowy forest was the witness to the consummation of their supposedly taboo and forbidden relationship.

But there wasn’t anyone there to stop them or tell them otherwise, and they themselves weren’t exactly the best voice of reason and logic other. They only served to enable each other.

Chanyeol, now, wasn’t just a source of pain but also pleasure for him. If Baekhyun knew that it would be this good to just embrace it, he would have voluntarily chosen to slip further down the rabbit hole earlier on.

 

Baekhyun went to sleep that night, feeling sated and pleased with Chanyeol by his side.

Even though Baekhyun didn’t know how things would be like for him when he woke up the next morning and if Chanyeol would still be the same as he was tonight, Baekhyun actually felt at ease and comfortable for once with Chanyeol.

Even if it was just an illusion or a façade of content, Baekhyun would have that any day over the harsh reality that was to face them.

 

 

 

It sure did come soon enough because Baekhyun was awoken two mornings later by the cabin being stormed by the authorities; including the police, state troopers, and even the forest rangers.

Baekhyun, as well as Chanyeol, were apprehended.

“Remember, be patient and wait for me. I will come,” Chanyeol reminded Baekhyun, kissing the younger man one last time before they were torn apart and separated.

Baekhyun thrashed and kicked against the restraints, crying out for Chanyeol who only cried and screamed back at him as they were brought away from each other.

 

 

 

Chanyeol was re-admitted into the same psychiatric hospital he escaped from, this time for another six months before he was discharged and declared medically fit again.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, was admitted into a private mental institution after also being declared mentally unstable and insane. Baekhyun was not given a timeframe for his hospitalization and his stay was indefinite.

 

 

On Baekhyun’s birthday; the following year after he was admitted to the institution and Chanyeol had been already discharged for almost nine months, Kyungsoo came by to visit during visitation hours especially now that Baekhyun was allowed to have guests even though under strict supervision by the staff.

Kyungsoo registered himself at the front desk, declaring and presenting to the staff the cake and flowers he had bought for Baekhyun so they could inspect it before letting him pass through.

While Kyungsoo waited at the desk, he spotted a few workers removing the old name plaque and portrait on the wall behind the front counter before they were supposed to hang up a new one.

 

“Is the place renovating?” Kyungsoo asked.

The lady working at the desk replied to Kyungsoo, “No, it isn’t. We’re just changing to the new owner’s portrait. The conglomerate that owns the institution recently had some administration changes because some investor bought over the majority of the stocks. I heard he’s becoming the new CEO or director or something like that. I don’t know why he’d be interested in a mental institution out of all the other stuff he got with the takeover.”

“I see,” Kyungsoo nodded.

“Oh, please sign this too,” The lady at the desk handed Kyungsoo a clipboard with a guest list for him to sign.

“Sure,” Kyungsoo complied, clicking the pen he was given and signing the form before handing it back.

 

Kyungsoo glanced up and saw that the new portrait and name plaque was being installed but the body of the workers fixing it obscured his view.

When the workers moved aside, bringing the image of the portrait into full view, Kyungsoo froze on his spot because the face smiling within the frame was that of Park Chanyeol, unmistakably.

This time, Kyungsoo could only laugh.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I marked it as complete for now because, in all sense of the current timeline and storyline, it is finished. However, there is still more to be told and written because the crazy brothers' story isn't done yet. 
> 
> I will continue this one day when I feel less stressed by writing and when I can actually write again.
> 
> For now; a big thank you to everyone who read this. I appreciate your support and feel free to ask any questions if you have them because I admit that this is probably one of my weakest works to date.


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